Author Archive for Steve Wells

What the Book of Mormon says about the poor (and why Mitt Romney should be concerned about them)

Published
by
Steve Wells
on February 3, 2012
.
The morning after winning the Florida primary, Mitt Romney said "he wasn't concerned about the very poor" in an interview with Soledad O'Brien of CNN.

The next day at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Obama expressed just the opposite point of view. Here are some excepts, along with the corresponding bible verses.

... the biblical call [is] to care for the least of these –- for the poor; for those at the margins of our society. To answer the responsibility we’re given in Proverbs to “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.” (Proverbs 31:8-10)

...

John tells us that, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:17)

There were, of course, some misapplied biblical references to "Am I my brother's keeper" (Genesis 4:9) and "For unto whom much is given, much shall be required." (Luke 12:48). But Obama made his point: he's a better Christian than Romney.

Still if I were writing Obama's speech, I'd have thrown in Proverbs 29:17, just for Mitt "I'm not concerned about the poor" Romney.

The righteous considereth the cause of the poor: but the wicked regardeth not to know it.

So we've pretty well established that Mitt isn't much of a Christian. But we already knew that. He's a Mormon.

And what the does Book of Mormon say about poor people?

Plenty, as it turns out. Here are some excerpts.

Ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. (Mosiah 4:16)

Ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another. (Mosiah 4:21)

Impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath. (Mosiah 4:26)

They did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted; and ... they were liberal to all. (Alma 1:27-30)

Yea, he saw great inequality among the people ... turning their backs upon the needy and the naked and those who were hungry, and those who were athirst, and those who were sick and afflicted. (Alma 4:12)

Will you persist in turning your backs upon the poor, and the needy, and in withholding your substance from them? (Alma 5:55)

So I guess Mitt Romney isn't a very good Mormon either.

Islam: It’s mostly about going to the bathroom

Published
by
Steve Wells
on January 28, 2012
.

You probably think that being a Muslim involves praying five times a day, eating halal food, fasting during Ramadan, and traveling to Mecca once in your lifetime. And, for many Muslims, it does. But there's a heck of lot more to it than that.

Take going to the bathroom, for instance.

Now it's true that Allah doesn't provide much bathroom guidance in the Quran, although there is this bit of helpful advice:

When ye rise up for prayer ... if ye ... cometh from the closet, or ye have had contact with women, and ye find not water, then go to clean, high ground and rub your faces and your hands with some of it. Quran 5:6
Which tells us that that kind of thing is important to Allah. He cares about your bathroom routine.

And so does Muhammad (PB&J be upon him). He was absolutely obsessed with it. Here is what he had to say:

Your Apostle (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) teaches you about everything, even about excrement. (1)

So let's take a look at some of the things that Muhammad taught about excrement.

  1. Before entering the bathroom, cover your head, put shoes on your feet, and say this little prayer: "O Allah I seek your protection from the male and female devils."
    When going to the toilet the messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would wear footwear. He would cover his blessed head and before stepping into the room, he would read: 'O Allah I seek your protection from the male and female devils.' (1)

  2. Enter the bathroom with your left foot.
    The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would enter the toilet with his left foot. (1)

  3. Don't read the Quran while on the toilet.

    Any verse of the Qur'an, should be removed before entering the toilet. (1)

  4. Don't let anyone see you pee. (No one ever saw Muhammad do it -- except for all those eyewitnesses who provided the glorious details about his peeing technique.)
    Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) states that, 'When the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would go to relieve himself he would go so far that no-one could see him.' We should make sure that there is complete privacy whilst relieving one's self; this is modesty that every Muslim should have. (1)
    A person should be concealed from the sight of others when answering the call of nature. ... How can anybody uncover in front of other people the ‘awrah (private parts) which Allaah has placed between his legs to conceal it and commanded him to cover it? (2)
    One should move and hide himself from others, as the prophet SAAWS only relieved himself when he was out of site. (2)

  5. Don't try to hold it before prayer. If you do, your prayer won't count. (Allah knows who has to pee or fart and who doesn't, and he gets pissed off when he sees people praying when they should be peeing.)
    When the time for prayer comes and one of you needs to relieve himself, he should do that first ... it is Makrooh-e-Tehrimi to hold urine/wind or the need to go to the toilet. One should relieve themselves first as the Salaah will have to be repeated. (1)

  6. Keep all of your clothes on until the very last second. Then take off only the clothes that are absolutely necessary while getting as close to the ground as possible. (God hates to see you naked.)
    'When the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would go to relieve himself, he would not remove the clothing from his body until he was close to the ground. (1)
    A person should not uncover his ‘awrah (private parts) until after he has squatted close to the ground, because this is more concealing, as Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: “When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to answer the call of nature, he would not lift his garment until he had squatted close to the ground.” (2)

  7. Point your face in some other direction besides Mecca while pooping or peeing -- but for God's sake don't point your butt or penis in that direction either. (If your toilet at home is facing Mecca, you're up shit creek, so to speak. If you're a good Muslim, you'll remodel the bathroom so the toilet faces New York, Rome, or Salt Lake City instead.)
    Facing or keeping the back towards the Qibla whilst going to the toilet is forbidden. We should take care of this at all times. If the toilet is facing the Qibla in your home then try and sacrifice some money and have it changed as you will be sinning every time you use the toilet. (1)
    “Your Prophet has taught you everything, even how to defecate!” Salmaan said: “Yes, he forbade us to face the qiblah when urinating or defecating…” (2)
    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you sits down to answer the call of nature, he should not face the qiblah or turn his back towards it.” (2)

  8. When you're doing your business, don't touch your penis with your right hand. Use your left hand to hold it while peeing and to wipe your butt after you're done pooping. (Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.)
    The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, 'None of you should hold the private parts with the right hand while urinating, or wipe with the right hand in the privy. (1)
    [T]he Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you wipes himself, he should not use his right hand.” (2)

  9. Don't use the right hand for cleaning either. It's pretty much useless while in the bathroom. (I try to keep mine over my head or behind my back.)
    Do not use the right hand for cleansing (Istinja) as it goes against the Sunnah unless you have a problem with your right hand. We use the right hand for eating, drinking, shaking hands, reading the Qur'an etc. we should use the other hand for cleaning, holding shoes, cleaning the nose etc. (1)
    The Prophet’s wife Hafsah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to use his right hand for eating, drinking, making wudoo’(?), getting dressed, and giving and taking things, and he used to use his left hand for other things. (2)

  10. Wash and wipe an odd number of times.
    Wash in odd numbers i.e. 1, 3, 5 or 7 times. (1)
    [T]he Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to wash his posterior three times. Ibn ‘Umar said: “We did this too and found it to be healing and cleansing.” (2)

  11. Do all your clean-up with just three fingers: the middle fingers of your left hand. (May take some practice.)
    Use the left hand middle three fingers for cleanings. (1)

  12. For an easier pee, try pushing on your left leg.
    Put slight pressure on the left leg it makes it relieving easier. (1)

  13. Pee sitting down. Whoever pees standing up will go straight to hell when they die. (Muhammad's nine year old wife, Aisha, swore he was a sit-down pee-er.)
    Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) says that, 'Whosoever says that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would stand up and urinate do not believe them, he would urinate but sitting down ... One of the reasons of the punishment in the grave is because of urinating standing up, Islam has given us a method to follow not only will you relieve yourself but you will be rewarded too. (1)

  14. Don't get any urine on yourself. If you do you, Allah will torture you in hell for it. As the Prophet of Pee said so well, "Most of the punishment of the grave will be because of urine."
    Once the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) while passing through a graveyard heard the voices of two persons who were being punished in their graves. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'These two persons are being punished not for something major (it is not difficult to be save from it).' The Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) then added, 'Yes! (They are being tortured for a major sin) Indeed, one of them never saved himself from being soiled with his urine... (1)
    He should be careful to remove all impurity after answering the call of nature, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against being careless in cleaning oneself after urinating: “Most of the punishment of the grave will be because of urine.” (2)

  15. Females should wipe with the heel of the left palm, being careful not to separate the legs too much.
    The sister should cleanse themselves with the lower palm of the left hand and do not separate the legs to wide. (1)

  16. Males should hold the penis from the top with the left hand index finger and thumb, gently milking it until all the drops come out.
    When cleaning yourself, males should hold their penis from the top with the left hand index finger and the thumb. Gently work your way down (as if milking an animal) so if drops are left they will come out. (1)

  17. Whatever you do, be sure to get that last drop out. Force the little bugger if you have to.
    After performing urination, if you feel that another drop of urine will come, then it is wajib for you to perform 'Istibrao' meaning after urination to perform some act that would force the urine left inside, to come out . (1)

  18. First wash the front of the penis and then the back.
    First wash the front then the back. (1)

  19. In all of this, try hard not to even look at your penis. Looking at your own penis can cause severe memory loss.
    Without necessity do not look at your private parts as there is a chance of the memory becoming weak. (1)

  20. When you finally force that last drop out and you've washed your penis, front and back, wash your hands three times.
    After you have relieved yourself, wash your hands up to the wrists thrice. (1)

  21. Don't talk in the bathroom. If someone else talks, cough three times. (God doesn't like it when people talk while not fully clothed.)
    One should not talk in the toilet without absolute necessity but if a person outside is calling and does not know then cough thrice to make them aware. ... When two people talk when the body is uncovered Allah (The Exalted) is displeased. (1)
    [A] man passed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whilst he was urinating, and greeted him. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “If you see me in this state, do not greet me, because if you do, I will not respond.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 346; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 575). The majority of scholars say that it is makrooh (disliked) to speak in the restroom unnecessarily. (2)

  22. Wipe your butt with your left hand, using at least three pebbles. But don't use bones or dung, for, as Muhammad said, "They are the food of the jinn."
    Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that he used to carry a vessel for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to do wudoo’ and clean himself after answering the call of nature. Whilst he was following him, he (the Prophet) asked, “Who is that?” He said: “I am Abu Hurayrah.” He said: “Get me some stones I can use to clean myself, but do not bring me any bones or dung.” So I brought him some stones, carrying them in the hem of my garment, and placed them by his side, then I went away. When he had finished, I came back and asked him, “What is wrong with bones and dung?” He said: “They are the food of the jinn.” (2)
    No one shall make "Estinjaa" without using three stones. ... The prophet SAAWS asked his servant (Abdullah Ibn Masood) to bring him three stones for "Estinja", Ibn Masood RAA only found two stones so he brought him a piece of animal's droppings (dung) that was dry. When the prophet saw it, he threw it away and said that it is Najasah (impure). ... "Salman was once asked: Your prophet teaches you everything, even how to relieve yourselves? Salman said: Certainly.... he forbade us from facing the Qiblah while doing so, from cleaning ourselves with our right hand, and from cleaning ourselves with less than three stones. (3)

  23. When you're done, wash your private parts with water. (Muhammad didn't have to do this, though, because his pee was special.)
    Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates that, 'The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) went to answer the call of nature, 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) bought some water. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'What is this'' He replied, 'Water for cleansing (Istinja).' The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'It has not been made necessary (Wajib) upon me after urinating to cleanse myself with water.'(1)

  24. Watch out for jinns and devils. They like to hang out in bathrooms and mess with your private parts.
    [T]he Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'These toilets are peopled by Jinn and devils, so when one of you goes there say, 'I seek protection in you from the male and female devil.'' Meaning pray the supplication before entering the toilet.

    The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'When one of you intends to go to the toilet then recite 'Bismillah' a veil will be placed between the jinn and the parts of your body.' This should be recited before entering the toilet. (1)

  25. When you're all done, leave with your right foot. (1)
    When leaving the toilet one should step out with the right foot.

  26. After leaving, say a little prayer to the toilet god.
    Once outside the toilet read this supplication: 'O Allah I seek Your pardon. All praises are due to Allah who has taken away from me discomfort and granted me relief.' (1)
    When leaving the toilet, he should say: “Ghufraanak (I seek Your forgiveness).” (2)

  27. If you fail to follow any of these rules, the invisible bathroom devils will give you some sort of mental illness.
    We should try and learn these short supplications and practise them too. If we do not seek Allah's (The Exalted) protection from the devils, then there is a chance we can be affected with mental illnesses from the devils. We can not see the devils and when you can not see your enemy they are more dangerous. (1)

So you see what I mean. If you follow all those rules every time you go to the bathroom, you won't have much time for anything else.

1 Sunnah of Going to the Bathroom (Toilet)

2 Muslim Bathroom Etiquette

3 Istinjaa - Bathroom Etiquette

Tebow 136: God’s message from last night’s game

Published
by
Steve Wells
on January 15, 2012
.

In last week's overtime win against the Steelers, Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards. And, of course, believers everywhere immediately knew that God was trying to tell us all something.

You see, God carefully arranged (fixed) the game so that Tebow's passing yards would match the numbers of his favorite verse -- the only verse that he and his followers seem to know or care much about -- John 3:16.

God, it seems, likes to communicate using Tim Tebow's stats.

So what was God saying in last night's game against the Patriots?

Well, God is really into passing yardage, and last night Tebow passed for 136 yards.

Which could only mean one thing: God wants us all to read and obey a particular Bible verse involving the digits in the number 136.

After a careful check of the Bible, I think I know what verse God had in mind: Deuteronomy 13:6 (and following verses).

Here's what God says in the passage beginning with that verse:

13:6 If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

13:8 Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:

13:9 But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

13:10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die.

God wants us to stone to death our family and friends, without pity (God hates pity), if they encourage us to worship the wrong god. (Which, of course, would include any Mormons, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, etc.)

I can't wait to see Tebow's eye-black for next season's opening game!

Mitt Romney and the Curse of Blackness

Published
by
Steve Wells
on January 15, 2012
.
Obey Hendricks has a great article at HuffingtonPost entitled, "Mitt Romney and the Curse of Blackness." Here are some excerpts.
...there is something about Mitt Romney's religion that I find deeply troubling, particularly in light of the possibility that he could become the next president of this nation. What concerns me is this: the Book of Mormon, the book that Mitt Romney and all Mormons embrace as divinely revealed scripture ... declares that black people are cursed. That's right. Cursed. And not only accursed, but lazy and aesthetically ugly to boot.

...the Book of Morman says it explicitly and in numerous passages: black people are cursed by God and our dark skin is the evidence of our accursedness. Here are a few examples:

And the Lord had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them (2 Nephi 5:21).

And I beheld, after they had dwindled in unbelief they became a dark and loathsome and a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations (1 Nephi 12:23).

O my brethren, I fear that unless ye shall repent of your sins that their skins will be whiter than yours, when ye shall be brought with them before the throne of God. (Jacob 3:8).

And the skins of the Lamanites were dark, according to the mark which was set upon their fathers, which was a curse upon them because of their transgression and their rebellion against their brethren, who consisted of Nephi, Jacob, and Joseph, and Sam, who were just and holy men (Alma 3: 6).

...at no time has Mitt Romney ever publicly indicated that he seriously questioned the divine inspiration of the Book of Mormon's teachings about race, much less that he has repudiated them. It is true that in a 2008 Meet the Press interview with the late Tim Russert, Romney did vigorously assert his belief in equal rights for all Americans in every facet of life. As part of that narrative, he cited his parents' "tireless" advocacy for blacks' civil rights, including the dramatic exit of his father, Michigan Governor George Romney, from the 1964 Republican convention as a protest against nominee Barry Goldwater's racial politics. He also shared that he wept when he learned of Spencer Kimball's aforementioned revelation. Yet from Romney's remarks it is not clear whether he wept for joy because Mormonism was eschewing its segregationist policies or if he wept from relief that the announcement promised to quiet the public outrage that those policies were causing. And significantly, while he recited his parents' efforts to confront racial injustice, Mitt Romney pointed to no such activities of his own.

...Mitt Romney himself owes it to America to address the issue. Why? Because Romney was tutored into adulthood by a holy book that declares that all Americans like me are cursed by God. And he is not only a believer; he has served as a leader in his faith.

....when Tim Russert invited Romney to repudiate his Church's racist legacy on Meet the Press, Romney refused.

That is why, Mr. Romney, as an American citizen whose president you seek to become, I must insist that you honestly and forthrightly attest to me and all Americans of goodwill that you actually can be my president, too, fully and completely. You can accomplish this by publicly disavowing the portions of your holy book that so sorely denigrate the humanity of me, my loved ones and all people of black African descent.

It is incumbent that you do this, candidate Romney, for the sake of all Americans.

No one should vote for Mitt Romney unless he does exactly that.

194 ways to get yourself saved

Published
by
Steve Wells
on December 17, 2011
.

17 December 2011 update: Found a new way to get saved from the Book of Tobit. (May only work for Catholics.)

Also, teavee has found a few others that I've added to the list.

Fundamentalist, born-again Christians love to say that there's only one way to get saved. But if you believe the Bible, there's a lot more than that. Here are the ways that I've found so far. Let me know if I've missed any and I'll add them to the list.

  1. Say the right things.
    For by thy words thou shalt be justified. -- Matthew 12:37
  2. Do the right things. (Be a do-gooder.)
    And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life. -- John 5:29
    I the Lord ... give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. -- Jeremiah 17:10
    For we must all appear before the jugment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. -- 2 Corinthians 5:10
  3. Believe the right things.
    A man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law. -- Romans 3:28
    Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. -- Romans 5:1
    A man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ. -- Galatians 2:16
    For by grace are ye saved through faith. -- Ephesians 2:8
  4. Do and believe the right things.
    Faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. -- James 2:17
  5. Work your way to heaven.
    For you render to each one according to his works. -- Psalm 62:12
    For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works. -- Matthew 16.27
    And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. -- Revelation 20:12-13
    Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works. -- 2 Corinthians 11:15
    The Father, who without partiality judges according to each one's work. -- 1 Peter 1:17
    What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? -- James 2:14, 17, 20, 24, 26
    I will give unto every one of you according to your works. -- Revelation 2:23
    Behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work. -- Revelation 22:12
  6. Burn your work.
    If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire. -- 1 Corinthians 3:15
  7. Work it out with fear and trembling.
    Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. -- Philippians 2:12
  8. Be hungry now and never get full.
    Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. ... Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. -- Luke 6:21, 24
  9. Hunger and thirst after righteousness.
    Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. -- Matthew 5:6
  10. Do what is lawful and right.
    When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness ... and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul. -- Ezekiel 18:27
  11. Do nothing. Die in Adam; come alive in Christ.
    For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. -- 1 Corinthians 15:22
  12. Obey the law of the wise.
    The law of the wise is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death. -- Proverbs 13:14
  13. Do God's will
    He that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. -- 1 John 2:17
  14. Do the will of Jesus' father.
    Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. -- Matthew 7:21
  15. Be a doer of the law.
    Who will render to each one according to his deeds. ... For not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified. -- Romans 2:6, 13
  16. Call on the name of the Lord.
    Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. -- Acts 2:21, Romans 10:13
  17. Call upon God.
    As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me. -- Psalm 55:16
  18. Trust in the Lord.
    The LORD shall ... save them, because they trust in him. -- Psalm 37:40
  19. Seek the Lord and don't forsake him.
    The LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever. -- 1 Chronicles 28:9
  20. Get to know God.
    In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction. -- 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9
  21. Wait for him.
    Wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee. -- Proverbs 20:22
    Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us. -- Isaiah 25:9
  22. Wait and come for 1335 days.
    Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days. -- Daniel 12:12
  23. Just look at him.
    Look unto me, and be ye saved. -- Isaiah 45:22
  24. Get lost.
    The Son of man is come to save that which was lost. -- Matthew 18:11, Luke 19:10
  25. Get scourged.
    Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. -- Hebrews 12:6
  26. Get tortured.
    "Others were tortured ... that they might obtain a better resurrection." -- Hebrews 11:35
  27. Get lucky.
    I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. ... Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth. ... Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour? What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction: -- Romans 9:15-22
  28. Hope.
    For we are saved by hope. -- Romans 8:24
  29. Repent.
    Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. -- Luke 13:3, 5
  30. Overcome.
    He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God. -- Revelation 2:7
    He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death. -- Revelation 2:11
    He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels. -- Revelation 3:5
    Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God ... and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem ... and I will write upon him my new name. -- Revelation 3:12
  31. Don't be so darned wicked.
    When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul. -- Ezekiel 18:27
  32. Don't offend the little ones.
    But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. -- Matthew 18:6, Mark 9:14, Luke 17:2
  33. Don't be filthy or naughty; receive the engrafted word.
    Lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. -- James 1:21
  34. Walk upright.
    Whoso walketh uprightly shall be saved. -- Proverbs 28:18
  35. Endure temptation.
    Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life. -- James 1:12
  36. Don't lust.
    Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. -- James 1:15
  37. Bridle your tongue.
    If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. -- James 1:26
  38. Believe in Jesus.
    Whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. -- John 3:16
    I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. -- John 11:25-26
  39. Believe on Jesus.
    He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life. -- John 3:36
    Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. -- John 6:47
    Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. -- Acts 16:31
  40. See Jesus and believe on him.
    Every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. -- John 6:40
  41. Confess with your mouth "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead.
    If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. -- Romans 10:9
  42. Confess Jesus before men.
    Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. -- Matthew 10:32
    Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God. -- Luke 12:8
  43. Obey Jesus.
    And [Jesus] being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him. -- Hebrews 5:9
  44. Hear the words of Jesus and believe in whoever sent him.
    He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life. -- John 5:24
  45. Hear and do the sayings of Jesus.
    Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock. -- Matthew 7:24
  46. Keep Jesus' saying.
    If a man keep my saying, he shall never see death. -- John 8:51
  47. Drink Jesus' water.
    Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. -- John 4:14
  48. Get saved by the grace of Jesus.
    Through the grace of the LORD Jesus Christ we shall be saved. Acts 15:11
  49. Be dead with Jesus.
    It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him: -- 2 Timothy 2:11
  50. Be born again.
    Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. -- John 3:3
  51. Be born of water and the spirit.
    Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. -- John 3:5
  52. Be spiritually minded.
    To be spiritually minded is life. -- Romans 8:6
  53. Believe Paul's gospel.
    Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:1-2
  54. Listen to Peter's words. (They will save you and your whole familiy!)
    Peter ... shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house shall be saved. Acts 11:13-14
  55. Believe and be baptized.
    He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved. -- Mark 16:16
  56. Just get baptized (you can keep the filth of the flesh).
    Baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh). -- 1 Peter 3:21
  57. Have a contrite spirit.
    The LORD ... saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. -- Psalm 34:18
  58. Have the Son of God.
    God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. -- 1 John 5:11-12
  59. Don't be deluded by God.
    God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned. -- 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
  60. Don't be blinded by God.
    Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded. ... God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear;) unto this day. ... Let their eyes be darkened, that they may not see. -- Romans 11:7-10
  61. Bear good fruit.
    Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. -- Matthew 7:19, Luke 3:9, 13:9
  62. Be grafted in.
    And they also, if they abide not still in unbelief, shall be graffed in: for God is able to graff them in again. -- Romans 11:23
  63. Be chosen, not just called.
    For many are called, but few are chosen. -- Matthew 22:14, 20:16
    God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation. -- 2 Thessalonians 2:13
  64. Be perfect.
    Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. -- Matthew 5:48
  65. Be meek.
    When God arose to judgment, to save all the meek of the earth. -- Psalm 76:9
    Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. -- Matthew 5:5
  66. Be washed by the Holy Ghost.
    Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost. -- Titus 3:5
  67. Get your sins remitted by someone who has received the Holy Ghost. (Or who has been breathed on by Jesus)
    And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost: Whosesoever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained. -- John 20:22-23
  68. Be pure in heart.
    Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. -- Matthew 5:8
  69. Be upright in heart.
    My defence is of God, which saveth the upright in heart. -- Psalm 7:10
  70. Be converted and become like a little child.
    Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:15
  71. Be a saint.
    The LORD ... forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever.. -- Psalm 37:28
  72. Be a child of the needy.
    He shall save the children of the needy. -- Psalm 72:4
  73. Be persecuted for righteousness sake.
    Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 5:10
  74. Be righteous.
    Righteousness delivereth from death. -- Proverbs 10:2, 11:4
    And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal. -- Matthew 25:46
  75. Be more righteous than the scribes and Pharisees.
    Except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 5:20
  76. Forsake all that you have.
    Whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple. -- Luke 14:33
  77. Hate your own life.
    The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12:25
  78. Lose your life.
    Whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it. -- Luke 17:33
  79. Lose your life for Christ's sake.
    For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. -- Matthew 10:39, 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, 17:33
  80. Belong to a household that has at least one believer.
    And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. -- Acts 16:31
    For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. -- 1 Corinthians 7:14
  81. Get saved by your spouse.
    For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? -- 1 Corinthians 7:16
  82. Follow the commandments (at least some of them).
    If you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. -- Matthew 19:17-19
    And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? ... Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. -- Mark 10:17-19
    Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life. -- Revelation 22:14
  83. Keep some of the commandments, give all your money to the poor, and follow Jesus.
    And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? ... Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother. And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up. ...thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.-- Luke 18:18-22
  84. Keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus.
    Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. -- Revelation 14:12
  85. Do the commandments and teach others to do them.
    Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 5:19
  86. Sow to the Spirit.
    He that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. -- Galatians 6:8
  87. Endure to the end.
    He that endureth to the end shall be saved. -- Matthew 10:22, 24:13, Mark 13:13
  88. Give diligence.
    Give diligence to make your calling and election sure. -- 2 Peter 1:10
  89. Wait until you die and then have the Mormons baptize you (after you're dead).
    Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead? -- 1 Corinthians 15:29
  90. Wait until you die and then hear the voice of the Son of God.
    The dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live. -- John 5:25
  91. Be faithful unto death.
    Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. -- Revelation 2:10
  92. Get buried with Jesus by being baptized into death.
    We are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection. -- Romans 6:4-5
  93. Always wear a wedding garment.
    And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. -- Matthew 22:11-13
  94. Don't get married. (Married people don't go to heaven.)
    They which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. -- Luke 20:35
  95. Have lots of babies (and be faithful, charitable, holy, and sober).
    And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. -- 1 Timothy 2:14-15
  96. Become a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
    There be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. -- Matthew 19:12
  97. Don't defile yourself with women. (Be a virgin male.)
    ...the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. -- Revelation 14:4
  98. Don't love your family more than Jesus.
    He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. -- Matthew 10:37
  99. Abandon your home and family for Jesus' name's sake.
    And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. -- Matthew 19:29, Mark 10:29-30, Luke 18:29-30
  100. Hate your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, and your own life.
    If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. -- Luke 14:26
  101. Don't hate your brother.
    Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. -- 1 John 3:15
  102. Ask your parents to beat you with a rod.
    Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14
  103. Receive a child in the name of Jesus.
    Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me. -- Luke 9:48a, Matthew 18:5
  104. Receive a Christian.
    He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. -- Matthew 10:40
  105. Receive a prophet in the name of a prophet.
    He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward. -- Matthew 10:41
  106. Receive a righteous man in the name of a righteous man.
    He that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. -- Matthew 10:41
  107. Receive the gift of eternal life from God through Jesus.
    The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. -- Romans 6:23
  108. Don't despise government or walk after flesh.
    The Lord knoweth how ... to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished: But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise government. -- 2 Peter 2:9-10
  109. Don't resist the powers that be.
    Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. -- Romans 13:2
  110. Mortify the deeds of your body.
    If ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. -- Romans 8:13
  111. Wash your wicked heart.
    Wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved. -- Jeremiah 4:14
  112. Wash your face and anoint your head when you fast.
    When thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; hat thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. -- Matthew 6:17-18
  113. Heed yourself and the doctrine.
    Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee. -- 1 Timothy 4:16
  114. Get saved by Jesus' name.
    Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name [beside's Jesus'] under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. -- Acts 4:12
  115. Get saved by God's name.
    Save me, O God, by thy name. -- Psalm 54:1
  116. Get saved by God's shining face.
    Turn us again, O God, and cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved. -- Psalm 80:3, 7, 19
  117. Get saved by the angel of his presence.
    The angel of his presence saved them. -- Isaiah 63:9
  118. Don't doubt.
    He that doubteth is damned. -- Romans 14:23
  119. Don't fall away after you're saved.
    For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance. -- Hebrews 6:4-6
  120. Don't eat your own vomit.
    For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. -- 2 Peter 2:21-22
  121. Don't blaspheme the Holy Ghost
    He that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation. -- Mark 3:29, Matthew 12:31-32, Luke 12:10
  122. Don't let God make you wicked.
    The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. -- Proverbs 16:4
  123. Be converted from the error of your ways.
    Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death. -- James 5:20
  124. Turn yourself over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh so your spirit may be saved. (For fornicators only.)
    It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you ... deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. -- 1 Corinthians 5:1-5

  125. Make friends with the mammon of unrighteousness.
    Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations. Luke 16:9

  126. Make a feast for the poor, maimed, lame, and blind.
    But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just. Luke 14:13-14:
  127. Enter at the strait gate.
    Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. -- Luke 13:23-24
  128. Enter through the Jesus door.
    I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved. -- John 10:9
  129. Return and Rest.
    In returning and rest shall ye be saved. -- Isaiah 30:15
  130. Don't look back.
    Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. -- Luke 9:62
  131. Become a truth-telling child of God.
    Surely they are my people, children that will not lie: so he was their Saviour. -- Isaiah 63:8

  132. Become an Israeli citizen.
    Israel shall be saved in the LORD with an everlasting salvation. -- Isaiah 45:17
    And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from Jacob. -- Romans 11:26

  133. Obtain mercy through Jewish unbelief.
    For as ye in times past have not believed God, yet have now obtained mercy through their [Jewish] unbelief. -- Romans 11:30
    God hath concluded them [the Jews] all in unbelief, that he might have mercy upon all. -- Romans 11:32

  134. Be an unbelieving Jew.
    Even so have these [Jews] also now not believed, that through your mercy they also may obtain mercy. -- Romans 11:31
  135. Don't be a Jew.
    But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. -- Matthew 8:12
  136. Don't be a serpent or a viper, and make sure none of your ancestors were prophet killers.
    Ye are the children of them which killed the prophets ... Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell? -- Matthew 23:31-33
  137. Don't be an unrighteous fornicator, idolater, adulterer, effeminate, thief, covetous, drunkard, reviler, extortioner, or an abuser of yourself with mankind.
    The unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. -- 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
  138. Don't be fearful, unbelieving, abominable, murdering, whore mongering, a sorcerer, an idolater, or a liar.
    The fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. -- Revelation 21:8
  139. Fear God.
    The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death. -- Proverbs 14:27
  140. Fear God and cry a lot while praying.
    [Jesus] who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared. -- Hebrews 5:7
  141. Don't let your eye become evil.
    But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! -- Matthew 6:23
  142. Pluck out your eye if it offends you.
    And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. -- Matthew 5:29-30, 18:8-9, Mark 9:43-49
  143. Cut off your right hand if it offends you.
    If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. -- Matthew 5:29-30, 18:8-9, Mark 9:43-49
  144. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
    Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. -- Matthew 6:4-5
  145. Be ordained to eternal life.
    As many as were ordained to eternal life believed. -- Acts 13:48
  146. Be drawn by by the Father.
    No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:44
  147. Be elected by God before you're born.
    For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth. -- Romans 9:11
    Knowing, brethren beloved, your election of God. -- 1 Thessalonians 1:4
  148. Don't be ashamed of Jesus.
    Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. -- Mark 8:38, Luke 9:26
  149. Don't let anyone see you do anything good.
    Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. -- Matthew 6:1
  150. Don't let anyone say anything nice about you.
    Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! -- Luke 6:26
  151. Don't love the world or the things in it.
    Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. -- 1 John 2:15
  152. Don't be a friend to the world.
    Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. -- James 4:4
  153. Be given by the Father and come to the Son.
    All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. -- John 6:37
  154. Come to the Father by Jesus.
    Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. -- John 14:6
  155. Be given by God to Jesus (or whatever).
    These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. -- John 17:1-2
  156. Be saved by Jesus' life (if you're a friend) or by his death (if your an enemy).
    For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. -- Romans 5:10
  157. Don't get circumcised.
    Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing ... ye are fallen from grace. -- Galatians 5:2-4
  158. Be dead in your sins and uncircumcised flesh, and then let God quicken you with Christ.
    But God ... when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ. -- Ephesians 2:4-5
  159. Be chosen from the beginning.
    But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation. -- 2 Thessalonians 2:13
    And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses. -- Colossians 2:13
  160. Be predestinated by God.
    For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate ... Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. -- Romans 8:29-30
    He hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love. Having predestinated us ... according to the good pleasure of his will. -- Ephesians 1:4-5

  161. Give your excess food and clothes to the poor.
    The people asked him [John the Baptist], saying, What shall we do then? He answereth ... He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise. Luke 3:10-11
  162. Be poor, not rich.
    He shall ... save the souls of the needy. -- Psalm 72:13
    Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. --Matthew 5:3
    Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. ... But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. -- Luke 6:20, 24
    Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. -- Matthew 19:23-24
    Ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. -- James 5:1
  163. Be poor in this world, be rich in faith, and love God.
    Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? -- James 2:5
  164. Be sad.
    Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. -- Matthew 5:4
  165. Cry a lot.
    Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them. -- Psalm 107:13, 19
    Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh. -- Luke 6:21
  166. Don't laugh.
    Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep. -- Luke 6:25
  167. Be last.
    But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. -- Matthew 19:30, 20:16; Mark 10:31; Luke 13:30
  168. Be least.
    He that is least among you all, the same shall be great. -- Luke 9:48b
  169. Eat the bread that comes down from heaven.
    This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die. -- John 6:50
  170. Eat Jesus' body and drink his blood.
    Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. -- John 6:53-54
  171. Have faith in Jesus' blood.
    God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood. -- Romans 3:25
  172. Be saved and justified by Jesus' blood.
    Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. -- Romans 5:9
  173. Make people revile you, persecute you, hate you, avoid you, say bad things about you, and call you names for Jesus' sake.
    Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. -- Matthew 5:11
    Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven. -- Luke 6:22-23
  174. Follow peace and holiness with all men.
    Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. -- Hebrews 12:14
  175. Take heaven by force.
    From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. Matthew 11:12
  176. Believe in the foolishness of preaching.
    For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. -- 1 Corinthians 1:21
  177. Be innocent.
    He [God] shall deliver the island of the innocent. -- Job 22:30
  178. Give alms to the poor. (May only work for Catholics.)
    Alms deliver from all sin, and from death, and will not suffer the soul to go into darkness. -- Tobit 4:11
  179. Give a cup of water to a Christian.
    For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. -- Matthew 10:42, Mark 9:41
  180. Love Christians.
    We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. -- 1 John 3:14
  181. Love your enemies, do good to them, and give them lots of money.
    But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. -- Luke 6:35, Matthew 5:44-45
  182. Love God and your neighbor.
    He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live. -- Luke 10:26-28
  183. Be a peacemaker.
    Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. -- Matthew 5:9
  184. Feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, take in strangers, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned.
    Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. -- Matthew 25:34-36

  185. Be merciful.
    Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. -- Matthew 5:7
    For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment. -- James 2:13
  186. Forgive people.
    For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14
  187. Don't judge.
    Judge not, and ye shall not be judged. -- Matthew 7:1, Luke 6:37
  188. Be humble.
    He [God] shall save the humble person. -- Job 22:29
    Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 7:1
    He that humbleth himself shall be exalted. -- Luke 14:11
  189. Love the truth.
    And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. -- 2 Thessalonians 2:10
  190. Do good. Avoid evil.
    Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore. -- Psalm 37:27
  191. Don't pray in public.
    And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. -- Matthew 6:5
  192. Be saved by other people's unbelief.
    (You can have some of mine; I've got plenty.)
    For as ye in times past have not believed God, yet have now obtained mercy through their unbelief. -- Romans 11:30
  193. Just ask.
    Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. -- Matthew 7:7-8
  194. All you need is love.
    Love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God. -- 1 John 4:7
    Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much. -- L:uke 7:47

God hath done these things: The Apocrypha to the Rescue!

Published
by
Steve Wells
on December 14, 2011
.

I've struggled a bit lately with the Book of Esther.

It is filled with preemptive war and genocidal ethnic cleansing, that the author clearly supported and glorified. But since the book makes no mention of God, directly or indirectly, it's difficult to blame God for the killings -- or claim that he inspired them, or even approved of them, for that matter. (Except in the sense that since God inspired the author of the Book of Esther, he approved of whatever the author approved.)

Which is why the apocrypha comes in so handy.

Here are the first words of the additions to the Book of Esther, as taken from the Catholic Douay-Reims version.

Then Mardochai said: God hath done these things.

The folks at DRBO.org add this helpful note to Esther 10:4.

[4] Then Mardochai: Here St. Jerome advertiseth the reader, that what follows is not in the Hebrew, but is found in the septuagint Greek edition, which the seventy-two interpreters translated out of the Hebrew, or added by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.

So we know that Esther 10:4 was added through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, and that therefore, God was responsible for the killings in the Book of Esther.
(See also 10:10, 12; 11:12; 13:8, 18, 14:1-2, 15:3, 5; 16:10-18, and 21)

Thank God for the Apocrypha!

For some time now, I have wanted to add the Apocrypha (or what Catholics call the Deutero-canonical books) to the SAB. I've finally started with the book of Esther.

As I go along, I'll add the apocryphal killings to the list of killings in the Catholic Bible. That way, I'll have two lists: one for the Protestants and one for the Catholics.

Happy Bo Day!

Published
by
Steve Wells
on December 8, 2011
.

Sorry for not posting lately, but I have a good excuse. I've spent the last couple weeks in Hawaii.

And here's what I have to show for it.

A Bo (or Bodhi) tree, the tree that the Buddha sat under when he achieved enlightenment.

Well, OK, it wasn't this tree that Buddha supposedly sat under on the eighth day of the 12th lunar month (December 8th this year, I guess) in 596 BCE while being tempted by Mara (the Buddhist version of Satan) and his daughters, before driving them all away with an earthquake. But it was a tree of this species: Ficus religiosa.
(The tree in my picture was taken at the Foster Botanical Garden in Honolulu.)

After getting enlightened, the Buddha stood in front of the sacred tree and stared, without blinking, for an entire week.

Me, I just took a picture.

Christ on a Dog’s Ass

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 20, 2011
.

Or it might be Muhammad (pb&jbuh). It's hard to tell those two apart.

Via Why Evolution is True

The Esther Killings: Do they belong on God’s list?

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 12, 2011
.

Esther is one of the two books in the Bible in which God is not even mentioned (the other is the Song of Solomon).

Maybe that's why some Bible believers, such as Martin Luther, believed that it should be excluded from the Bible. In Luther's case, however, it probably had more to do with his extreme antisemitism. Because the point of the Book of Esther, if it has a point, is this: God loves Jews more than everyone else and anyone who has ever had a bad thought about them should be killed. (And Luther had lots of bad thoughts about Jews.)

There is a whole series of killings in Esther, mostly to avenge antisemitism. But since the Book of Esther does not mention God's name, it's difficult to blame him directly for these killings. Still, since Esther is included in the Bible, the God of the Bible must approve of the killings, insofar as a nonexistent being can approve of anything.

The Book of Esther also has an important message for women: your job in life is to look pretty and to please, honor, and obey men. If that means dancing naked in front of your husband's drunken guests, dance naked. Be an Esther, not a Vashti. (Which is, of course, bad advice. Vashti is the hero of the Book of Esther and she gets my vote for the best person in the Bible.)

So what about the Esther killings? Do they belong on God's list? Let me know what you think in the comments.

Here's the story.

After the Esther wins the dancing-naked-before-the-king contest, she goes on a killing spree.

She begins by telling the king to hang two men that her friend (Mordecai) said wanted to kill the king.

Two of the king's chamberlains ... sought to lay hands on the king Ahasuerus. And the thing was known to Mordecai, who told it unto Esther the queen; and Esther certified the king ... And when inquisition was made of the matter, it was found out; therefore they were both hanged on a tree. Esther 2:21-23

Then, for some strange reason, the king told everyone in the kingdom to bow and show reverence to a guy named Haman.

All the king's servants ... bowed, and reverenced Haman: for the king had so commanded. Esther 3:2a

But Esther's Jewish friend Mordecai refused.

But Mordecai bowed not, nor did him reverence. Esther 3:2b

So Haman, did what any proper Bible villain would do: he tried to kill every Jew in the kingdom.

When Haman saw that Mordecai bowed not, nor did him reverence, then was Haman full of wrath ... Wherefore Haman sought to destroy all the Jews that were throughout the whole kingdom. Esther 3:5-6

Haman offered to give the king 10,000 talents (~300,000 kg) of silver if he would kill all the Jews. And the king said, "OK, that sounds like a good idea. Let's kill all the Jews."

Haman said unto king Ahasuerus ... let it be written that they may be destroyed: and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver.

And the king took his ring from his hand, and gave it unto Haman ... the Jews' enemy.

And the king said unto Haman, The silver is given to thee, the people also, to do with them as it seemeth good to thee. Esther 3:8-10

The king sent out a decree to all the provinces declaring a kingdom-wide Kill-the-Jews day. It was to take place on the 13th day of the 12th month. "All Jews, both young and old, little children and women" were to be killed on that day.

Letters were sent by posts into all the king's provinces, to destroy, to kill, and to cause to perish, all Jews, both young and old, little children and women, in one day, even upon the thirteenth day of the twelfth month. Esther 3:13

Haman, at his wife and friends' suggestion, decides to begin by building a 25 meter tall gallows to hang Mordecai on.

Then said Zeresh his wife and all his friends unto him, Let a gallows be made of fifty cubits high, and to morrow speak thou unto the king that Mordecai may be hanged thereon ... And the thing pleased Haman; and he caused the gallows to be made. Esther 5:14

Meanwhile, at one of the king's drunken parties, the king told Esther that he'd give her whatever she wanted, up to half the kingdom.

So the king and Haman came to banquet with Esther the queen. And the king said again unto Esther on the second day at the banquet of wine ... what is thy request? and it shall be performed, even to the half of the kingdom. Esther 7:1-3

Esther asks the king not to murder all the Jews. And the king says, "Huh? Who is trying to kill the Jews?" (The king had completely forgotten that he had ordered the genocide of the Jews back in chapter 3.)

The king ... said unto Esther ... Who is he, and where is he, that durst presume in his heart to do so? And Esther said, The adversary and enemy is this wicked Haman. Esther 7:5-6

So the king hangs Haman high.

So they hanged Haman on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai. Then was the king's wrath pacified. Esther 7:10

After hanging Haman at Esther's request, the king gave Esther (and her buddy Mordecai) Haman's ring and house.

The king took off his ring, which he had taken from Haman, and gave it unto Mordecai. And Esther set Mordecai over the house of Haman.

I have given Esther the house of Haman, and him they have hanged upon the gallows, because he laid his hand upon the Jews. Esther 8:1-7

Then, at Esther's request, the king ordered a preemptive strike on all 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned to kill Jews will be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place on a single day -- the day after the first decree ordered all the Jews to be killed. (How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn't? Were they supposed to just kill everyone and let God sort it out? And why did they need to kill the women and children?)

"Mordecai commanded ... the deputies and rulers of the provinces which are from India unto Ethiopia, an hundred twenty and seven provinces ... to destroy, to slay and to cause to perish, all the power of the people and province that would assault them, both little ones and women.

Upon one day in all the provinces ... the Jews should be ready against that day to avenge themselves on their enemies. Esther 8:9-13

On the day when all Jew-haters (and their families) were killed by Jews, "the Jews had light, and gladness, and joy, and honour ... a feast and a good day." (Esther 8:16-17a)

But many of the Jew-haters became Jews rather than be killed for wanting to kill Jews.

Many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell upon them. Esther 8:17b

So the Jews kill everyone who ever had a bad thought toward them, along with their Jew-hating families.

The Jews had rule over them that hated them. The Jews gathered themselves together in their cities throughout all the provinces ... to lay hand on such as sought their hurt: and no man could withstand them; for the fear of them fell upon all people.
...
The Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them. Esther 9:1-5

They killed 500 men in Shushan.

In Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men. Esther 9:6

They killed the ten sons of Haman.

The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews, slew they. Esther 9:10

Esther asks the king to kill all those who planned to kill the Jews and hang the already dead bodies of Haman's ten sons on trees.

The king said unto Esther the queen, The Jews have slain and destroyed five hundred men in Shushan the palace, and the ten sons of Haman ... what is thy request further? ... Then said Esther ... let it be granted to the Jews which are in Shushan to do to morrow also according unto this day's decree, and let Haman's ten sons be hanged.
...
And they hanged Haman's ten sons. Esther 9:12-13

Then the Jews killed another 300 men at Shushan,

The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan. Esther 9:15

And 75,000 other Jew-haters.

The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand. Esther 9:16

The day after killing all the Jew-haters and their families, the Jews took a day off to party. (This is the origin of the Jewish holiday of Purim.)

On the fourteenth day of the same rested they, and made it a day of feasting and gladness. Esther 9:17

And then, at Esther's request, the king hung Haman and his ten sons (again).

When Esther came before the king, he commanded ... that he [Haman] and his sons should be hanged on the gallows. Esther 9:25

After the killings, "Modecai the Jew was ... great among the Jews ... seeking the wealth of" the Jews. And so ends the Book of Esther.

Here is a list of the Esther killings:

People killed Number Esther verse
The two treasonous chamberlains 2 2:21-23
Haman 1 7:10
Men in Sushan 500 9:6
Haman's sons 10 9:12-13
More men in Sushan 300 9:15
People who planned to kill Jews on kill-the-Jews day 75,000 9:16
Total 75,813
December 14 note: See God hath done these things: The Apocrypha to the Rescue! for the happy resolution to this problem.

Eid al-Adha

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 6, 2011
.

Today is Eid al-Adha. You know, the day where you're supposed to kill an animal for God in honor of Abraham's willingness to kill his son.

Hundreds of millions of animals throughout the world will have their throats slit today just to make Allah happy.

It is amazing how much evil can be caused by an imaginary God.

It’s definitely Muhammad (peanut butter and jelly be upon him)Who else would hang out in a testicular tumor?

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 3, 2011
.

Science & Religion: Are They Compatible?The Jerry Coyne / John Haught Debate

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 3, 2011
.

You simply must watch this debate. No excuses.

Okay, Okay. I know it's kind of long, and you're a busy person. So go ahead and skip the first 28 and half minutes. You won't miss much.

2011 Bale Boone Symposium - Science & Religion: Are They Compatible? from UK Gaines Center on Vimeo.

For more on the debate controversy, see Jerry Coyne's blog.

The National Guard wants you (If you’re a Protestant, Bible-believing Christian)

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 1, 2011
.

Otherwise, not so much.

Mitt Romney: The luckiest motherfudger on earth

Published
by
Steve Wells
on November 1, 2011
.

Saving the Seed of Cain from the Flood of Noah

Published
by
Steve Wells
on October 28, 2011
.

In my last post I described how Mormon Scripture explains the origin of black people. (They are the seed of Cain.)

Which is all very interesting. But if you are foolish enough to accept that racist explanation, you still have a problem. How did the seed of Cain survive Noah's flood?

Well, lucky for you, my racist friend, Mormon Scripture has the answer!

You've probably seen the pictures of Noah's family. They look a lot like this.

A nice, happy, white family. But if they were all white, where'd all the black people come from?

And that's where the Book of Abraham comes in.

Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably never heard of the Book of Abraham. It's not in that little blue book that the Mormon missionaries gave you (and that you've never looked at since). And Mormons don't like to talk about it much because it's horribly embarrassing to them. But it's in the Pearl of Great Price and is, therefore, a part of Mormon Scripture.

In it we learn that Pharaoh was descended from the testicles of Ham.

Pharaoh ... was a descendant from the loins of Ham, and was ... of the blood of the Canaanites by birth ... thus the blood of the Canaanites was preserved in the land. Abraham 1:20-22

(Ham was the guy who saw his father, Noah, drunk and naked in Genesis 9:20-25. For this crime, God cursed the descendants of Canaan, Ham's son, with slavery.)

Abe also tells us that Egypt was discovered (while it was still under water from the flood) by one of Ham's daughters, Egyptus. (She was named after her mother, Ham's wife, who was also named Egyptus, and who was, apparently, a black woman.)

The land of Egypt being first discovered by a woman, who was the daughter of Ham, and the daughter of Egyptus which in the Chaldean signifies Egypt, which signifies that which is forbidden. When this woman discovered the land it was under water, who afterward settled her sons in it; and thus, from Ham, sprang that race which preserved the curse in the land. Abraham 1:23-24

So Pharaoh was the son of Egyptus, who was the daughter of Ham and his wife Egyptyus, from "that race which preserved the curse in the land."

According to Mormon Scripture, then, black people are doubly cursed: they are the seed of Cain and the seed of Ham. Cursed by God for Cain's murder of Abel and cursed again because Ham saw his father (Noah) drunk and naked.

God darkened their skin and made them slaves, but that wasn't the worst of it. He also excluded them from the Mormon priesthood.

Pharaoh, the eldest son of Egyptus, the daughter of Ham ... Noah ... cursed him as pertaining to the Priesthood ... Pharaoh being of that lineage by which he could not have the right of Priesthood. Abraham 1:26-27

Until he changed his mind in 1978.

The mark of (Herman) Cain: What Mitt Romney believes about black people

Published
by
Steve Wells
on October 27, 2011
.

It starts with the book of Genesis.

Remember the story about Adam and Eve, and Cain and Abel? (Genesis 4:1-17)

Adam and Eve have sex, Eve gets pregnant, and Cain ("a man from the Lord") is born.

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. Genesis 4:1

In the next verse, another son (Abel) is born.

And she again bare his brother Abel. Genesis 4:2a

Cain becomes a farmer, Abel tends sheep, and each offers a sacrifice to God. Cain gave God the fruit of his crops; Abel killed some firstborn sheep and gave God all the fat. God liked the fat more than the fruit. (How could they tell? Did God eat the fat while they watched?)

Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD ... Abel ... the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. Genesis 4:2b-5a

That made Cain mad and sad. So he talked things over with his little brother, Abel.

Then he killed him.

And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
...
Cain talked with Abel his brother ... and slew him. Genesis 4:4b-8

God dropped by and asked Cain where his brother was. Cain said, "I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper?"

And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper? Genesis 4:9

God cursed Cain for killing Abel, making him a fugitive and vagabond.

Now art thou cursed ... a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth. Genesis 4:11-12

Cain told God that he was worried about people killing him, so God put a mark on Cain warning people not to kill him or vengeance would be taken on them seven times. (What were God and Cain worried about? There were only two other people alive at the time -- Cain's parents.)

Cain said unto the LORD ... every one that findeth me shall slay me. And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him. Genesis 4:13-15

Then Cain went off east of Eden in the land of Nod, got married, raised a family, built a city, and did all the things you'd expect a fugitive and vagabond to do on a planet with a total population of 3.

And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. Genesis 4:16-17

But what was the mark that God put on Cain? Was it a sign on his forehead saying, "I killed my brother, but don't kill me or God will kill you seven times"? The Bible doesn't say.

Lucky for us and Mitt Romney, Mormon Scripture does! (More or less, anyway.)

There are four books in Mormon Scripture: The Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. And one of the books in the Pearl of Great Price is the Book of Moses.

Here's what Moses had to say about the seed of Cain.

And Enoch also beheld the residue of the people which were the sons of Adam; and they were a mixture of all the seed of Adam save it was the seed of Cain, for the seed of Cain were black, and had not place among them. Moses 7:22

So Mormon scripture says that the seed of Cain are black and God put a mark on Cain. Someone should ask Mitt Romney if the two things are one and the same.

Maybe it should be (Herman) Cain.