As per my latest attempt to adopt a polyphasic sleep schedule (more specifically, a dymaxion sleep schedule), I've had some mild success.  I've been getting about four hours of sleep for every 24 hour period--which is not the desired two hour total amount of sleep, but I think I'm getting there.  Being on the computer, doing research on novel writing or some other such thing usually helps.  I've been having a lot of ideas for stories, and I'm attempting to stay focused on one at a time.  This is one driving factor behind staying awake:  finishing my novel.

Unfortunately, another thing that's been helping to keep me awake is nightmares.  If I sleep for longer than I should, I usually end up having a nightmare.  It's been like this for as long as I can remember.  Before starting a polyphasic sleep schedule, I'd have nightmares too frequently to ever enjoy sleeping--this became much worse when I got to college.  A little over a year ago, I tried seeing a psychologist at school, but they began to outsource their services to psychologists in the area, and I just didn't have the money for that.  I've recently attempted, yet again, to reach out to Psychological Services, telling them that I don't have insurance and cannot afford an outside psychologist, but I have received no answer.  I will try calling them again.  I fear that these problems will only compound if I do not talk to a professional about what I've been feeling and what I've been going through--and I think I have a sneaking suspicion of what it is...

Also, although I still watch documentaries with some frequency, I have taken a break from the news for a while.  Right now, all I'd like to focus on is getting a lot of fiction and nonfiction reading done, planning my class schedule for the next Fall semester, and writing.  I'm reading Yevgeny Zamyatin's We.  I am really enjoying it.  I'm struck by how well Zamyatin created a familiar, but different, language of the future.  And I'm hoping that with more practice, I'll be able to compete with minds like his.  I know I am not alone in this.

In any case, for now, writing, reading, and watching good anime is going to have to serve as my therapy until someone at school will see me.  Keeping some kind of a consistent schedule going will be a good help, in addition to making sure that I don't feel as though I'm not honing my writing skills.  I'm still feeling hopeful.

Just like Glenn Beck said they would, the Tea Partiers have managed to get one of their guys in office--in Massachusetts.  I have not yet been able to find out if Scott Brown is himself a Tea Partier, or if he is merely a Tea Party sympathizer.  Either way, the fact that they endorse him is bad enough.  With far less money earned and spent, Brown somehow managed to convince Massachusetts that he had their best interests at heart.  The hand voting results for Massachusetts favor Coakley 51.12% to Brown's 47.77%.  The Diebold counted votes just about mirror the hand counted votes in favor of Brown, and there are more machine voting locations than hand counting locations.  Some of those commenting on that Black Box Voting article say that it is difficult to determine if the difference in hand counted votes versus machine counted votes is because of the possibility of a more liberal western Massachusetts as opposed to a possibly more conservative eastern Massachusetts.  Either way, I think Coakley did herself and her supporters a great disservice by conceding.

Clinton and Bush got together in a robotic performance both on stage with Obama and then on television to urge people to send money to the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund.  Bush, as terse as always says, "Just send your cash." 

Now, I think it's obviously a good thing that the current and former presidents are getting together to call for a sustained effort in Haiti--this will bring more attention to the relief effort and to the horrendous conditions in which too many people are living, but why are people being discouraged from sending water, blankets, and other tangible items?  Why are people being urged to simply "send cash?"  The Clinton Foundation claims that "one hundred percent of your donation will be used for Haiti relief efforts," and Bush's charity says that 99% of the money they receive will go to Haiti relief efforts.  If we are to assume that this is true, then when, exactly, do they plan on getting this money to Haiti?  People are dying now, people are thirsty now, people are hungry and scared now.  How is this money going to help anyone in the short term?

The answer?

It won't.

The American Red Cross--just one organization--has already raised about $12,000,000 since the earthquake tore through Haiti, and yet people are still dying in the streets; people are still hungry and thirsty, people are still suffering from the collapse of buildings, from the heat, and from anguish.  And people in the areas surrounding Port au Prince are being completely ignored.  But go ahead, just send your cash and they'll be sure to save tons of lives.

I'm a target market.  I accept that.  People expend a great deal of money and time trying to attract buyers in my demographic for any number of things that they are trying to convince me that I need.  But that doesn't mean I have to buy into it.  And aside from books (which are available at the neighborhood and college library), there really isn't much that I need aside from the basics.

I do a majority of my shopping online--this includes clothes shopping.  So while I'm perusing the internet catalogs looking to replace my tattered rags, I often come out empty cart-ed.  In the end, although I have far fewer clothing items than most of the people I know, I just don't find it worth it to spend money on something that I'm not ecstatic about wearing.  Unless I'm absolutely in love with some item of clothing for one reason or another, I'm not buying it.  I end up buying books and just forgetting about the whole enterprise altogether.

So, I recently began to wonder why that happens with such regularity.  I enjoy fashion.  I enjoy wearing clothes in vibrant colors, and experimenting with a number of different looks.  So why don't I just fork up the dough and call it a day?  Well, I realized that although I enjoy fashion, I'm not particularly fond of the fashion trends of today.  What I desperately need is a Polymath Clothing Store, where I can explore a vast variety of clothing options that don't include ironic/moronic statements on cheap t-shirts, or pocketbooks made of yarn for that (never convincing) DIY look.

Then I remembered, that as a young lass, I often made clothes for my dolls, and crocheted simple little items just for the hell of it.  Why in the world did I stop?  If I had kept at it, I bet I could be a pretty damn good seamstress at this point.

And so...

I made a pledge that by 2011, I want to be making a majority of my clothes.  Panties, bras, and shoes are things that I'll leave to the mega-corporations or the independent stores just for the sake of maintaining sanity, but other than that, I don't see why I shouldn't embark on my own personal fashion line.  I have also pledged that if I do decide to buy clothing, I will only buy clothing from thrift stores--and adjust it as I see fit.

Obviously, in order to embark upon this one among many of my life's prospective journeys, I'm going to need adequate supplies.  I have been searching the internet far and wide for affordable supplies.  The most expensive item I will have to purchase is a sewing machine.  It's entirely possible for me to sew by hand, but that would take ages considering the clothing that I've been fantasizing about.  The following is a preliminary list of things for which I am going to have to keep an eye out:

• Sewing machine
• Fabric of various sorts
• Sewing Table
• Sewing and yarn needles
• Yarn
• Crochet needles of various sizes
• Knitting needles of various sizes
• Dress form (to be purchased in the distant future)
• Caddies for storage
• Patterns
• Buttons
• Embroidery machine (to be purchased in the distant future)

Doing my own kinky twist extensions has opened and reopened a whole world of DIY possibilities.

ME: As a woman atheist, I find it a little disturbing that your google ads
feature a busty white woman in a tiny cop suit as a means of getting
attention. How is the objectification of women okay for the fight against
irrationality? This cheap means of advertising also excludes women and
non-white atheists from rational discourse, since its target audience is
clearly young white men. There must be another way to get your message out
there.

RRS: I run about 15 different ads. The one you're objecting to is clicked 10 times more frequently, this includes clicks from women. We pay per impression, not clicks, so the most rational thing to do is run the ad you object to more often. If we had the budget of the Vatican things would be different.

ME: Simply because women are included in the people who click the ad doesn't mean it's not sexist. The ends don't justify the means, and as a black woman atheist, I'm offended.

RRS: Be offended at humanity, as I am. Don't misdirect your frustration, you do so by directing your frustration at us.

ME: My anger does indeed also rest with the ills of humanity, but I have a very good reason to be frustrated with your organization and organizations like yours who would propagate the ills of humanity to suit your own ends. I think doing so does your organization a disservice. Sexism is a huge problem with many of the world's major religions, and to shrug off sexism as a necessity in the fight against irrationality seems to be counterproductive. I suppose you also misdirect your frustrations with Christian apologists and Intelligent Design proponents when you attack them and their followers for misrepresenting science and their own doctrines in order to suit their own ends? I suppose the best thing to do would be to shut down the Rational Response Squad and say, "What the hell--we can't possibly win the fight against irrationality, and that's that."

But you won't do that. You won't shrug off the hurtful mythology of some religions, because their ideas can be dangerous for scientific discovery, politics, public education, and people's lives. Your fight is important--you recognize that. But then you would denigrate or downplay the fights of others for the sake of convenience. I find this irresponsible.

RRS: Honestly I find it disgusting that one would assume that an ad is sexist simply because it portrays an attractive woman. Such thinking to me is irrational, illogical, and downright stupid. I thought you should know.

At what point in fighting for women to be accepted or being treated equally did you despise attractive women being models?

Your argument needs to be taken up with any man that would derive a lower opinion of women as a result of the ads, not the people running the ads.

This conversation will not go anywhere from here. We've had this argument dozens of times. We've ended up feeling that people arguing cases like yours are just as irrational as the religious people we seek to save from their beliefs.

So be offended... we are of you.


1. The action or an act of objectifying something; a material thing which embodies or expresses an abstract idea, principle, etc.


2. spec. The demotion or degrading of a person or class of people (esp. women) to the status of a mere object (see OBJECTIFY v. 2); reification; (also) behaviour or an attitude characterized by this.
sexual objectification: the regarding of a person or class of people (esp. women) only as a sex object.

Hello?  Is this not what they are doing when their most prominent ad is one of a woman with her boobs hanging out and her skirt hiked up?  Not to mention, they didn't even try to counter my points on the exclusion of non-whites.  Go ahead.  Go to their site.  Check out all of their banners and ads.  All of the ads that feature people--are of white people.  These people would presume to be the saviors of rationality?  While they become irrationally angry with me for pointing out something that I think is pretty damn obvious?

One of their ads features a woman in camouflage holding up a badge, and looking straight into the camera--fully clothed.  This woman is presumably also attractive, so why not show that ad a bunch of times all over the internet? 


Did I attack any of them personally?  No.  I expressed frustration at their tactics, while also telling them that I realize their cause is important.  Rationality is extremely important, but one must also have principles.

I get tired of watching YouTube videos of Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, crossing my fingers, hoping that at some point they will begin to revise their arguments against Creationists/Christians who ask questions like, "How can you have a strict moral code as an atheist?" or "How can you restrict the science classroom by telling teachers they can't at least offer intelligent design as an alternative to natural selection?"  Please excuse me while I take some time out to slowly move my cupped fist over my large, imaginary phallus.

The only decent, non-scripted, unrehearsed debate concerning intelligent design versus evolution is one that took place over ten years ago at Seton Hall.  The video is provided below.

Of course, because this debate is about science and not morality, those kinds of questions do not get asked. Although towards the end (if I remember correctly) Buckley basically says that he isn't convinced by the evidence behind the theory of evolution because he doesn't like the idea.  Seriously.  That's what he said.

The only debates I've seen since that point have been focused on big-headed rabble rousers giving the same answers to the same questions.  Yeah, yeah.  "You know what they say about the definition of insanity," etc.  They seem to believe that if you appeal to a person's logical sensibilities, then that person has no choice, but to start seeing things from your point of view.  This is CLEARLY not the case.  There are tons of intelligent, religious people who think kids should be singing christmas carols in schools and that the Gap has no right to mention non-believers in their commercials.  It's about emotions, and because prominent atheists have already indulged in the drama component of the believer/non-believer divide, then they need to be dismissed, in my opinion.  Once you offend people, they stop listening.  Obviously.

This is not to suggest, however, that I also do not feel a great sense of rage when believers deign to tell me what I can do with my vagina, but engaging in the rage game gets nobody nowhere fast.  (Double negatives intended.)

Also, I would really love if young, influential progressives such as The Young Turks would be a little more outspoken about their agnosticism or atheism.  Just say it!  Just tell people you're a goddamn heathen!  But "the young people" that matter probably haven't even figured out that they are atheists, and would most likely not be willing to discuss such things for fear of ostracism.

...To which I say:  Fuck that!

I'm going to include myself, Ursula the Polymath, in that list of young, cantankerous atheists who are sick and tired of being told to just shut up and say "Merry Christmas."  In the upcoming days, weeks, months, and for eternity, I will be posting links, videos, and analysis of debates involving evolution and atheism--in addition to providing you with my first-hand account of my polyphasic sleep experiment, independent learning, and a section I am currently working on called "Polymath Required Reading."  (You can also take a look at the Budding Polymath Show for some videos about my sleep experiment.)

Don't coddle your delusions!  Open your mind, instead.

A combination of persistent poverty, attempting to adjust to a polyphasic sleep schedule, and the holidays do not bode well for trying to stay healthy and get a decent amount of exercise.  In my video titled, "Polymath's Dymaxion Sleep Schedule Experiment:  Cycle 4," I had temporarily managed to keep my sleep schedule consistent for one 24 hour period of time.  But with going back and forth between the Boyfriend's parents' house, and our apartment, I just haven't had the kind of consistency needed for the adjustment.  Right now, I'm back to a de facto Everyman Sleep Schedule.  I've been working on this now for at least a couple of weeks, and it's not getting easier with all of the mistakes I've been making.  I need some kind of a regular schedule where I can just be alone and do what it is I need to do.

I started trying to get healthier this passed summer, and it was working, but all of my effort is going down the drain with all the goddamn food that people want me to eat all the time.  That's one of the problems with being a young adult surrounded by older people, is that they always seem to think you're starving to death--when I clearly am not. 

No, I don't want that fiftieth helping of mashed potatoes!  No, thank you, I don't want any more chocolates, or muffins, or biscuits, or cakes, or pies, or cookies, or pig lard!  And you just can't say these things loud enough.  I don't even like sweets anymore, but these days it's like they're the only thing to eat.  The only breakfast carbohydrates available are in the form of danishes or cupcakes.  This Binge Fest people call the holiday season is probably one of the most infuriating times of the year for me.  And I love food!  Don't get me wrong.  But I really start to hate it when eating it is the only goddamn thing I seem to be doing with my time.  And being uncomfortably full makes it that much more difficult to wake up when I need to.

Not to mention, I've been worried about getting some exercise in when I'm adjusting to the dymaxion sleep schedule because I'm worried that working out before adapting means not waking up on time.  But at this rate, it's not going to make any difference.  The longer I wait to adjust, the more time I have to sit around and get fat, and it's driving me crazy.

When my sister got married, and I got a look at the pictures of myself, I had to face the facts:  I'm overweight.  I'm not fat, and I'm certainly not obese, but I'm getting up there.  My shirts don't fit me as well as they used to, and I only have on pair of jeans that hasn't ripped.  But being broke means I don't have the money to replace any of it.  And having to buy jeans that are one or two sizes bigger than what I wore a couple years ago is going to tear at my soul.

The Boyfriend's metabolism just burns up everything he touches--it's ridiculous.  And with all the eating we've been doing, even he has managed to put on some weight.  I can only imagine how much weight I've probably put on this week. 

Blagh!

I just want to feel the way I used to feel.  This weight just isn't comfortable for me at all.  I can't run very fast anymore--or very far, and these days I almost don't want to try.  I was going to the school gym in the mornings, but now that I've dropped the semester, I'm not sure if I still can.  I would like my early to mid-twenties NOT to be characterized by wanting to lose weight and feeling uncomfortable.  And it has to stop now.