I don't believe because I enjoy living in reality.

I also enjoy the company of others who have made the choice to live in reality. They are far more free to think, have ideas, and embrace change.

Like every other major change in my life, when I seriously considered the possibility that there might not be a god, I made a few pro and con lists. This included one comparing theists to atheists. (at the time I made the list I believed there was a god). Unfortunately Atheist came out as more emotionally stable people. I'm not calling it black and white, my mom AND in-laws are happy Christians, but over all atheist scored higher in areas I was seriously struggling.

Most of all I wanted to be happy, and I couldn't as long as I was going to receive nothing but circular reasoning. That shit drives me crazy. CRAZY crazy. Christianity, for me, was like taking a bad birth control pill. My boss is taking some that expired YEARS ago and all of the sudden she is making no sense at all and appears to be powered only by emotion. It's creepy to watch when she used to be so calm and reasonable. It reminds me of how I felt as a Christian.

When God is the answer, it is much easier to bottle emotions up and not deal with them. I mean, get in a trance and feel a magic release, but it really doesn't leave until you learn what you need to from it. At least not for me. I don't know that I'm right at all, but I feel like I'm making a good guess here.

Sure, not all Christians are emotionally retarded, but I most definitely was, and a whole lot of other people around me were, too. Many church members seemed to have temporary and sharp feelings of bliss, but 98% of the time it's depression, just waiting for an answer from god instead of thinking and figuring things out for yourself. I even faked all that Christian joy, because in order to spread the word of God it's important that you appear to be happy.

Then I lied about feeling happy for many years so that I wouldn't be a bad Christian. What if you were the only Christian a person ever met and you were sad around them too often? That person might not be as open to hearing the word of God.

Raise your hands and say it with me now, "When we all raise our hands and sway back and forth with our eyes shut it puts us in a suggestive state."

This applies to every religion. They all do it. First you sing or dance, then you sit down to hear someone talk, then you sing again. How about instead of telling people what to think we start teaching people how to think for themselves?

Shit, every time I make a good point I remember a Bible verse that wins against my point. The bible sure did take care of the nasty problem of people who have other ideas about life. The Bible says they are fools, so they must be fools! It reminds me of Lisa Simpson in the creationism class, when Ralph said, "Now Lisa's the new Ralph" The smart person is the fool, and that is all I needed to hear years ago to think there's probably a better life out there for me. Far, far away from the people who call me a fool for doing what it takes to find happiness.

Oh, yeah, the list goes on. What with the lack of proof, etc. Whatever. Observing the people around me was enough to help me make the leap. The science education is just more cake on the cake.

Here's something we can agree on

Why why why why why would anyone ever say, "there is this thing called '___[insert anything here]____' that you are ignorant of, and I forbid you to educate yourself on the matter. Here is a tree that grows this knowledge just in case you're the rule-breaker I made you to be."

Seriously, was God not sure if they would choose ignorance over information? Is it possible that he could create a being that could be self-aware, but desire to do nothing about it?

Here I am happy and safe. God tells me that if I break a rule, I will learn about something new, but I will be punished. My first thought is, "what is it like to be punished?"

How do I, as a human being, learn?

The only conclusion I can come to here is that God doesn't know what he's doing. Or maybe it was the man who created God that didn't understand what he was talking about. I gotta go with occam's raisins on this one. Either way, I look good, so whatever.

Pay no attention to the babbling woman. She's just trying to be a scientist. Isn't that cute?

I've thought about it more. Like, neither of my parents were in to crafting like I am, but my grandparents were. Neither of my grandparents have ever been able to draw well, but my dad was an outstanding clone artist, like I sort of can be sometimes (by accident). I can sing well, but my voice is sort of boring and makes people sleep, just like everyone else who can sing in my family.

It makes my skin crawl when people (like it's just people in general? no, I'm talking about my family. They can't read stuff this tiny, though) talk about something I'm good at and say, "She gets that from her _[blah blah blah]_." Basically they are saying, and sometimes put it this bluntly, "I didn't get that gene, so I can't do that."

Whaaaaa? It is very clear to me why I like the things I do. I like crafting more than any other thing I do. More than photography. My earliest experience with happiness revolved around crafting. It was the week or two (or three, if I could convince my parents) in the summer I spent with my grandparents. Away from my father. My grandparents spent all of their spare time making art together. My grandpa is a carpenter and my grandpa paints the things he makes. Most often with the cheesy stuff your grandma buys at the local bazaar. The holiday stuff. Oh, but I didn't understand what kind of art it was, I was just having a blast making a mess and being allowed to touch things I usually didn't get to touch. I still have the first painting I made on a wooden gingerbread man. I know for certain that my grandma helped me.

This is something my grandparents made for me to keep my rings in when I was five. I had so much bling. Now it's where I keep my drug blunts. Just kidding that's not where I keep my drug blunts. The people that I felt most secure around where my family members, and I was happiest crafting with my grandparents, and I've found happiness through creativity ever since. Nature vs. Nurture: one point to nurture here.

Let's try again. How about singing? Is it genetic that I sing like my family members? Or is it because I heard them sing more often than I heard anyone else (not counting Bert and Ernie)? I learned how to sing from them. So I sing like them. End of story, jerk. Two points nurture. One point nature for affecting hearing and the shape of your throat or belly or whatever you sing out of. Vocal boards? That doesn't sound right.

As far as the identical twins having the same jobs and marrying men with the same name when they've never met... A point my husband threw at me when I was on my nurture rant. I think I'm ready to take a stab at it from my point of view. I'm not educated as well as I should be to be making guesses, so if it sounds nice don't automatically believe it, please.

It's obvious that physical traits are passed down from generation to generation, but I don't think that means that our desires are passed down in any other way than we have similar bodies. So my hands are like the hands in my family, and my eyes are, as well. I have a steady hand and I'm a spatial genius. (I informed my husband after testing that I only test above genius-level in one of the six or whatever categories, "I'm a spat-ial genius." I scored very low in Words or whatever it was called.)

Nature vs. Nuture fight: over. The two work very well together. We like to do what we're good at, and we do those things around little humans we made in our image. They see us doing it during the time they are learning what it means to be a human, so they do it, too. However, just because they have the body for it does not mean they will have the desire for it. These two identical twins figured out something they were able to do, and they enjoyed doing it because they weren't raised by anyone who restricted them from doing what they excelled at, something parents see in a child (yes, even an adopted one) and encourage early on so that they can say their child is better. Sometimes because they are loving parents doing it for the right reason. Sometimes. My entire point after all this is just that there isn't a desire gene being passed down. Natural ability means my body is better suited for this than your body, not that my brain possesses something magical that yours doesn't.

Marrying men with similar names, or the same name, is nothing more than coincidence. And there is still no creativity gene to be found. Join me later for part three when I try to figure why this ever irritated me in the first place. Oh yeah, that whole god thing. By now I hope I've at least made a good point against any ability being a magic gift from a god.

Can I say again that I can only speak from my experiences? I think that should be made clear, if it isn't already. Like, when I start yelling at some imaginary Christian, I usually have a Christian in mind. I've met thousands of them. I was surrounded by them for 19 years. Most of those being the typical person's observing years, when we rely on other people to teach us what it is to be human. Childhood. :o(

Sometimes I wish I had been given a choice, and then other times I'm glad to have had the experiences. As time passes I'm more likely to say I'm glad for the lesson I learned. I don't mean to yell at strangers, but this is meant to be a place to observe my reaction, for those who never left their observing years. We can still learn about ourselves by observing others, there is no cut-off age. IM HAPPEH 2 GIV BAK 2 TEH INTERNETS WUT THEY GAEV 2 ME. Sorry for that last part :o(

I hope the freedoms of the internet remain. You can get a better art education on the internet than in most public schools. I don't actually know if that's true, but it sure sounds right. I went to public school and I was taught a from a lesson plan. On the internet I can pick something that interests me and learn everything about it and see pictures of it done the right way. I learned how to make fake dred locks that look real on the internet. First of all, I found perfectly detailed tutorials with every piece of information you need, updated regularly with a comments section for strangers ideas. THEN! and this is the best part, I joined a community on livejournal where people posted their creations and I could see all the different ways hundreds of people have been creative using the basic rules. OMG I learned the process and was overstimulated with ideas all for free. Beat that, Painting 101.

I do have to give it up to high school for the awesome ceramics class I got to take and retake for three years just to throw clay on a wheel. You can't do that on the internet... Er, I guess you can if you can afford the equipment. Yay for youtube. High school still has a chance to win, though. I got to take the jewelry class and work on equipment that you can just buy and use without proper training. Or at least you shouldn't if you enjoy having hands and eyes.

The internet has taught me how to crochet, knit, make dreds, etch glass, paint on glass, create the look I want when making wired jewelry, use polymer clay, pop art, customizing a blythe doll (including sanding her face to get the right expression), and on and on and on and on.

More important is the creativity. Hours looking online at things I like. I'm totally not wasting time, I'm seeing image after image until I pull a few things together and create something new. Whoops I thought it was new. Look, there's already a site devoted to it. Sweet, they can tell me what tools are best.

Thanks, Internet.

I have a friend who's been driving me crazy. She talks about my natural artistic ability, and complains that she doesn't have it. I reacted without thinking about it, taking offense to her claim of natural ability, because I felt that I had worked really hard to get to where I am artistically. Then I spent the last month thinking non-stop about artistic people having natural abilities. I've been accused of arrogance, and I had to investigate.

I work with children from the age of two until they are five. I have them to myself at the ages of three and four, but the time before and after I'm still involved with them. In the beginning I am an authority figure that steps in when they are misbehaving (when the teacher in the toddler class starts going crazy at about 11:15 every morning). Towards the end I'm the adult that they seek out when they do something creative, because ultimately it is my opinion that matters more than any other adult when it comes to art.

I've been seeking out children that could be candidates for this so called natural ability towards creativity, and I have so far found no evidence that it exists. What I have found is that every human is born with the ability to be creative, and they either exercise it or it dies. I've been trying to find science-related evidence to back me up or contradict me, but I'm guessing I'm not searching the right way, because I've found nothing. :o(

I've tried to come up with other possible ways that creativity could be anything other than a "muscle" that needs to be exercised, but I can't. All I can see is that the more I try, the better I get. The more I practice, the better I get. The more I exercise creativity, the more creative I become. I find that when I'm labeled "naturally creative" I get extremely pissed off. You might as well be saying, "You didn't work hard to get to where you are, it just came naturally to you."

The desire came what seemed like naturally to me. I saw adults that were creative, and instead of saying, "I wish I could be creative, too" I invested a lot of time and effort to become one of those people. I believe this is called Self-Actualizing.

Now when self-esteem and comparison comes in to play I have to say I'm no where near as creative as I'd like to be, but I'm working at it. I don't think I'm awesome, and that makes people angry because they think I'm being cocky. WHAT? I am so confused. Okay, so yeah, I know how to use glue and I have the patience to start over and over and over again until I have a straight line, but I'm telling you I'm going to be a lot more awesome than this, and don't you dare chalk it up to natural ability. I am devoting all of my time to this. I started teaching preschool because I knew that it would be a m-f job with a small income I could count on, but more importantly I would have the freedom to spend my time practicing creativity. Where better than a preschool? The preschool classroom is set up for creativity.

All of the toys are made to exercise creativity, but kids struggle when they aren't show the way. All my class did was make guns out of legos and shoot each other with them until I spent some time showing them what else you can do with legos. They took those ideas and used them with other toys, and created things I probably would have never thought of on my own. We learn from each other. This is why everything I make is licensed under creative commons. (With the attribution to feed my ego. :o))

I hit the jackpot. All day the kids ask me to draw pictures for them and now after two years I can finally draw a unicorn that I would call cute and that would be difficult for the average person to draw. I could not do this two years ago. Back then if I wanted a cute unicorn I would ask my husband to draw it.

As a result, now, the kids that sat and watched me draw all day are also able to draw what I can draw. Their hands aren't as steady yet, but they saw it over and over and they know all the steps and they can draw amazingly for four-year-olds. The kids that have gone through my class ALL draw better than their older siblings. Each and every parent now thinks they have a kid that is naturally creative, not like their older sibling who is not so creative. I don't argue with them because what am I going to say, "Uh actually they are just copying me. Kids do that. They watch adults and mimic them." It starts out that way, but the real treat is when they start being creative on their own, which usually happens after they leave my class. My favorite creation so far was by a girl that I had taught to draw dinosaurs and unicorns. After a few months away from me she came to me with a dinosaur that had a horn and wings . She called it a "unisaur". I now draw unisaurs all the time. I also started drawing caticorns and other mixes of animals. It wasn't MY idea, it was a child's.

I didn't see this coming. This job turned out to be the best thing for exercising my own creativity. The kids copy me and I copy the kids and it becomes easier to do things that were once extremely difficult for me. It's practice, not magic. Creativity isn't something we do on our own. It isn't an inner natural ability that some magic god gave you because you are specially made for it. Let's stop wishing and start playing together.

I'm open to any science opposing this, by the way. I just came up with it by observing and coming to conclusions, so there is no way I can say I am correct.

I'm enjoying Tommy's post. I noticed a lot of his posts made me think, so that's neat.

For the first time I'm at an age where I can understand politics and I'm very interested. I get the feeling that some sort of political work is in my future. My far, far future. I get that feeling because it's one of those deep desires. I haven't figured out where it came from, but I think it's Malvina Reynolds. My grandma(or maybe someone else) used to sing one of her songs to me. Magic Penny. I might be wrong, but I think that song is the seed for my desire to be involved with humanity. I recommend it if you have children. You can buy it on itunes for 99 cents. If you do I also recommend her song Little Boxes. My preschool class loves it. Most of them call it their favorite song, but that might be because I dance around all happy whenever one of her songs comes on. I also play it on the piano for them. We bond because of that song. I had no idea as a child that her songs met a political need. I think Little Boxes says something very powerful. It was a major statement at the time. I have something like 13 covers of the song, in three different languages. I'd like to sing it in spanish. There are a whole bunch of new covers because of the show Weeds on Showtime, but I'm still missing a lot of those. There was a spanish version done and I want that so I can use correct diction. It will happen.


Here's a video from the show's intro.


During the second season they had a new person singing this song for every episode. Also, it's a great show.

When I listen to her sing, or talk, I feel like I can relate to her voice more than any other (as far as who I'd like to be and what kind of a footprint I'd like to leave.) I'm trying, but it's a hard road. I have to be all creative and junk. Exercising creativity is damn hard. Drawing is not hard, painting is not hard, beading is not hard, sculpting is not hard. Exercising creativity is hard. The manuals for it are JUNK, too. If I master it I'll totally write book about how my way will work for everyone. Whatever.