Currently Reading:
Not Always So
by Shunryu Suzuki



A Thin Line:
What is the difference between a mindful practice and dogma?

Both are ritualistic.
Both are done with great thought.
Both are done with great care.
Both require great attention.

I submit that most dogmas began as mindful practices. I further submit that the difference is selflessness versus selfishness.

If you have a ritual of any sort that you do with great thought, care, and attention; then the difference is you.

Are you selfish? Do you desire that others perform it correctly because it annoys you when they do not? That is dogma.

Are you selfless? When you perform your rituals, do you have their benefit in mind? That is a mindful practice.


A Mindful Practice within a Mindful Practice:
It is easy for a mindful practice to become a dogma, just cross that thin line between selflessness and selfishness. Therefore, watching that thin line is in itself a mindful practice.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
Buddha
by Manuela Dunn Mascetti



Raining Acid:
It's Wednesday, and it's been raining ash for the last couple of days. OK, so it's not raining acid, it's raining alkaline. That's just as bad, but not as scary sounding.

The fires in San Diego are more or less under control. Half the county burned, and ~1,000,000 people were evacuated. All the reporting of all the numbers just becomes numbing. Yes, LOTS of stuff burned down, so what. What happened? Through all of the ridiculous statistics that were thrown at us for the last few days, much of it meant much.

Hey news media, would it have killed you to have thrown up some maps? I mean honestly. There was the rare map posted, but it was only up for 2-3 seconds. No exaggeration. When they were up, which was MAYBE once an hour at best, they were only up long enough to get a quick glance. It was utterly ridiculous. I, and everyone else I talked to, spent the entire time wondering what the heck was going on. What was on fire? Where was the fire? Where was it moving to? Who should evacuate? What roads were open, and what roads were closed?

The news media completely and utterly failed us. Why am I surprised?


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Artist's Way
By Julia Cameron



Dear Cruel Attacker:
Thank you. You have shown me the chink in my armor, and I will immediately work on fixing it. You have my sincere gratitude for assisting me.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Artist's Way
By Julia Cameron



Who's in Charge:
You're driving down the road. Suddenly, someone cuts you off. There was absolutely no good reason for it. There's plenty of space all around the nearly empty road. What the hell! F*ckin jerk!

STOP

What just happened? Did you decide to get angry? Did you decide to raise your pulse, blood pressure, and release adrenaline into your blood stream? Did you decide to flip off the other driver? Did you make ANY of those decisions? Did you even think at all, or did it all happen TO you.

When you're in an unfamiliar social situation, do you even notice most of the body language you're using? That body language is telegraphing subconscious messages to everyone in the room all sorts of things about yourself. Your body language is telling everyone how comfortable or nervous you are, whether you have a dominant or submissive personality, etc. Are you choosing ANY of the body language you're using, or is your body just doing it?


Responsibility:
When I first considered the idea that I wasn't in control of 90% of what I was doing, the idea made me uncomfortable. I immediately started thinking the same kind of thing that an absolutist would say to a relativist, "If I'm not responsible for my actions, what's to stop me from going crazy and killing/raping/stealing everything in sight?

Actually, it's a very liberating feeling.


Dokusan:
This week in dokusan with Zen Sensei, I asked about these things. He smiled and said, "You're not in control." Those words echoed in my head for the entirety of the next week. When i went back to him last night, we went into observing our bodies.

Sensei: When you become angry, where in your body do you feel it, and what do you feel?
Me: Usually I feel it in my throat. It becomes tight.
Sensei: Your opponent has you by your throat!
Me: *startled look*

This week, I am to pay attention to how my body reacts to emotions. Before I allow myself to react, take a moment to observe how my body feels. What am I feeling? Where am I feeling it? Can I take a moment to relax, observe my physiological reactions, but I don't have to act on them.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Artist's Way
By Julia Cameron



The Pick Up:
I've found a show on VH1 called "Pick Up Artist". While it sounds cheezy, it is actually something that I believe is so important, that I wish every boy could go through before graduating high school. "The Pick Up" is not about "getting laid", at least not when it comes to this group of "Pick Up Artists". "The Pick Up" is about being comfortable with yourself, confident, bold, charming. These are all skills which most males fail to develop when trying to meet women. No on teaches us these skills, and then we're "failures" when it comes to meeting women.

Believe it or not, this spills over into more areas of our lives then most people would care to admit. This "failure" at what is biologically our main purpose in existing effects EVERYTHING in our lives. Men that take the time to learn and develop these skills have a tremendous spill over into the rest of their lives. Making friends become easier. Our jobs become easier.


Personal Value:
Mystery (the Pick Up Artist instructor) said something that I had forgotten. He told each of his students, "From this day on, no one has a higher social value then you. No one."

Simple words, yet invaluable.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
Nothing


Dokusan:
While in Dokusan this week, I asked Sensei how one can witness their moods as they are occurring, meditating with intention, how one can attain wisdom and compassion. He smiled and said that there is one thing all of these things have in common; freedom.


The Paradox of Freedom
On the mention of the word "freedom", my mind was sent back to the book "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran. Gibran wrote that "In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains, though its links glitter in the sun and dazzle the eyes." When I first read that almost 2 years ago, I thought about the paradox of freedom for the first time. The idea of freedom is so captivating, that it itself becomes an entrapment which causes one to lose their freedom.

How does one truly attain freedom, even from freedom itself? By realizing the danger of the freedom paradox, and always being careful of it.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Three Pillars of Zen
by Roshi Philip Kapleau



Vow:
I vow that the people I talk to, I will accept fully as they are.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Three Pillars of Zen
by Roshi Philip Kapleau



This is a Test:
How would you react if you knew for a fact that you were being tested? I know that I would probably not react quite so much. I might even laugh at the things that annoy and stress me.

Isn't everything a test? I tend to forget this quickly, and am again reminded of it. Everything is a test. Boundary tests. Authority tests. Tests of maturity. Tests of skill. Everyone is constantly testing me, and I need to remember that.

When the woman on the Atheist Forums board flips out, that's nothing personal, it's just a test.

When my boss assigns me extra work, while my coworker takes an extra 20 minutes for lunch, it's just a test.

When my coworker randomly whistles and talks so loudly that I can't hear the customer on the phone, it's just a test.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha

Currently Reading:
The Three Pillars of Zen
by Roshi Philip Kapleau



A Moment to Breathe:
The last few weeks have been REALLY busy. Summer school started back up, and that was going balls to the wall, because the mid-term test came quickly. I am happy to say that I got a respectable B, which is just fine by me. Speech is not a class that I'm obsessed with acing, and I'm not an honors student obsessed with getting straight A's. For my purposes, a B is perfectly fine.

Only a few days before that mid-term was my first Aikido test. I was 8th kyu, now I am 7th kyu, and already studying for 6th kyu. What does this mean? I have a new color belt! I am not longer a pathetic white belt, I am now a high and mighty yellow belt!


Work Situation:
I have a new office mate, and I'm not particularly pleased about it. This person was with our company, but left and came back. She's nice, but she's annoying. She's stopped coming in late and taking extra long lunches, so I'm not as annoyed by that anymore. Now it's just the other stuff, like the random out breaks of bad whistling. The random out breaks of desk drumming. The leaving her desk for 30 minutes at a time to chat with the supervisor. Nothing work related, just gabbiness. I spoke with the supervisor about this the other day, and we'll just have to see.


Practice:
I've not been focusing so much on attributes lately. I've been focusing on being "awake". All of my effort has been put into being aware. Aware of my surroundings. Aware of my situation. Aware of what I am doing. So far the result is that I am discovering that I am much less clumsy then I had previously thought. I am discovering the next "magical Zen power": When one actually pays attention to what one does, there is no such things as clumsiness or "stupid mistakes".


Summation:
Whew! That was a lot to get out, but there it is. I'll make an effort to keep up with this blog better in the future. On re-reading it, I don't puke so much onto one entry. It's just too much, and unfocused. The next one will be much better.


Cheers,
CET

"Much of the suffering in the world comes from the illusion that we are separate from one another." - Gautama Buddha