Author Archive for the chaplainPage 3 of 4

Caring Communities: Nudists v. Churches

You may not be surprised to learn that the deacon and I have spent the past week camping at a nudist club campground. This is our second venture into the world of nudism. Our first similar experience was at a clothing optional resort in Jamaica this past spring.

When we were in Jamaica, we were struck by the non-judgmental, accepting attitudes of the people at the resort. The people at the resort came in all ages, shapes and sizes. Some could have been featured on magazine covers, but most did not come anywhere close to that ideal. It didn’t matter. We quickly discovered that, when everyone is naked, people soon stop paying attention to bodies. Another thing we noticed was that nobody at the resort cared whether people were straight, lesbian, gay, bi- or whatever. We simply ate, drank, swam, chatted and enjoyed life without judging each other. Many of us were thrown together by happenstance. Odds are, none of us will ever meet again, unless we happen to return to the same place at the same time next year. A good number of others traveled together as members of formal clubs. They deliberately planned their trips to coincide, and even arranged to have adjoining rooms for their members. They were explicit communities within the looser short-term community of the resort.

During our week in Jamaica, the deacon and I became friends with a couple who had been to several nudist resorts and campgrounds in the Caribbean, Mexico and the United States. They shared stories of their experiences and piqued our interest in exploring the world of nudism some more. Shortly after we returned home from that trip, the deacon began looking online for places where we could enjoy similar experiences this summer. After deciding how far we wanted to travel, we decided to try out a nudist club campground in a neighboring state.

As we’ve met people throughout this past week, I couldn’t help making mental comparisons between this club and churches I experienced throughout my life. I think it’s fair to say that most churches want to see themselves as close-knit communities that are

a) composed of people who are committed to the group’s ideals and members, and
b) open to welcoming new members into their midst.

The people at this campground share those two similarities with church members. The campground is a private facility owned and operated by a member-owned non-profit organization. Consequently, many of the people we’ve met this week have been camping here for many years. Several of them serve on the club’s board of directors, and many of them share in the campground’s operation and upkeep. The club members are committed to providing a place where members and guests (the deacon and I are visiting as guests this week) can enjoy the nudist lifestyle. In addition to being committed to the ideal of providing a safe, secure place for nudists, the members of the club are committed to each other as friends.

On criterion (a), I’ll give both churches and nudists equal points, even though I could discuss, at length if I wanted to do so, church cliques, hierarchies and politics. I’ve enjoyed wonderful friendships with church people, and I’ve witnessed the way some church people support each other in times of trouble and grief. I’ve been both the recipient and the giver of such support, so I know how deep those bonds can be. I’ve seen similar dynamics at play among the members of the nudist club this past week. These people are watching or have watched each others’ families grow up. They know each others’ dogs by name (and there are nearly as many dogs here as people). They eat dinner, cut grass, walk their dogs, do water aerobics, and play tennis, paddle ball and petanque together. They are a community.

The place where nudists seem to out-perform churches is criterion (b). I’ve already described our Jamaican experience, which differs from both the club and church experiences in important ways. But a comparison between clubs and churches is not unreasonable. What I’ve experienced this week is an abundance of warmth and welcome that far exceeds anything I’ve ever experienced in churches. Bear in mind, I’ve attended churches in 9 Canadian provinces and at least 20 US states as either a member or visitor. Now, I realize that the nudist club has a pecuniary interest in welcoming the deacon and me into their midst. I’m pretty sure our membership fees would not be refused if we asked to join. So, some of what we’ve experienced is undoubtedly tied to a sales pitch. But churches also have pecuniary interests have in attracting and keeping new members. That being the case, it’s amazing how often visitors can slip in and out of church meetings without saying a word to anyone in the congregation. I’ll go one farther. It’s amazing how often church members can slip in and out of church meetings without saying a word to anyone in the congregation.

Having vast experience of churches, and admittedly limited experience of nudist communities, I have to say that I’m more impressed with nudists than churches. Nudists aren’t perfect. Individual nudists are undoubtedly as capable of backstabbing, cheating and other nasty behaviors as individual religionists or anyone else. Nevertheless, my impression of the nudists I’ve met here and in Jamaica is that they basically just want to enjoy life and allow others to do the same. In contrast, most religionists I’ve known, either personally or by reputation and media, thrive on depriving themselves and others of life’s pleasures. Given those premises, if you had to choose between these two options, which community would you join?

– the chaplain


Filed under: humanism, life, religion, society

Manifestations of Misogyny

The wizarding world of Harry Potter was touched by misogyny when Afshan Azad, a Muslim cast member who played the role of Padma Patil, was beaten severely for dating a Hindu. According to court records, Azad’s brother “left his younger sister bruised and swollen after grabbing her by the hair, throwing her across a room and punching her in the head and back as she cowered on the floor….” When Azad’s father learned of the situation, he told her brother to kill her. The brother, a good Muslim who had been drinking, then tried to strangle her.

The Manchester Evening News report of this event is harrowing reading. Ultimately, Azad (somehow) lived through three hours of hell before escaping through her bedroom window and reporting the beating to the police the next morning. I was disappointed, but not surprised, to read that Azad “wrote a letter to Judge Roger Thomas QC asking for her brother not to be locked up and saying that she had forgiven him. The court heard that Ms. Azad has never supported the prosecution despite giving police an initial statement.” One of the most nefarious aspects of religious and cultural misogyny is the way women internalize it. Azad’s plea to the judge is but one example of this phenomenon. It’s one thing to forgive her brother, but quite another to aid him in evading the just consequences of his behavior. Another example of internalized misogyny in this story is the response of Azad’s mother, who called Azad a whore and told her that “she would have to be sent to Bangladesh to marry” a Muslim man. Wow. Talk about blaming the victim! It’s obviously Azad’s fault that her brother beat her because she’d had the audacity to fall in love with a non-Muslim. That rendered her a whore who deserved either banishment from her home and family or death. I’m glad that Azad a) survived this encounter, and b) did not move to Bangladesh per her family’s dictates. Instead, she left her home in Manchester and now lives in London. This gives me hope that she’ll break the religious and cultural shackles that led to her horrific experience.

Now, before we non-Muslims get smug about our superiority, we’d better take a look at events happening right here in the USA. The great state of Kansas recently enacted abortion regulations that will effectively shut down abortion providers until they can satisfy stringent new licensing requirements. The providers were given a generous ten days notice of the changes, which include substantial physical plant modifications that will take weeks or months to complete, and which providers claim are medically unnecessary. Kansas used to have three abortion clinics. One of these was forced to close recently and the remaining two will likely be closed by the end of this week unless a temporary injunction against immediate implementation of the law is granted. This is very bad news for the people of Kansas. Especially the women.

Let’s cut out all bullshit and face an ugly fact: laws like these are designed solely to control the sexuality, reproduction and overall health of American women. They are nothing less than institutionalized misogyny – misogyny that is embedded in American culture, its dominant religion, and, when states can get away with it, its laws. The fact that many women support such measures is testament to the power of internalized oppression. Thousands, perhaps millions, of people have been really pissed off since the passage of Roe v. Wade, and they’ve made numerous attempts to overturn it, or, failing that, to sidestep it. This latest move by the state of Kansas is an example of the latter. The state has not outlawed abortion. It can’t do that. Therefore, it’s done the next best thing: it’s made abortion within its borders inaccessible. For awhile anyway.

Both Islamic and Christian cultures and religions have long, infamous histories of misogyny. In Christianity (but not Islam), women have been blamed for Original Sin. In both traditions, women have been cast as wicked temptresses of men (which is why many Muslim women are required to hide themselves under layers of cloth). In both traditions, women have been cast as inferior to men (a position that has been systematically reinforced through religious and social customs, as well as law). Misogyny is not unique to Islam; it’s just extraordinarily blatant in that milieu. Islamic misogyny is akin to the Old South’s Jim Crow laws – easy to oppose because it’s so damned obvious. Christian misogyny is more akin to the Northern racism I witnessed during the Civil Rights era – subtler than Jim Crow, and consequently more difficult to identify and destroy. Subtlety doesn’t make it any less real, and it certainly doesn’t make it any less dangerous, even deadly, than Islamic misogyny. It simply makes it harder to fight.

It’s only fair to note that many Christians and Muslims reject the misogynistic mores of their religions. And many of them have joined nontheists in opposing those who want to sustain those shameful traditions. As the accounts discussed above make clear, believers and nonbelievers alike have a long struggle ahead of us if we hope to rectify our society’s wrongs. But we will overcome.

– the chaplain


Filed under: abortion, atheism, indoctrination, legal, politics, rationalism, religion, sex, society, spiritual abuse, women's rights

Shrink Wrapped Son of Man

Having thoroughly enjoyed Robert M. Price’s response to Rick Warren, The Reason Driven Life, several years ago, I eagerly looked forward to reading his more recent book, The Incredible Shrinking Son of Man. Price’s aim in the latter book was to set aside theological interpretations of Christian scriptures and see if there are any passages, particularly in the four gospels, that provide hard, historical data about Jesus Christ. His conclusion, not surprisingly, is that there is no such data to be found anywhere in the Bible.

Did Jesus rise from the dead? The Gospels give us no reason to think so. Every single story bears the marks of fiction, with earlier versions ruling out later ones, with extrabiblical parallels providing abundant nonhistorical analogies, while current experience provides no historical parallel. The Gospels certainly do not put us in touch with the faith (whatever it may have been) of the earliest Christians. They do not tell us whether the resurrection of Jesus was even part of the first Christian faith(s). Everywhere we have looked, we have found naught but legend and myth, fiction and redaction. What we have found is a kind of empty tomb. What we can never tell is whether anyone was ever buried there.

Throughout his examination of numerous passages from the four gospels, the book of Acts and purportedly historical excerpts from the Pauline epistles, Price explains carefully – and, more importantly, applies – his analytical methods. Readers unfamiliar with scholarly methods of New Testament analysis will find Price’s book a good introduction to this subject.

Non-Christians who have spent any time studying Christianity are aware that many of the New Testament stories and teachings have numerous parallels in the legends and literature of other religions. Some of these religions pre-dated Judaism and Christianity and others were contemporaneous with the early Christian era. One thing I didn’t realize was how many of the New Testament stories were actually based on Old Testament legends. I was aware of some stories that are said to have “pre-figured” Jesus’ ministry, but not of others in which Old Testament healings, etc., appear to have been simply re-written with reinvented/renamed characters, much as formula fiction is written today. Throughout the book, Price carefully dissects numerous passages from the Old Testament and other ancient writings alongside their New Testament parallels and demonstrates that many biblical themes – betrayal, atonement, salvation, redemption, resurrection, etc. – are universal. Neither the themes nor their resolutions are unique to Christianity. Price shows that, far from being unique, all of the Christian Jesus-legends are either derived from or based on the literary forms of pre-existing stories of gods and heroes.

One of the things that most fascinated me was Price’s re-interpretation of the Jesus stories as competing, rather than complementary or cumulative, accounts. Price reminds the reader that the early Church was not monolithic. Dozens of Christian factions and communities believed divergent, often contradictory, bodies of “Christian” dogma and myths. When one keeps this in mind and reads the New Testament as literature produced by pro-James, or pro-Peter, or pro-John, or pro-Paul factions, the need to harmonize obviously discordant accounts disappears. Price demonstrates, to put it bluntly, that it makes more sense to read the New Testament as political propaganda produced by competing candidates/parties for church leadership than as a coherent body of god-inspired dogma.

If one accepts Price’s analyses and conclusions, one cannot accept the miracle-working, crucified-resurrected-and-ascended Bible-Jesus as an historic figure. Price leaves open the question of whether the Bible-Jesus character was loosely based on an actual itinerant preacher or a completely fabricated legend. At this point, we’ll probably never know which is the case. What we do know is, thanks to Price and many other scholars, the legend of Jesus Christ is no longer God-sized. It’s time to bring out the shrink wrap.

– the chaplain


Filed under: literature, rationalism, religion

Maher Hits His Target

I’m a lukewarm fan of Bill Maher. When his aim is true, as it often is on religious issues, he hits his target squarely. But, when his aim is misplaced (think: anti-vaccination hysteria), the ricochets are wild, if not downright dangerous. Maher recently took aim at Texas Governor Rick Perry, another of several wingnuts running for president on the Jesus ticket. This time, Maher’s aim was true.

I’ll count that commentary as a bullseye.

– the chaplain


Filed under: humor, politics, rationalism

A New Choir Member

I know I’ve been remiss on posting lately. All I can say is that, like you, I’ve been extraordinarily busy. And I’m about to get busier. The deacon and I welcomed a new choir member to the chapel today. Her name is Hypatia. She’s seven weeks old, adorable, sweet and feisty. She wouldn’t settle into her crate at all to ride home, so I put her on my lap, where she settled down very nicely.

When she got home, she didn’t lose any time making the place her own.

Hypatia Playing With Her Tug Toy

I look forward to Hypatia adding her distinctive beagle voice and face to the chapel choir for many years to come.

– the chaplain


Filed under: pets

And the Winners Are…

all the kids who will be going to Camp Quest this summer!

You’ve probably already read this bit of news at Greta Christina’s blog, or at Jen’s place, or maybe even at PZ Myers’ small corner of the atheosphere. But, just in case you haven’t read it at any of those places, I’ll post it here too.

You may recall that, in late April, several atheists took on the challenge of raising money for Camp Quest. To refresh your memories, PZ Myers formed a team all by himself, and Team Awesome formed another team. The competition opened with an effort to raise $5,000.00. Since PZ Myers managed to do this within a few hours, Team Awesome decided to move the goalposts. We extended the contest to June 1 and left the final tally open-ended – a challenge that PZ graciously accepted.

Since today is June 1, it’s time to announce the results of this fierce-yet-friendly competition.

Team PZ raised $14,616.01.

Team Awesome raised $15,418.79.

Yes, you read that correctly. Team Awesome defeated Team PZ. More importantly, the combined totals for both teams was an impressive $30,034.80. This means that, thanks to everyone who donated (it doesn’t matter to which team you contributed, what matters is that you gave), a lot of kids will have some wonderful experiences at Camp Quest this summer. That thought really warms the cockles of this hard-headed, cold-blooded atheist’s heart.

Several members of Team Awesome have devised interesting ways of celebrating both the team’s victory and everyone’s accomplishment. Since PZ helpfully listed these celebratory acts, I’ll just copy and paste his summary here:

Greta Christina will regale us in karaoke, Jen will have pratfalls while learning to bicycle, JT will be going hairless, and Matt will be appearing on the Atheist Experience in drag. While I [PZ] will be leaning back in my easy chair, sipping an iced tea, and laughing.

Thank you, PZ, for participating in this competition and for not being too ungracious in defeat. Thank you, members of Team Awesome. Several of you worked really hard promoting this charity and your efforts paid off handsomely. Most of all, thank you to everyone who donated to a great cause. Many families will be happier this summer because of you.

– the chaplain


Filed under: announcements/news, humanism, rationalism, secularism, society

Post-Rapture Post

Well, it’s no surprise that I’m still around today, but there are some people – mostly in the USA, I think – who expected to be in a better place today. Will any of them think long and hard about why they’re still here and not there? Will any of them continue listening to Harold Camping after he opens his Bible again and crunches his old numbers in a new way to derive another idiotic prediction? Will any of them wise up to the fact that this lunatic is 0 for 2 for predictive accuracy, and take to heart the adage that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results?

I’d like to think so. Maybe a few of them will. But, I suspect that an awful lot of people are so committed to living their lives for some world other than the one they’ve got that they’ll continue following either Camping or someone like him. What a pathetic state of mind in which to live.

My life isn’t ideal, nor is it easy. But it’s mine. And I’m committed to making it the best life I can with the tools I’ve got. Some people think religious delusions are useful tools for building lives. I’m not one of them. I hope that a few (many) of the people whose dreams of rapture failed yesterday will lock their religious tools in their tool sheds, set fire to them, and join the reality-based community. There’s too much to enjoy in this life to squander it preparing for another one. I hope at least a few more people are ready to try life the faith-free way now.

– the chaplain


Filed under: humanism, religion

Tale of a Bureacratic Horse’s Ass

My job in the local office of a business requires that I communicate with corporate headquarters on a regular basis. Believe it or not, I usually manage to play nicely with the other bureaucrats. But there are times…

Below is a slightly edited reconstruction of an email I got from one of my least favorite playmates in my bureaucratic sandbox.

TO: the chaplain
CC: the neighborhood horse’s ass’s boss; the boss of the neighborhood horse’s ass’s boss;
the corporate office department head; the chaplain’s boss; the chaplain’s boss’s boss
FROM: the neighborhood horse’s ass

RE: criminal background check for John Doe

Criminal background checks are not required for cooks. Unless you want to run a check on John Doe anyway.

The photos on the documents you faxed are illegible. Please scan and email them.

Thank you,
the neighborhood horse’s ass

Attachment: scanned copies of illegible faxed documents

It probably did not escape your notice that the neighborhood horse’s ass decided he had to copy nearly every bureaucrat in two states on this matter. My guess is that he was trying to impress them with how seriously he takes his job, how fearlessly he puts morons in their places and reminds them of procedural norms, and how moronic are the people he struggles with on a daily basis. Oh, yes. The horse’s ass is a smart cookie, alright. He dots his i’s and crosses his t’s without fail, and he always minds his p’s and q’s.

There’s just one small problem with his little missive.

He sent it to the wrong moron.

Upon checking the attached documents and ascertaining that

a) I had not hired John Doe to cook or perform any other tasks in my workplace,
b) I had never, to my knowledge, met John Doe, and
c) John Doe had been hired by the Virginia Beach office,

I responded to the horse’s ass. Naturally, since he had sent copies of his reprimand to a multitude, I hit the “reply to all” button and composed my response:

TO: the neighborhood horse’s ass
CC: the neighborhood horse’s ass’s boss; the boss of the neighborhood horse’s ass’s boss;
the corporate office department head; the chaplain’s boss; the chaplain’s boss’s boss
FROM: the chaplain

RE: criminal background check for John Doe

John Doe is not employed here. Try Virginia Beach.

Here’s his response:

TO: the chaplain
CC:
FROM: the neighborhood horse’s ass

RE: criminal background check for John Doe

Oops. My mistake. I sent that email to the wrong person.

Duh, ya think?

I’m sure you noticed that his response was not copied to anyone. When he was the big man showing up the little peon in a local office, he made sure to let everyone above him (and me) know it. When he got his ass handed to him on a golden platter, he did the right thing by apologizing. He also did the wrong thing by not stating his apology as publicly as he stated his reprimand. I shouldn’t have been surprised. What else should one expect from the neighborhood horse’s ass?

– the chaplain


Filed under: society

Summer Camp Memories…And A Challenge

Some of my happiest childhood memories involve summer camps. Camp was the place where I made friends with kids from other places, went swimming every afternoon, bought candy at the camp store every day, learned goofy songs, performed silly skits by the campfire, and learned to appreciate the natural world. When I was a teen, camp was all of those things, plus smoking contraband cigarettes (or joints) behind the cabins, making out with guys in the woods…I’ll leave it at that.

The downside to my camp experiences was that they were saturated with god-talk. Campers, counselors and other staff members were obligated to sing grace at every meal:

We thank you, Lord, for the world so sweet;
We thank you, Lord, for the food we eat.
We thank you, Lord, for the birds that sing,
We thank you, Lord, for everything.

We attended daily Bible lessons, held cabin devotions every night and attended full-blown church services on Sunday mornings. Camp in my childhood was designed to be a godly affair.

Not all children’s camps are venues of intense indoctrination. A coalition of secularists has organized a camping network called Camp Quest.

The purpose of Camp Quest is to provide children of freethinking parents a residential summer camp dedicated to improving the human condition through rational inquiry, critical and creative thinking, scientific method, self-respect, ethics, competency, democracy, free speech, and the separation of religion and government.

By now, you’re probably saying things like, “Cool!” Or, “I wish I’d had that when I was a kid.” And even, “How can I help?” I’ve got the answer to that question. You can help by donating to Camp Quest via this link. Several atheist bloggers are having a friendly competition to raise money for Camp Quest. PZ Meyers is one team. He and his supporters have already raised more than $5,000.00. The other team is an informal association of bloggers – Greta Christina, Hemant, the Friendly Atheist, Jen at Blag Hag, JT Eberhard, Adam Lee. And me.

I’m honored to have been invited to join Team Underdog Awesome in its two-fold challenge to

a) beat PZ Meyers’ ass and force him to shave his beard, and
b) raise money for a great cause.

I can’t wait to see what PZ’s hiding under all that hair. And I want to help rationalist families. If you want to help too, all you have to do is click here. It’s a great way to start the summer.

– the chaplain

UPDATE! Digital Cuttlefish, master poet of nonbelief, has joined our team! Yea, Team Underdog Awesome!


Filed under: announcements/news, atheism, indoctrination, memories, rationalism, religion, society

Celebrate a National Day of Reason

Having recently been inundated with emails reminding me that some people declared today a national day of prayer, I was pleased when I received the following note from the Secular Coalition for America:

Secular Americans Praise Rep. Pete Stark’s National Day of Reason Proclamation

Millions Celebrate National Day of Reason Today
To Recognize the Value of Reason in American Life

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Secular groups praised a proclamation Representative Pete Stark (D-CA) entered into the congressional record today recognizing May 5 as the National Day of Reason. The proclamation resulted from collaboration between Representative Stark and the Secular Coalition for America, the leading national lobby for secular Americans.

“Reason and rational thinking have made our country great,” Rep. Stark’s proclamation stated. “The Constitution of the United States of America is based upon the philosophies developed during the historical Age of Reason and the idea that citizens engaging in rational discourse and decision-making can govern themselves. The Constitution also contains a strong separation of church and state, making it clear that government should continue to be built on reason.”

The National Day of Reason has been celebrated since 2003 as a more inclusive alternative to the divisive and congressionally mandated National Day of Prayer. The National Day of Reason, according to Stark’s resolution, “is also about taking time to improve our communities – whether that means holding a blood drive or collecting items for the local food bank. It is also about ensuring that our government represents citizens of all beliefs and backgrounds.”

The entire proclamation can be found here.

“The Secular Coalition for America has a great appreciation for the continued work Representative Stark has done to promote reason and secular values on Capitol Hill,” said Sean Faircloth, executive director of the Secular Coalition for America, who spoke today at a National Day of Reason event on the North Carolina State Capitol grounds in Raleigh. “By encouraging Americans to employ reason and perform good deeds in their community, this proclamation embodies values that all Americans can rally behind – not simply those who pray or believe in a god.”

A listing of National Day of Reason events, as well as more information and statistics, can be found here.

“The National Day of Reason has truly taken off,” said Roy Speckhardt, executive director of the American Humanist Association, an SCA member organization. “Through National Day of Reason activities such as volunteer work, charity events, and open-forum discussions, it’s self-evident that you don’t have to believe in God to be a good person, and you don’t have to adhere to a divisive tradition such as the National Day of Prayer.”

The Secular Coalition for America is a 501(c)4 organization that serves as the national lobby for atheists, humanists, freethinkers, and other nontheistic Americans. Composed of 10 diverse member organizations, SCA works to protect and strengthen the secular character of our government as the best guarantee of freedom for all. For more information, please visit www.secular.org.

I heartily applaud Rep. Stark for poking the Religious Right in the eye on yet another day on which they seek to

a) shove their religion down everyone’s throats, and
b) promulgate their silly Christian Nation myth.

I say, ignore them completely and double the insult them by combining your Day of Reason festivities with some Cinco de Mayo celebrations.

Salute!

– the chaplain


Filed under: atheism, politics, rationalism

In Glock We Trust

I found an interesting item in the Washington Post the other day. It seems some Christians in northern Virginia don’t really expect their god to keep them safe, even when they’re in church. So, they’re helping him out.

By bringing weapons to church.

Here are some excerpts from the article:

Parishioners carried Bibles in embroidered cases, babies with ribbons in their hair, and flutes, violins and sheet music into Immanuel Bible Church for Palm Sunday services.

And a few carried guns, tucked into waistbands, hidden under suit jackets.

- snip –

Philip Van Cleave, of the Virginia Citizens Defense League, said people have been carrying concealed weapons to church for years because of the threat of terrorism and church shootings across the country.

“Al-Qaeda has been our reason, as well as many of the recent church shootings around the country,” he said. “Think of it this way: If saving your own life isn’t a ‘good and sufficient reason’ to carry a gun, then what else could possibly qualify?”

- snip -

“Guns in a church? Why?” said Samy Youssef, a member from Alexandria. “God is our protector. He is our savior.”

- snip -

“The real sad thing for all of us in this is it’s an indication of where our culture is — that public meeting areas, churches, schools, town halls, malls are threats for terrorism,” Holley said. Two years ago, he said, a preacher in Illinois was gunned down in the pulpit.

The Rev. Tom Joyce, a fellow Immanuel pastor, said there was a case in Colorado in which a gunman began spraying bullets in a church but was shot and killed by someone in attendance.

“We rely 100 percent, before any weapon, in the power of the Holy Spirit to protect us,” he said. “It’s also good to have some people here on campus” who are trained and armed.

It seems to me that, if the Holy Spirit’s protection needs to be supplemented by firearms, then faith in him is not 100%, as claimed. Samy Youssef (quoted above) agrees with me. Apparently, the gun-toting Bible-thumpers who disagree with Samy and me are more inclined to believe that their god helps those who help themselves than to believe that he looks after his own.

– the chaplain


Filed under: religion, society

Chappie’s Kitchen #2

A long time ago, I started what was supposed to be a recipe series. The reason I haven’t shared anything since my first entry is that I don’t usually measure ingredients when I cook – I just add stuff, taste it, add some more and so on. The reason I have this recipe to share is that I wanted to get a nutritional breakdown, calorie count, etc. In order to do that, I had to pay more attention to what I was adding and how much of it was going into the pot. Today’s recipe is Amatriciana Sauce W/ Chopped Veggies.

This is a variation on Italian amatriciana sauce – I substituted bacon for the pancetta and added some fresh veggies. Authentic amatriciana is pretty hot and is simpler than this as it leaves out the veggies and some of the non-pepper seasonings. Be forewarned – the recipe below is a bit hot. The seasonings can be varied according to taste, and 1/3 cup of wine can be substituted for some of the water (if you use cooking wine, omit the salt). Also, fresh Roma tomatoes could be chopped and substituted for the canned tomato sauce to cut down the sodium.

We’ll start with the ingredients:

Hunt’s Tomato Sauce – 1 15-oz. can
Hunt’s Tomato Paste – 1 8-oz. can
Onion – 1/2 cup, chopped
Celery – 1/2 cup, chopped
Garlic – 4 cloves, chopped
Carrots – 1/2 cup chopped
Water – 1 cup, or 2/3 cup water + 1/3 cup wine
Sugar – 2 tsp.
Bacon – 4 slices, chopped
Pepper – 1/2 tsp.
Salt – 1 tsp.
Red Pepper – 2 tsp. (may substitute Tony Chachere’s seasoning)
Oregano – 1 tsp.
Rosemary – 1 tbsp.
Thyme – 1 tsp.

Next, the procedure:

Add tomato sauce, paste, liquid and seasonings to crock pot and begin cooking on high.

Once the base sauce has started cooking, chop vegetables and bacon, and brown in saucepan until tender. Start with the bacon, then add veggies when fat has started melting. You may add one tablespoon of olive oil, if needed, to keep veggies from burning. When veggies and bacon are nicely browned add them to the sauce in the crock pot. Sauce may be cooked in crock pot 2-4 hours without burning.

Prepare pasta – rigatoni and rotini go nicely with this sauce. One minute before pasta has finished cooking, remove 1-2 tablespoons of pasta water and reserve. Drain pasta, then add pasta and reserved cooking water to sauce. Cook pasta for one more minute in the sauce, then serve.

Finally, nutritional data for those who are interested in such things:

Note: the nutritional calculation does not include the pasta.

Servings Per Recipe: 4 (calculated at 1 cup per serving – this is quite a lot, so you may want to decrease the amount according to your taste)

Amount Per Serving

Calories: 166.9
Total Fat: 4.2 g
Cholesterol: 5.4 mg
Sodium: 1,869.2 mg
Total Carbs: 30.0 g
Dietary Fiber: 6.9 g
Protein: 7.3 g

If you like Italian food, you may enjoy playing with this recipe and adapting it to your tastes and needs.

Happy cooking!

– the chaplain


Filed under: recipe

Intervention: Robin Cook’s Dose of Religious Bullshit

One of the books I took to Jamaica for beach reading was Robin Cook’s Intervention. I’ve read several of Cook’s medical thrillers over the years and have generally found them both entertaining and edifying. Unfortunately, that was not the case with this book.

The principle reason Intervention disappointed me was that Cook took the curious position of indicting alternative medicine while allowing for the possibility of faith healing. Yes, you read that correctly. In Intervention, Robin Cook simultaneously offered compelling evidence against such practices as chiropractic spinal manipulation, acupuncture and homeopathy and completely ignored the dangers of faith healing. Cook achieved this by having his characters take the same route that most Western believers take: they sought both medical attention and divine intervention for their sick child. And when the child was healed, they claimed not to care which factors had been efficacious – they were just glad their child was well.

*sigh*

Okay. As a parent I get that. In a desperate situation, the pragmatic side of me – allowed to operate unchecked by my intellect – could easily conclude, “What the hell; whatever works.” I can even accept that agnostic parents – such as Cook’s principal characters – might, in desperation, seek divine intervention for their chronically ill child. But, as a reader, I cannot accept that Cook, an author who “strives to elucidate various medical/biotech ethical issues…” would allow – without offering one shred of evidence to support his position – this one exception to his general condemnation of alternative medical practices.

Cook didn’t take the extreme position of promoting divine intervention in lieu of standard medical intervention. Of course not. That position would mark him as a nut and jeopardize his standing with both the medical profession to which he belongs and his readers. And it’s probably a position he abhors. Instead, he took the safe middle way that many Westerners take: a dose of conventional medicine accompanied by a dose of religion. In short, Cook takes the following positions in this book:

1. Alternative medicine – standard medicine = not acceptable.
2. Prayer placebos/healing hands + standard medicine = acceptable.

Like many people, Cook seems to think something along the line of, as long as people don’t ignore real medicine, religious placebos won’t do any harm. Does Cook feel the same way about acupuncture? Is he comfortable if people seek pain relief from both acupuncturists and MDs? What about crystals? Are crystals combined with pills okay? Exactly how does one determine which woo is respectable and which is reprehensible? Why is religion respectable and reflexology flaky? Personal prejudice surely is not an acceptable criterion for making such determinations. The bottom line is, if conventional medicine is the only necessary ingredient, why make allowances for any woo at all? Cook never answers this question. And that really pisses me off, because he’s the one who raised it. I suspect that, had Cook addressed alternative medicine without once mentioning faith healing, few people would have noticed, or cared if they had noticed, the omission. But, Cook didn’t do that. Instead, he went out of his way to introduce the religious element into his story, presumably so that he could go out of his way to make an exception for it. Consequently, what should have been a fascinating, informative read about the dangers of alternative medicine ended up being a piss poor novel, a lame apologetic for religion and an intellectually unsatisfying waste of valuable beach time.

My advice to Dr. Cook is this: the next time you’re compelled to write a book that is both entertaining and educational, do a gut check on whether you’re willing to follow your evidence to its logical conclusion. If you’re not, then do us all a favor and write about something else. Whatever you do, please spare us another failed intervention.

– the chaplain


Filed under: literature, religion, science, society

Paradise Lost

The deacon and I enjoyed our vacation in Jamaica and will likely go back again. This is a glimpse of what we saw and did there. We began by flying into Montego Bay.

We also went to Rick’s Cafe, in Negril, to watch some cliff diving.

In addition to cliff diving, we were supposed to see the sunset. Unfortunately, some asshole on our bus booked dinner reservations at the same time as sunset at Rick’s. The deacon valiantly restrained me from throttling her.

I even managed to roll off my float for a little while and do some snorkeling.

Now, I’m officially in detox mode.

– the chaplain


Filed under: travel

Somewhere Warm, Wet & Wild

I know I haven’t blogged very faithfully lately (perhaps a better word would be “faithlessly?”) and I don’t have an excuse for that. I do, however, have an excuse for continued unfaithfulness for the next couple of weeks.

I’ll be leaving this

for this

The only question that remains is whether I will be bronzed or burned when I return.

– the chaplain


Filed under: announcements/news

Signposts on My De-Conversion Trail

Like many children, I thought church was extraordinarily boring. Unlike many children, I was compelled to be at church several times a week. That being the case, I couldn’t help absorbing the dogma that was reiterated in both church and home, ad nauseum. I was not raised in a complete bubble, but it was about as close as it could get short of being home-schooled. As an adult – even as a Salvation Army officer – I resolved never to let my life, or the lives of my children, become completely absorbed in evangelical Christian and – especially – Salvation Army bubbles. In hindsight, I think that resolution probably sealed my fate.

I was about 12 when I first learned that there were people who didn’t believe in god. Until then, I’d had no idea that no-god-belief was even an option. As far as I knew, everyone believed in god, and everyone I knew personally believed in god, or said they did. The medium through which I learned about atheism and agnosticism was a TV show called All in the Family and the first “out” nonbeliever I encountered, via the boob tube, was Mike Stivic, Archie Bunker’s agnostic son-in-law. All I figured out at that time was that agnostics professed not to know whether god existed, and atheists did not believe in god. I didn’t know of any way to find out more about nonbelief, so I just tucked those little bits of information into some corner of my mind. I didn’t love god. I didn’t want to “do god’s will.” And I certainly didn’t want to go to church as often as I did, but I wasn’t in a position to change that circumstance anytime soon. So, I got on with my life as best I could.

I was about 14 when we studied Greek mythology in 9th grade English class. I was greatly amused by those randy gods who couldn’t resist having sex with all those beautiful mortal women. One day, I had a weird thought: What’s the difference between those gods and dolls, and god and Mary? Wow! Stunning idea! An idea I quickly dismissed by rationalizing that god didn’t actually have sex with Mary, so it wasn’t the same thing at all.

So I went on living my life.

But…that Virgin Birth thing never really sat well with me; I had a feeling there was more to that story than I was being told. I believed in god, Jesus, the whole evangelical schtick as far as I knew it, but I still didn’t love god or Jesus, and I still didn’t want to “do god’s will.” I just labeled myself a rebel and got on with my life.

I was in my mid-teens when I “got my heart right with god,” and, after graduating from high school, I attended a Christian college. Needless to say, the indoctrination process there was thorough, and I graduated completely convinced that Christianity was the True Religion, and evangelicalism was the right way to do it.

Fast forward to my mid-thirties. I’m the oldest person in my graduate school History of Education class. I’m also the only former minister. One day, as we’re examining Martin Luther’s writings on education, a student asks: What’s he talking about when he keeps saying that the devil is tempting him? I wait for the prof to field the question, then jump in when he shrugs his shoulders. I explain that all indications were that Luther believed that Satan was a real being – a spirit being, but a real entity nonetheless – who worked evil in the world and in people’s lives. She looks astonished that any adult would believe such a thing. The prof looks abashed, but doesn’t say anything. I just shrug my shoulders and think, “Yeah, it does sound pretty silly, doesn’t it.” That was the day I stopped believing in Satan.

There were other signposts along my de-conversion trail – points at which I stopped, caught my breath, and wondered whether the path I was following led anywhere at all. I’ve written about some of them before but there’s more to tell. In good cliffhanger fashion, I’ll save those stories for another day.

– the chaplain


Filed under: thechaplain