Author Archive for George W.

The Problem With “Traditional Marriage” (It wasn’t all that great to begin with)

What on earth is so great about “Traditional Marriage”?

 Christians keep harping on about “redefining marriage” and how traditional marriage is some magical sacred institution that is so perfect that we dare not change a single thing about it.  They talk about the sanctity of the institution of marriage and how to change course now is to destroy the very fabric of our society. 

How great is “Traditional Marriage™”, really? 

When my wife and I decided- after five years of dating, four years of cohabitation, two children,  and several family functions-to get married, I had to ask my wife’s father for her hand in marriage.  She didn’t need to ask my father- or my mother-no….  I needed to ask her father.  It is Tradition™, after all. 

Why?

Because “traditionally“, daughters were the property of their fathers. “Traditionally“- women are property that gets transferred from man to man. “Traditionally“, I own my wife.

 You know what?

 F-U-C-K tradition.

 I, like any reasonable and loving human being- like anyone deserving of being married- define marriage as a partnership of equals.  I don’t own my wife.  She is an amazing, strong, passionate human being- not an iPod.  That’s not what Tradition says.  That’s not what thousands of years of law and convention says.  That is just a fact- and an inconvenient one if you happen to think that marriage was perfect until we started to meddle with it.  I don’t want to “redefine” marriage.  It continues to change with a society that has realized how traditional doesn’t mean the same thing as optimal.  It is evolving to mean what it should have meant from inception- the joining of two equals in a promise of love and commitment.  Did I just “redefine” marriage?

  I already “redefined” marriage when I chose to view and treat my wife as a human being as opposed to a commodity that I could acquire from her father. I redefined marriage when I chose to value her as my equal.

When I asked her father for his blessing, I was following tradition.  Would it have been rude to refuse to take part in a ritual subjugation of my future wife?  I don’t think so. 

  “Traditional” doesn’t mean “right”.

Just because we’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean we can’t do it better.  We can do a whole lot better than “Traditional Marriage”- so stop acting like it’s so Goddamned important.


Random Religious Texting: The Great Commission Goes Wireless!

So I’m sitting at my desk at work the other day just wrapping up with a customer, and my cell phone beeps with an incoming text message.  (I like my phone to make an old-school “beeper” sound when I get text messages, because I’m an ironic hipster.  Hey!  Remember beepers?) 

Anyway, I assume it is my wife, since she texts me about 247 times daily- and since it’s nearing the end of my shift I assume she wants a bottle of wine to have with dinner or that we are out of sour cream to have with the Greek Potatoes.  I check my phone as soon as the customer leaves, and there is a message from a number I don’t recognize.  It’s from a different area code- 519 (Western Ontario, about 5 hours away)- I don’t know anybody who lives there.  The gentleman sending me the message is Philip W. (I assume, since he signed the text “Philip W.”) and he’s either mistyping phone numbers into his phone or randomly texting people  about their “walk with God”.  I’m not sure.

Here is what he wrote- and how I responded:

 

 

I was really hoping he would have texted me back.  That’s the ”great” thing about the Great Commission though, you only need to speak the Word- if people don’t want to listen that’s their problem….. even if it is cryptic and insincere.


The REAL Threats to Marriage- Hint: None Of Them Rhyme With “Hobo Sect Duality”

Happy birthday to my good friend Derek AKA Skwrl Forgie, who isn’t just happy being one year wiser- he needs to go flaunting it in video form.

Show off.

If you have not already, “like” HSSE on Facebook.


Getting Our Priorities In Order & Coming Out On Facebook

I love this conversation.

Here is a guy who comes out of the closet on Facebook and gets the best ever reaction.  His friends are rightly indignant and critical of his choice. 

 

Thanks to HSSE on Facebook for the link!


What’s That? You Thought “Pro-Life” Meant Concern For The Unborn?

Many atheists I know, myself included, will from time to time express some empathy for the absract goals of the pro-life movement. 

  • They are trying to save lives, right?
  • Their “value judgement” is noble, if myopic.
  • The ultimate goal of a “pro-life” advocate is not entirely dissimilar to many pro-choice proponents.

I have at one time or another defended all three of these propositions.  What makes them true is that “the primacy of life” is a good thing to value.  Unfortunately for the greater “Pro-Life” movement, valuing life (and the primacy of it) is far from a forgone conclusion.

Surely there are those within the pro-life movement who think that the debate is only about the lives of unborn children.  There must exist those people.

Ahh, to be young and innocent….

Don’t be fooled though.  For the vast majority of pro-life supporters abortion is just one more extension of a religious culture war.  Do they support contraception? Not always.  Do they support social programs aimed at making pregnancy feasable for underpriveledged women?  Not necessarily.  Do they support arming women (and men) with the knowledge necessary to make informed decisions about their sexual health?  Rarely. 

If you are not against unwanted pregnancy then you are not pro-life.  You are anti-abortion.

It becomes even harder for me to believe that the real issue is the ultimate primacy of life if the lives you are so desperate to save are tools to forward a religious agenda.

I submit for your examination this “pro-life” article that appears on “LifeNews”, a “pro-life” website. The article is titled “Godless and ‘Pro-Choice’- So Happy Together For Abortion“, and as you can imagine, it is a clear and moving defense of the lives of unborn children.  Note how central the life of the unborn is to the authors argument.  Note  how the author puts the “priceless lives of children” above any kind of alternative agenda.  An excerpt:

Godless. Apparently, it’s a growing trend these days. In the 60s, America was fighting godless racism within our borders and godless Communism overseas. We were also fighting a godless, drug-filled, narcissistic sexual revolution refusing to accept transcendent morality, that found a leader in famed atheist, Madalyn Murray O’Hair.

As an attorney, she led a public crusade against what she regarded as society’s most potent evil—prayer. In the 1963 case of Murray vs. Curlett, she successfully convinced the Supreme Court to ban prayer from public schools. That’s not where the story ends. She spawned a movement that would get publicity like never before, thanks to her provocative obscenity-laced PR, and a media establishment that was growing more antagonistic toward religion. She founded American Atheists, an organization hell-bent on proclaiming God doesn’t exist.

Wait a second!  I didn’t read anything in there about unborn children, let alone how valuable they were.  Maybe I need to scroll down some…..

 We are a country, contrary to many atheists’ historical impairment, founded upon biblical principles that are infused throughout many founding fathers’ writings, including the Declaration of Independence. The AHA’s Humanist Manifesto I and II attempt to excise our country’s Judeo-Christian underpinnings and replace them with their recycled religion of humanism.

Advisory: No babies have been mentioned in the making of this message. 

Planned Parenthood’s history and present is rife with animosity toward Christianity unless the abortion giant can use religious folk to justify the mutilation of human life. American Atheists and the AHA believe that modernity is better served without religion. In fact, the AHA’s motto is “Good Without A God”.

No thanks. I’m an advocate for the marriage of reason and faith in a world where moral absolutes still exist.

Fun fact:  In the French language the words “reason” and “faith” are both feminine.  So at least this guy is for same-sex marriage….

 if only rhetorically. 

 Bazinga.

 

 

 


Thoughts After Going To Court For A Domestic Abuse Charge

There are few things more certain to deflate your trust in the legal system than witnessing it in action.

It becomes, the more you navigate the system, increasingly hard to continue convincing yourself that we are moving in the direction of justice.  I find myself, after spending a single morning sitting outside a courtroom, wanting to shout

Is this really the best we can do?

The Back Story

I got a subpoena to appear as a witness in a domestic assault case.  Back in November, just 3 months after moving into the basement of my house, my tenant physically assaulted his girlfriend with my children upstairs listening to the whole thing.  My wife called me at work to tell me that the woman who lives downstairs was screaming repeatedly, and at the top of her lungs “Help me. Someone….please….help me.”

My wife- upstairs with a house full of children and 7 months pregnant asked me if I could come home and deal with the situation.  I quickly rushed home and after checking with my wife to discuss what exactly was going on, I went downstairs and knocked on the door.  The door opened a crack, enough for the boyfriend to stick his head out to greet me, but not enough for me to see into the apartment. “Hey. So my wife said she heard your girlfriend crying for help, is everything alright?”, I ask.

“Yep, everything’s fine.”, he says.  He closes the door.

Wow. Really? Your girlfriend just finished screaming for help and the best you can muster is “Yep, everything’s fine”?  Not “she dropped the couch on her foot while rearranging the living room and screamed for help”?   No?

Not “she was  practicing a rather loud and spirited tone-deaf rendition of the Beatles classic.”….Really?  If you’re going to lie, go big or go home. I feel insulted.

Suffice it to say I called the police.  Within minutes I had three cruisers on my front lawn, a shirtless tenant being stuffed in a cruiser, and my wife imploring me to make sure I’m outside in plain view so that the neighbors don’t think I’m the one getting arrested.  A while after, his girlfriend is escorted to another cruiser visibly shaken.  An officer takes my statement, my wifes statement, then thanks me and leaves.

The next day, an officer stops by to tell me that the Accused is not welcome at my address as a term of his release, and that I am to call the police if I see him there.  He explains that the Accused has been charged with assault and forcible confinement, and we should expect updates through Victim Services.  That night, I again knocked on my tenants apartment door.  She answers, face swollen and bruised- deep purple shades changing to a light brown color like coffee with cream at the periphery.  Her bottom lip bulges slightly, noticeably split.  My heart breaks for this woman.  I tell her that my wife and I want her to know that we understand that money might be tight for her the next little while- we don’t want her to worry- we are happy to be flexible if she wants to stay.

She never takes me up on the offer. Rent is always on time, always in full.

Months later I am visited by a nice lady in a police uniform.  The patch on her arm reads “Court Services”, and she pulls out two subpoenas attached to her clipboard.  He has decided to plead not guilty, and my wife and I are witnesses for the prosecution.

“He’s pleading not guilty?”, my wife says, “How can he plead not guilty?”, and I try my best to explain what I think is going on.

  In Canada, thankfully, we don’t drop charges if the victim refuses to be cooperative.   An uncooperative victim can make prosecution more difficult, but it doesn’t make it impossible.  The most likely explanation is either he believes there is a procedural technicality (like grounds to enter the premises) or he is hoping to get a plea bargain by forcing the prosecutions hand. 

My Day In Court

My subpoena says to be outside the courtroom by 9AM.  My wife and I get there at about 8:45 with our two month old baby in tow.  There are no police officers outside the courtroom when I get there.  There are no lawyers.  There is me, my wife, a couple that looks homeless, a guy with a poneytail that is dressed in a $10 Goodwill suit with a dress shirt frayed and worn at the collar, the woman who lives in our apartment, and her attacker- who is standing over her just three feet away as she texts on her phone.  As soon as he recognizes us, he moves to a seating area further down the hall.

I say hello to her, she acknowledges me and continues staring at her phone.  You can see her trying to keep her composure, the occasional sniffle pulling back the tears. A few cops start to arrive and start shooting the breeze in an interview room with the door open.  One of them, loud enough for me to hear clearly, starts talking about beating the crap out of a guy he arrested that night. 

It’s 9:15AM and the lawyers start slowly shuffling in.  No one has spoken with me yet.  No one has talked to her either.  The homeless husband asks one of the lawyers when they are going to get into the courtroom.  “At 9:30, sometimes it’s a little later than that”, he says.  Un-fucking-believable.

Yeah.  Now it’s 9:30- there are lawyers and clerks and police moving in and out of the courtroom like bees from a hive.  No one has spoken with me yet.  No one has spoken to the victim either.  The Accused is finally getting a meeting with his duty council, they go into one of the interview rooms to talk.  I look over at her, she’s starting to relax a little.

“Man, this is taking forever.”, I say, hoping to break the ice a little.  She agrees, and she starts talking a bit.  Turns out, she had called the prosecutor a few times hoping to get the conditions changed so that she could talk to her boyfriend before the trial.  She never got a call back.  She says that she thinks he can change- my wife is not impressed.

“People don’t change- don’t get your hopes up”, my wife interjects.

“That’s not true”, I say- my wife looking visibly displeased with me,”It is true that people can change.  It’s that they change so rarely and not always for the better.” 

Our tenant explains that when she spoke with the prosecution they had mentioned some of the sentencing options, which included anger management classes- which she thought was a good idea. 

 My wife is stewing.

It’s now 10:05 and a disarmingly handsome police officer walks up to our tenant.  He invites her to come into one of the interview rooms to speak with a prosecutor about her statement and testimony.  Still, no one has even acknowledged that my wife and I exist.

“What is wrong with that girl”, my wife asks, “and where the fuck are her parents?”  My wife cannot believe what she is hearing.  The next 10 minutes are spent talking about how anyone would let their daughter handle this alone, what could possibly bring someone to have such a skewed view of their own self-worth, and why the victim should be sitting alone for over an hour without anyone really giving a shit.  I’m disturbed, but stoic- my wife is just trying to keep her cool.

It’s 10:25, and our tenant is coming back to her seat.  She seems happier.  She says that the prosecution has decided to accept a plea bargain.  They are dropping the forcible confinement charge- he’s going to plead guilty to assault and with her approval sentence him to one year probation and six weeks of anger management classes.  She seems to think this is a good solution.  A police officer comes up to us (finally) and says “Thanks for coming, but you can go home now.”

What Just Happened??

Wow.  I don’t know where to start…..

  1. Why are people subpoenaed for 9AM if no-one who works there shows up till 9:15, court doesn’t start till 9:30 (or later!), and nobody intends to be waiting there to speak with you?  Did we subcontract court services to a Cable Television company?
  2. What, for the love of FSM, are people thinking when they ask a victim to be outside a courtroom at 9AM- with the fucking abuser there at the same time- without anyone there to police the situation???  He was standing right fucking over her!!!  FUCK!!!! When my kids get in a fight, do I send them both to the same room-alone? 
  3. Should we, as a society, give much thought to how a victim wants their abuser dealt with?  If I wanted my attacker sentenced to death, would we pursue that?  If I wanted a person who murdered my spouse to go free with a $250 fine, would the prosecution entertain that?  No.  sentences are not just about making right with victims, they are about sending clear messages about how society views certain behaviours.  Victims should be consulted- but not to the degree that we empower abusers.  If anger management and a year of probation is a reflexion of how society feels about domestic assault, how can we come to any other conclusion than the belief that we think it is more bothersome than wrong?

Am I being irrational here?


Canada has issues too……

I’m going to send you a link to a story from the Toronto Star.  Be prepared to first shout “WTF?”, then be immensely angry, then shout “No, Srsly……WTF?”

The story is here.

A Kitchener father is angry at police after he was arrested at his child’s school and later strip-searched at the police station, all because his 4-year-old daughter drew a picture of a gun in class.

“I’m picking up my kids and then, next thing you know, I’m locked up,” Jessie Sansone, 26, said of his ordeal on Wednesday. “I was in shock. This is completely insane.”

The school principal, police and child welfare officials, however, all stand by their actions. They say they had to investigate to determine whether there was a gun in Sansone’s house that children had access to.

My favorite line in the whole article?

After he was released, Sansone was asked to sign a paper authorizing a search of his home. He signed, even though he didn’t have to, he said.

So yeah, they got him to sign a paper authorizing the search they had already performed.  You know, so that he can’t sue them.  This is monumentally ridiculous.  I wish I had Ed Brayton on my Facebook.  He’d get a kick out of this.

In the same local newspaper I found this news story, there was a great piece on the front page interviewing our Chief of Police about Bill C-30 (A Canadian Bill that would force ISP’s to keep data on their customers internet usage that police could access on request).  He made it clear that he supports the initiative.

You know, because police would never overreach their authority or abuse their power.


Germane to Multiple Things I have Been Reading Lately….

 

There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been.  The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

-Isaac Asimov

That about sums it up.

Via Facebook (Thanks Oscar!)


Speaking of Children……..

Many of my readers know that I have children.  Some may not.  In a comment thread over at Lousy Canuck, it was mentioned by more than one commenter that there was a dearth of atheists blogging about parenting and the intersection of parenthood and skepticism. At that moment it struck me- why do I never blog about fatherhood or the challenges and rewards of parenting?

I mean… in my life outside the internet, I am regularly accused of spending an inordinate amount of time talking about my kids.  I excuse myself of it by explaining how very much of my time is actually spent with my kids- and how I might have very little to add to any conversation if you held “off limits” the majority of my waking hours for the last 12 or so years. Yet if you came to this blog and read every post without ever clicking the “about” tab, you likely would have no idea that I am the father of five (yep, you read that right, FIVE) kids.

I assumed that since many of my readers don’t have kids, and no other bloggers were really talking about parenting, that it was a subject that was of little importance in the skeptical community.  I assumed that on a scale of relevance for the average atheist, children were ranked slightly higher than baseball scores but merely a fraction of LOL Kittens.  It turns out that some people actually want to discuss parenting and children with like minded atheists.  Huh. Who knew?

Now that I think about it, virtually every blog I frequent has some co- or sub-theme to atheism that I find less than interesting to me.

For example, Jeremy over at Cafe Witteveen (the first stop on my daily blog rounds) has many interests outside of atheism that I find fascinating- photography and cooking are a few examples.  On the other hand, I tend to skip over Caturday posts and feel ambivalent about Wednesdog.

Likewise, when I visit Jason over at Lousy Canuck I enjoy his posts about old school Nintendo games and physics- but tend to avoid posts about Ubuntu or how to hack source code.  At Dan’s blog, Camels With Hammers, I love all things philosophy and Star Wars but skip over some of his questionable music suggestions.

Anyway, you get the picture.

I have been running a pretty shallow blog for almost two years now.  I never took the time to consider that maybe a blog is a place to do more than rant about how wrong someone else is on the internet.  (Don’t worry, I’m still gonna do that)  I’ve spent the last two years writing opinion pieces at the expense of really injecting myself into my blog.

So, as of today, that all changes.  My blog is going to be anchored to atheism, devoted to skeptic and rational thought, and be about how I apply skepticism and atheism where the rubber meets the road.

I’m still ironing out the details.  Do I use the names of my kids? (probably not)  Do I change certain details to maintain some sense of privacy? (likely)

Expect posts that speak directly to my experience raising kids who are engaged, educated, and empathetic.  Expect me to relate some anecdotes about raising my kids that tie into certain atheist related issues in the blogosphere.  Expect me to talk frankly about the challenges of parenting as well as the infinite rewards.

I hope that this is going to lead to new readers- people who want to share their own experiences with parenting, people who want to learn from my mistakes, and people who want to point out those mistakes I’m not aware I’m making.  I hope that this will get me back on track with a regular posting schedule- since now the most important thing that keeps me from regular blogging will be a topic of conversation.

I hope you are going to stay tuned.


Be Part Of Something Meaningful

Derek and his wife, Tessie.

I’d like you to meet Derek Forgie.  I’ve known Derek for almost twenty years- we were both involved in the arts community here in North Bay for many years before Derek moved down to Toronto in search of fame and fortune.  Well, mostly fame.

Derek is the most motivated guy I know.  When he wants to do something, he just does it.  When he moved to Toronto he started HSSE, Heterosexuals for Same Sex Equality, a group whose mission statement is to advocate for LGBT issues from a heterosexual angle- and to get the message out that human rights are everyone’s rights.

HSSE has already organized a successful campaign called “Straight Not Narrow”- selling T-shirts and organizing community involvement including participation in the Pride Parade in Toronto.  The T-shirt is awesome and sends a clear and catchy message while raising money for a great cause.  I’m not here to sell you a T-shirt though, don’t worry.

The new HSSE project is centered around an ad campaign that shows real couples holding a sign that reads “Gay marriage doesn’t threaten our marriage”.   Derek asked me if I could help by getting a picture of me and Misty holding a sign that carried the message- and I said I could do better than that.

I’m hoping that I can get as many of the married (or engaged) readers to get Derek a photo of them holding up this sign.  I’m also trying to pull some strings at some of the other blogs I frequent.  The sign could be hand written, or printed off using a computer- and it doesn’t have to be to same font as the one you see above.  If you like, you could add the facebook address that is written on the sign as well.  Each photo should be uploaded to facebook.com/TheHSSE but if you love humans but hate social networks, feel free to e-mail the picture to me and I will forward it to Derek.  My e-mail is my first name and last name (waye) all one word , ampersat, consultant, period, com.  The idea is to collect as many as possible before Valentines Day.

As part of the campaign, for the month of February, the wonderfully talented staff at “Who Do You Love? Photography” in Toronto are very generously offering FREE professional couples portraits like the one above. If you’d like to book your session (or if you have any questions) email: contactus@WhoDoYouLovePhotography.com

So to make this easy for all of you:
  1. Make a sign that says “Gay marriage doesn’t threaten our marriage” feel free to add “facebook.com/TheHSSE”
  2. Take a picture of you and your husband/wife (and kids?) holding the sign.
  3. Go to facebook.com/TheHSSE and upload the photo to their wall.  Alternately, you can e-mail the picture to me (my first and last name,ampersat,consultant, period, com)  If you put “George sent me” and I get twenty photos……
  4. I will raffle off the free “Straight Not Narrow” T-shirts to the people who participate-your name will be entered so long as your picture is posted by Noon on February 14th.

So get to it.  Be a part of something meaningful.


Parenthood, Promises and Progress: Why Scouting Makes Me A Reluctant Hypocrite.

On my honour
I promise that I will do my best
To do my duty to God and the Queen
To help other people at all times,
And to carry out the spirit of the Scout Law.

The man I am today owes a debt to my life in Scouting.  I can build a fire, make a camp, cook a meal from whole ingredients. I can sew, lash, and build with tools. I am passionate about getting involved and being of service to my community.I am a better leader, a better peer, and a better citizen.  I am a responsible steward of the environment.  When I go on a walk with my children, I can name trees and plants, rocks and minerals, animals and insects- I can show them how nature impacts us and how we impact nature. I am a better Dad, a better husband, and a better man because of scouting.

The idea that skills are important, that people are important, that passion is important- lie at the heart of Scouts from Beavers to Rovers and beyond.

When I was a Scout, I thought I could change the world.  We were told we could change the world.  We were taught how to change the world.  My troop collected newspaper and glass bottles before our community established a recycling program.  We planted trees, collected trash, gave our time to food banks, the elderly, and community organizations.  We were told that it was our duty not just to leave nature better than we found it but to leave our world better than we found it.

Scouts is about camping and hiking, yes- but it is really about more than that- it is about giving kids the skills they need to succeed in life, and building within themselves the passion to always “do your best”.

So when it came time to find activities that might interest my own children, I could think of no better fit than Scouting.  My kids love it.  My oldest son has met a group of kids he really meshes with, who share his interests and goals.  My second son is better behaved, more attentive, and shows palpable pride in the things he has realized he is capable of doing independently.  Scouts has been good to me, good to my family, and has strengthened the relationship between me and my boys.  It is no surprise, then, that when I was asked to be a leader of my son’s Cub Pack, I was excited and honored at the opportunity.  The leaders I work with are great- seasoned veterans of scouting who have been helpful and patient with me as I slowly immerse myself back into the program.

As a child, I grew up in a somewhat religious family.  My dad bought a business when I was quite young that prevented us from going to church with any regularity, but God was certainly an ever-present assumption in our family culture.  For this reason,  in my seven some-odd years in scouting from Beavers to Scouts, I paid nary a mind to the religious language and culture present in the program.  It was no more religious than my home, my public school, or my baseball team.

The Problem With the Promise

When I first picked up my Cub Book and welcome package, I was set aback by how tied to religion scouting really is.  God has a mention in every promise at every level of scouting.  The promise is not just an aside to the scouting program, but something children are required to memorize.  It is the “vision statement” of every young Beaver, Cub and Scout.  My children memorized this promise dutifully, as did I- but for my oldest son and myself it is a promise that we have no intent to keep.  My twelve year old son doesn’t believe in God, and neither do I.

Whether or not God has a place in Scouting and whether He deserves a mention in the Scouting promise is not a question of tradition.  Scouts is traditionally a male-only organization.  I have four girls in my Cub Pack, my son has two girls in his Scout Troop.  Scouts was at one point a traditionally Christian-focused organization, and they now welcome Buddhists and Baptists, Sikhs and Seventh Day Adventists, Hindus, Quakers and every faith from Anglicans to Zoroastrians.  A Scout today would find much wrong with the 1908 founding book “Scouting for Boys”, starting with the title itself.

Before investiture, I had the opportunity at a leader’s meeting to broach this subject with a few of the other leaders in my Pack.  At a leaders meeting, I gingerly brought up the subject and was told by my Akela that he saw no issue with refusing membership to a child or adult who refused to make The Promise.  Scouts, according to him, is an organization that takes faith seriously.  I immediately dropped the subject.

Badges of Honour

Later that evening, I went to the Scouts Canada website.  Scouts invites children and leaders to achieve a “Religion in Life” badge- a badge that has different requirements for several different faith systems.  There is no “Humanist” equivalent.  There is, of course, no reason someone “needs” to get this badge- nor is it to my knowledge a necessary prerequisite to achieving other badges or awards.  I suppose that one could argue that this should hardly be a problem; that if you want a swimming badge you learn how to swim, if you want a first aid badge, you learn first aid, if you want a religion in life badge you learn to love God.

I take issue with this for the same reason that Scouts has expanded the scope of the Religion in Life badge in the past- it necessarily excludes people of a certain philosophy. This changed with the inclusion of the many faiths in which one can receive this award. Given that such a badge exists, if metaphysical philosophy is a skill worth valuing and teaching, then either there are common attributes that can be learned regardless of specific philosophies or there is one singular “right way” to learn the skill.  I don’t think you can argue that a Sikh and a Baptist have mastered a skill that is unavailable to an atheist without admitting there is something fundamentally wrong with a non-theist metaphysical philosophy.  In essence you are saying that Sikhism, Christianity and Buddhism are right, and Secular Humanism is wrong.

There is a badge designed to bypass this issue, known as the Spirituality Award.  It is designed to be an exclusive replacement to the “Religion in Life” badge for children who are “not a member of a specific faith”.  The name and description of the badge make at minimum deistic faith an assumption, and separating the badge from the religiously themed badges again seems to be a subtle measure of exclusion.  The problem is not the accommodation Scouts Canada has obviously made to include people who are non-practicing, it’s the method of accommodation.  It is as if they erected a ten person tent with the purpose of housing the whole troop-finding that they have an eleventh member- and building an outshelter instead of a bigger tent.  The problem is that the tent is too small to fulfill the spirit of it’s purpose- the answer is not to build an extra tent- or to try and jam an extra person into the tent you already have.

Do Your Best

Scouts, at the heart and soul of the program, is about responsibility.  It is being accountable to the resources we use, and paying that forward.  Responsibility for our environment. Responsibility to our peers.  Responsibilities to our families.  Responsibility to our communities.

To be responsible to our community is to be inclusive.  This is the spirit of community in the first place.  It is celebrating those things that make us peers in spite of those things that make us individuals.  What lesson do we seek to teach our children by systemically excluding and marginalizing people who share the same goals, aspirations, and dreams as the rest?  Humanists are saying the same things- giving the same time- working toward the same goals.  They are using a different language, but they are speaking the same words.

I was taught as a Scout that that I could change my community for the better.  I was told to help other people at all times.  I was taught to do my best.  When I look at a Promise that seeks to be exclusive, an organization intolerant of different paths to the same goals- as the person Scouts has taught me to be- I want to do something to change it.  I want to do my best.  I want to work within the organization to make it better.  I feel, as it stands, powerless to change a system that has taught me that I have the power to change things.  I have been told that I am not welcome as I am- that my son is not welcome as he is.  For the sake of my children and for the sake of an otherwise enriching program, I’ve chosen to thus far bite my tongue and accept it.

  I am, in spite of the lessons of community I learned as a scout, reciting a promise that is exclusionary because I believe deeply in the promise of an organization I believe is inclusive.  In the process I have made myself a reluctant hypocrite.  

Here is my Scouting Promise:

On my honour,I promise that I will do my best,to do my duty to my world, my community and humankind, to help other people at all times, and carry out the spirit of the Scout Law.

That should be the universal Scout Promise.  That is the spirit of Scouting.

Do your best.  It is the motto of the Cub Scout, it is the ultimate promise of the Scout.  I was taught through Scouting that I can do better.  As an organization, as a community, as stewards of the communities we seek to improve- we are not doing our best.  We can do better.


Getting Skeptical About Woo Juice Part 2-MLM and the business of deception.

Tahitian Noni International is a large Multi Level Marketing(MLM) company based out of Provo, Utah.  I’m not going to claim that MLM companies are a scam in and of themselves- though there are several practices common to almost all MLM companies that make it virtually impossible to build a successful business as an independent MLM contractor.1  There are some that are better than others.  Certainly anecdotally I can attest- based on my monthly credit card bill- that there is at least one company in Canada that sells enough retail product to my wife to put a quiverfull through college.    I don’t begrudge the MLM structure, if set up correctly, it can give some motivated people a decent supplement to their income.  The problem is that many Multi-Level Marketing companies have a structure that dooms the vast majority of their consultants to almost certain failure- regardless of how they market the “opportunity” as being otherwise.2

Contrary to what some MLM advocates will tell you- there are serious differences between the structure of their business model and other business models.  I have read more than once over the last few days- leading up to this post on TNI- that “every business is a MLM business”.3 This is absurd.  There are certain attributes that define an MLM company, and many of them are entirely unique to the MLM business model.  Before I go on to discuss Noni, and TNI specifically, I would like to first explain the differences between Multi-Level Marketing and traditionally based business models.  This is important when discussing the impressive claims made by TNI and their independent contractors- and will help people interested in TNI and other MLM businesses to weigh the facts against the hype.

  1. MLM companies have a relatively small infrastructure of corporate employees.  There are hundreds or thousands (or even hundreds of thousands) of independent contractors who are expected to sell the end product.
  2. Perhaps the single most definitive characteristic is that MLM companies depend on their independent contractors to expand their distribution network.  I’m not aware of many non-MLM models that compensate an independent contractor for recruiting people to do the exact same job.
  3. MLM companies create a pay structure that rewards both end-user sales as well as the end-user sales of the contractors who have been recruited by the independent contractor.
  4. MLM’s almost always requires the contractor to purchase the product with their own money and rarely to never compensate the contractor for surplus product.
  5. Many MLM’s require the prospective contractor to attend or complete a training program that is paid for by the contractor, is non refundable, and required regardless of previous education.
  6. There is no guarantee of success or income.  Contractors are compensated by commission only, and the company at no time assumes any risk in either recruiting, training, or compensating employees.

Here is a list, from a well respected site on MLM, of the five criteria that make an MLM unique (the first four criteria are shared by every business that is colloquially called a “Pyramid Scheme” ):

1. Recruiting of participants is unlimited in an endless chain of empowered and motivated recruiters recruiting recruiters – ad infinitum.

2. Advancement in a hierarchy of multiple levels of “distributors” is achieved by recruitment, rather than by appointment.

3.”Pay to play” requirements are satisfied by ongoing “incentivized purchases**.”

4. Company payout per sale for the person actually selling the product is less than the total of all upline participants , creating inadequate incentive to retail and excessive incentive to recruit – and an extreme concentration of income at the top.

5. The company pays commissions and/or bonuses to more than five levels of “distributors.”

** purchase requirements may be disguised investments in a product-based pyramid scheme, or a clever system of laundering pyramid investments in the form of product purchases. Few make sufficient commissions to cover the cost of these expenses, to say nothing of significant operating expenses necessary to conduct a successful recruitment campaign.

Each of these criterion-save criteria #1- in and of themselves, are not poor business practice.  There is nothing by nature inherently wrong with MLM businesses,  other than the fact that they assume little to no risk in recruiting or maintaining their human capital.  That is an enviable position for most corporations- the risk is almost entirely borne by contractors and not by the corporation proper.  This important fact leads to the number one thing anybody involved in an MLM structure should know: It makes no difference how successful the parent company is.  You could be working for a multi-billion dollar MLM- the largest MLM in the world even- and you will still most likely fail.  You will pack up your business having lost more than you made- or not made enough to survive- with almost 100% certainty.  Am I exaggerating?  Let me say it again boldly with a link to a very plain explanation of your odds of success:

It makes no difference how successful the parent company is.  You could be working for a multi-billion dollar MLM- the largest MLM in the world even- and you will still most likely fail.  You will pack up your business having lost more than you made- or not made enough to survive- with almost 100% certainty.

Extensive research shows that the odds of making money in Multi-Level Marketing are worse than winning money gambling in Las Vegas.4  99% of recruits fail.  That figure is actually cautiously optimistic, and people who work with MLM contractors- people with a vested interest in making those odds seem better- admit similar statistics.5

These statistics certainly point to the conclusion that the overall success of the parent company- and the anecdotal successes of the 1% of contractors who are financially rewarded for their efforts- are neither indicative of the quality of the product offered or the likelihood of personal success as a contractor.  Virtually every MLM company can boast tidy profits.  Every MLM can point to people who have made a boatload of money as independent contractors.  Neither of these statistics mean anything.

It should be noted that any company that can boast billions of dollars in gross sales ought to have a better than 50% success rate for independent distributors- otherwise the odds that gross sales lead to a better income opportunity are moot.

It should also bear reminding that the bulk of the money that MLMs claim as income is borne by the investment of thousands of failed distributors and not from the mass market success of their product.6  If it is true that thousands of downline distributors drop out every year, then certainly the money they invested in product and marketing tools is counted as income by the parent company.  I don’t think anyone should be impressed with 2 billion dollars in gross sales if the bulk of the product is consumed or stockpiled by the distributor- and this seems to be overwhelmingly the case with MLM products.

More to the point, what is most important to the success of a contractor, and what is the best guarantee of potential success, is the statistics of Point Of Sale (POS) transactions- and this is what is so worrisome for people interested in MLM opportunities.  My background in commissioned sales and understanding of economics tells me that their will be a correlation between POS transactions and the retention rate of distributors in a commissioned workplace.  It stands to reason that a product that is easy to sell will have a better than average amount of successful distributors, while a product that is difficult to sell will have a high turnover rate among distributors.  This is true regardless of the gross sales of the parent company- since they count their sales to distributors as “gross sales” when the product has yet to actually be sold.

Any person considering a MLM business opportunity ought to consider the claims of gross sales of the company against the actual number of people they know to be currently using the product who are not distributors themselves.

It stands to reason that your income potential is ultimately tied to the end-user demand for the product.  If the only people who are consuming the product are themselves distributors, there is zero demand for the product, and you will find that creating stable downlines is impossible- especially if monthly minimum orders and expeses exceed the normal consumption habits of a single family- a situation all too common in MLM contracts.7   In order to be successful as an MLM distributor the end product must be highly liquid (It must be quite easy to sell at or near the cost of purchase- preferably at the suggested premium).  Even if you are successful at creating downlines, you will constantly be facing an uphill battle for downline stability if your team is unable to market the hard product at a net gain.
You might honestly believe that you can ” be the 1%”, but what are the odds that a good portion of your downline will, too?

Being Competitive

Most if not all MLM products are not positioned competitively in the open market.  This stands to reason- as a potential infinite upline of commissioned distributors means that the distribution costs are potentially infinite.  As such, many Multi-Level Marketing products are sold at a large premium compared to their mass market competition.8

Many MLM companies, including TNI, claim that their products are superior in quality to their mass market alternatives.  They claim to have “patented technology” or “scientific evaluations” that prove that their product outperforms all competitors at a given function.  In the case of TNI, they specifically claim that they hold “52 scientifically validated patents”9- which is to say that they hold patents for processes that do what they say.  This does not indicate that they do better than other processes- only that they are effective.  A scientifically vindicated patent merely means that, for example, if the patent is for increasing the shelf-life of Noni juice- then the technology increases the shelf-life of Noni juice.  Not that it does so better than other methods- merely that it does what it says.   Similarly, the scientific evaluations usually do not make any mention of a comparison to other products- but merely speak to the specific effectiveness of their product.  TNI claims to “back their claims with science”, which in a roundabout way they do- though the results are ambiguous, not very impressive, and in some cases founded on unscientific protocols.10 In a bubble, the findings seem impressive- when viewed beside other studies, they seem positively boring. See my post on Tahitian Noni for examples.

This is not to say that the products marketed by Multi-Level Marketing companies are useless.  Many are beneficial, do some of what they say they do, and are quality products.  When I can purchase a virtually identical product at a fraction of the price- quality is not the issue. Value is.  I see no reason to believe that most MLM products are a good value next to their mass market alternatives- and no reason to believe that they ought to be.

Value statements ought to be based on hard value to the end user.  Claims like “Has a two year shelf life” mean nothing if products are easily sold and consumed quickly.  “Has twice as much ingredient X” means nothing if the product is four times as expensive.11  “180 studies into the efficacy of Tahitian Noni” mean nothing if other products have the same or similar ingredients.  Value is quantifiable- if anyone bothers to quantify it.

Conclusion

Morinda (TNI) either is a Multi-Level Marketing company, or it is not.  If it is- and research shows it is- then any claims about gross sales, company income, and distributor success are moot.  As with all other MLMs, better than 99% of all participants fail to realize any income.  Could you imagine working for a company that gave you not just a 1% chance of  being successful, but a 1% chance of actually not losing money?

Evidence from research show that tax preparers, in almost 100% harmony, have never seen someone claim to profit from MLM during a tax year.12  Morinda gives no indication that they are any different in this respect.  Hopefully this helps to dispel the idea that TNI offers income potential to new recruits.

I will leave it to distributors of Morinda products to dispel any misconceptions I have- but it appears almost impossible given the business structure of TNI to profit in any significant way given the meager sales figures and commission as a distributor with no downline.  If this is the case, then it becomes an impossible business model for the majority of participants.  If a downline is necessary to make a livelihood, then the perpetual recruitment of downline participants creates more distributors fighting for market share.  Sales decrease on a per representative basis.  Downlines become even more important.  The distributor to consumer ratio increases.  The company profits enormously from the investment of those who were destined to failure from the beginning.  This continues ad infinitum.  In other words, the company model makes it irresistibly beneficial to the parent company and the early recruiters- and literally theft to those who enter late.   This is the cycle that makes any claims about the profitability of a company less than impressive- but literally depressing.

The profits Morinda claims every year have less to do with Noni and more to do with broken financial dreams.  Making a tidy profit has nothing to do with a good product- it has to do with selling the pipe dream of easy money to thousands of rubes every year.  So can anyone honestly call a company like this “reputable”?

My detractors will almost certainly point to the product itself- and its purported benefits- as the most positive thing about Morinda(TNI).  Certainly, they would say, a product as healthy and beneficial as Noni Juice outweighs the failure of a few unmotivated distributors.  See my in-depth review of M. citriflora (aka Noni) as a health food for my response.  If you want a distillation of my findings, here you go:

Tahitian Noni is an overpriced health supplement that is no better for you than other fruits that are available at a fraction of the cost.  The scientific studies used to support it are either unconvincing, underwhelming, unextraordinary, or unfounded. 

The claim that Tahitian Noni is a valuable product would be akin to me selling you 100% pure cranberry  juice for $150/litre.  I’m benefiting my wallet more than your health.13

I’m sure that others will bring up the fact that Morinda is a great company when compared to other MLMs, or are better than the industry standard.  After all, they might say, how bad can a company be if it has a B+ rating (though is not registered) with the Better Business Bureau(BBB)?14 Doesn’t this give a company some legitimacy?  There are certain things that must be remembered when looking at the BBB rankings.  First, BBB complaints are primarily filed by end-user customers, not employees and contractors.  There are specific limitations to the scope of the BBB.

That said, I welcome those people interested in investigating the claim that Morinda is a better than average company to look at the following two tables.  The first compares TNI to other distributors of health and beauty products in Utah by complaints lodged over a three year period.  You might note that TNI is the only company out of the nine companies listed that has any complaints to the BBB.

What is that you say?  That isn’t good enough?  What if I took that statistic and plugged it into the statistics for Multi-Level Marketing firms in Utah?  Based on this comparison, Morinda sits in the bottom 11 out of 59 companies.  Hardly a glowing endorsement when you are well into the bottom 25% of a group of notoriously faulty businesses.

Since Tahitian Noni International (Morinda) profits do not seem to indicate the quality of the product they sell, or the potential for someone to be successful as a contractor, their profits say little if anything about the company generally- other than the owners are wealthy on the backs of thousands of hopeful Americans.  There seems to be no reason to think that Morinda is a better choice for someone looking to invest in MLM. They have a worse than average reputation as both a Health and Beauty company and as a Multi-Level Marketing firm.  The claims they make about their product do not live up to claims made by representatives, testimonials, and contractors.  What benefit is offered by their product can be offered by grocery store products at a fraction of the price.15

I find it hard to understand how anyone would endorse either TNI as a company or Tahitian Noni as a product.  Given these facts, it is clear that a certain level of ignorance or self-deception is necessary in order to say anything wholly positive about Morinda or their claims and products.

References
1.Study of Ten Major MLMs and Amway/Quixtar Show Huge Consumer Losses and Pyramid Recruitment

2.Shocking MLM Statistics

3.Google “Every business is an mlm” or “every business mlm” or “all businesses are mlm”

4.Shocking MLM Statistics. Ibid.

5. Tahitian Noni Scam? You Deserve The TRUTH

6. The 10 Big Lies of Multi-Level Marketing

7. The Truth About MLM: 5 Red Flags of a Recruitment-Driven MLM

8. The Truth About MLM: High Prices Of MLM Products

9. The $250,000 Bioactive Beverage Challenge- TNI International

10. Noni Nonsense: Miracle Juice or Scam in a Bottle

11. Or more expensive- See Getting Skeptical About Woo Juice Part 3: M. citriflora (Noni)-Better For Your Body Than Your Wallet

12. Tax Professionals Know Who Profits From MLM

13. This claim is discussed in Part 3 of my series.  (TNI claims that iridoids are the “Primary Bioactive”, and I can find no claim made of iridoids that separates them from similar “bioactives”, other than bioavailability after processing.  Specifically, antioxidants meet every single claim made of iridoids, are better researched, and are available in more foods at a far lower price.

14. Better Business Bureau -Rating, comparisons valid as of Sept. 14th, 2011.  Complaints can be compared by industry in the same State (Utah).  Morinda is registered as a Health and Beauty Distributor (but flagged as an MLM)-Comparison of MLMs is accomplished by plugging complaints and business size into the comparison of Utah-based MLMs on the BBB website.

15. For example, 100% Cranberry Juice (unsweetened) is available in the “Whole Foods” section of my local grocer for $4.99/L- if Noni was comparably priced based on benefit analysis, it would cost $3.75 per bottle of  Tahitian Noni Original 750ml.


Getting back in the saddle….

I’m back.  Sort of.

I took a few months off from blogging partially because  I took a new job that limited my time to write proper posts (I spend several hours crafting an average post- this fact likely surprises several of you who feel I talk out my ass most of the time), and partially because blogging started to feel like actual work.  I spent two weeks combing through multi-level marketing resources and woo-filled new age nutritional sites trying to hobble together a well crafted response to Neil’s ridiculous noni juice claims.  I still haven’t published those posts yet, but I will publish one this week.  I do this to myself at least once a year, where I take on a subject that bores me to submission.  (See last years astrology debacle)

So anyhow, this post is just to announce that:

  1. I’m still here, and now employed at a job that pays me twice as much as before.  I expect that now that I’m officially upper-middle class by income standards- I’ll immediately become a conservative or libertarian obsessed with hoarding my hard earned money.  Fairness was all fine and dandy, but the world looks different on the other side of the counter at the Soup Kitchen folks- so don’t come crying for a full bowl cuz I’ll beat you with the ladle.
  2. I should be able to post at least twice a week.  This will be, for some, a stark improvement over my previous few months of a post whenever the fuck I felt like it.  For others, this will be not often enough- and to you I say “live with it”.  To still others, this will be of no consequence at all- either because they don’t read my blog or they just click on a post and assume without reading it what I was going to say.
  3. For those who know me, my wife is doing great and our new daughter is due to arrive some time in December. Her name will be Geneva Belle, and we are planning to use a midwife for the first time because you don’t have any continuity between the OB you visit and the one who delivers the baby in the city we live in. Plus the OB we have is a douche. A midwife will be a big improvement for me over driving 2 hours to a small town hospital so that the doctor my wife likes can birth our child. Seriously.  We did that 3 times already.

So welcome back.  Thanks for your patience.  I’ll try not to disappoint.


Can The Religious Legally Discriminate?: The Answer Is Maybe…

As I labour away trying to research for my follow up posts on Woo Juice, I thought I might reblog this story from Ed Brayton over at Dispatches from the Culture Wars.  It’s a really nuanced issue- one that leaves me torn between opposing views:

Drawing Lines on Religion-Based Discrimination

The Chicago Tribune reports that a gay couple is suing two bed and breakfasts for refusing to rent facilities to them for a civil union ceremony.

The Beall Mansion in Alton told the Wathens via email that it “will just be doing traditional weddings.” The owner of the Timber Creek Bed and Breakfast in Paxton wrote in an email to the couple: “We will never host same-sex civil unions. We will never host same-sex weddings even if they become legal in Illinois. We believe homosexuality is wrong and unnatural based on what the Bible says about it. If that is discrimination, I guess we unfortunately discriminate.”
Here’s the legal situation:

The couple filed a complaint with the Illinois Department of Human Rights, which investigated and found “substantial evidence” that a civil rights violation had been committed.

The August finding allows the Wathens 90 days to file a complaint with the state Human Rights Commission or take civil action in Circuit Court. The Wathens’ attorney, Betty Tsamis of Chicago, told the Tribune that her clients have chosen the latter path and will file lawsuits against both businesses as early as next week.

This action, should it proceed, could bring to the courtroom a debate over the boundary lines between religious freedom and discrimination in Illinois.

Read the rest of the post here.

I’m unsure how I feel about this.  I think there is a difference between an “Event”, like a wedding, ceremony, convention or meeting- and just being a person who happens to offend someone elses sensibilities.

I think that business owners should not be able to discriminate who stays in a hotel room, or who they serve in their restaurant.  I think holding an event at their premises is a different thing altogether.  At the same time,  I think turning away customers who want to hold a wedding- just because you don’t agree with the relationship- is stupid.  Though as I mentioned in the comments, I would like to have the right as a business owner to turn away certain groups for events I did not agree with.

Any thoughts on this?  John? Jeremy? Darwin?

Others?


Getting Skeptical About Woo Juice Part 1:For The Credulous Asshole Troll- Neil C. Reinhardt

Last week I wrote a eulogy to one of my personal heroes who died of cancer.  Regardless of the political views of my readers and Canadians in general, most people are happy to agree that Jack Layton was a very special human being- someone worthy of a fond farewell.

I would like to point out that I have more than a few readers who hold political views in diametric opposition to Jack’s vision- and each and every one of those people had the courtesy to let my post stand as a testament to someone they knew I respected deeply.  I might have even tolerated a right wing diatribe about how my “pinko socialist” hero was plotting to ruin Modern Western Civilization.  Jack would have liked that.  Being accused of being “unrealistic”, “utopian”, and “socialist” would have made him proud.

Meet The Troll

Enter Neil C. Reinhardt- a professional atheist troll who spouts pathetic and misguided conspiracy theories because people don’t believe that he has stumbled across a MLM (Multi Level Marketing- aka Pyramid scheme) product that cures every single ailment known to man.  He rails against “skeptics” for not making the effort to credulously accept that his “miracle tropical beverage”  can cure any and every known disease and symptom.  Skepticism is to be lauded until it bumps heads with his faith in fruit juice. Fruit juice that apparently tastes like licking testicle sweat off of a turd. (That is how you know it works- why else would people ingest such foul tasting swill?)

Neil apparently thinks that a very personal post about a very personal subject is the perfect place to insert his delusional ramblings about how the medical establishment are covering up the cure-all effects of ingesting and topically applying the fruit juice equivalent of equine effluent.  Apparently I’m to assume that his 15 year foray into faith-healing is supposed to make me run out and buy his snake oil.  Here is the blathering, disjointed ramblings deposited in the comment section of my post:

What makes me both Sad & MAD is if the Lame Stream Media is not in some kind of a conspiracy between them Doctors and Drug companies, he may still be alive!  IF you know another way to discribe how a “Natural Healing Miracle” which very effectively treats and/or cures over 90 different injuries and illnesses both on the insides and the outsides of our bodies is NOT widely known?

For FIFTEEN YEARS i have been drinking daily & when needed, using topically. what I consider to be a true MIRACLE!  (And it is a “Junior Miracle” when this Agnostic Atheist Activist calls any thing a “miracle.”)  For some FOURTEEN Years I have tried over and over again to get some news organization do the necessary in-depth research to verify what is so good it even after 15 years,  AMAZES ME!

There are some 300 brands out there, this is not a ad, it is VALUABLE information.  It is the juice of a fruit grown in the tropics all around the world and thus has many names. The one it is most known as NONI JUICE!  I am 76, started drinking it when I was 62 and I have NOT had any of the typical Aches and Pains of age since! Still do not need eye glasses, no more sore muscles or any Flu. Better Sleep and Dreams, STOPS the pain of burns when it is applied!

And, drinking Noni Juice will decrease a persons desire to smoke to where they have NO Desire left!   My experience is that it is around 80% as effective as morphine for pain and it BOOSTS our immune systems OVER  150%!!  So can someone give me a good reason WHY something which many MILLIONS KNOW what I have said about it is true is NOT as well known as I sumit somthing this great should be?  I believe if every person did know all about the really fantastic things Noni Juice does, the Drug companies would lose MANY TRILLIONS of Dollars!

I’ve decided that rather than just deleting his comment and writing it off as just a socially inept faux pas by a crotchety old man on the verge of dementia, I would take the time to give his post the proper skeptical treatment it deserves.  Let’s begin, shall we?

What makes me both Sad & MAD is if the Lame Stream Media is not in some kind of a conspiracy between them Doctors and Drug companies, he may still be alive!

First thing is first- If you want someone to take you seriously, don’t call the media the “Lame Stream Media”, that’s so five years ago.  

There is no conspiracy between the media, doctors and drug companies.  If a natural product is proven to have real medical benefit, drug companies will formulate and patent drugs using it as a main ingredient and in the process line their pockets with billions more dollars.  Maybe they will argue that the FDA or other regulatory agency should consider the natural product questionable for consumption (see Stevia)- then I might see a conspiracy.  As it stands, drug companies are only too happy to harness the power of miracle drugs- for better or for worse.

Doctors have to be careful how they present products to patients.  Unlike you, Neil, they have professional licenses that prevent them from just making shit up.  They actually have to be forthright and honest about what the proven effects of products are, they can’t just shout in ALL CAPS that it is fan-fucking-tastic!!!  My doctor, for instance, suggested once that I take St. John’s Wort- and rightly described it as a mild anti-depressant

As for the “Lame Stream Media”, rest assured that there are plenty of woo peddlers out there- and the LSM is only too happy to oblige them.  Just because none of them have shouted from the rooftops in support of your brand of horseshit does not mean it will never happen.  Rest assured, some pathetic research lackey at a major network will be rushed for a segment for the evening newscast and stumble across your “miracle-piss” one of these days.

Can I ask you this you credulous half-witted ass-hat: What cancer did Jack Layton die of?  Do you even know?  What makes you think that fruit juice could have averted his death?  We will get to the specifics of this claim in my follow up post.

IF you know another way to discribe how a “Natural Healing Miracle” which very effectively treats and/or cures over 90 different injuries and illnesses both on the insides and the outsides of our bodies is NOT widely known?

Does your fruit juice cause you to lose the ability to form proper sentence structure, Neil?  Should we put that on the warning label?  Specifically, which of the 90 different ailments did Jack suffer from?  I call bullshit.

For FIFTEEN YEARS i have been drinking daily & when needed, using topically. what I consider to be a true MIRACLE!  (And it is a “Junior Miracle” when this Agnostic Atheist Activist calls any thing a “miracle.”)  For some FOURTEEN Years I have tried over and over again to get some news organization do the necessary in-depth research to verify what is so good it even after 15 years,  AMAZES ME!

Srsly? FIFTEEN years?  Holy mother of God incarnate!  I would have just been like “Oh, tl;dr, who gives a flying…” but since you put it in ALL MOTHERFUCKING CAPS like that, it totally seems amazing!! I’ve gone 15 years before with no major health issues, but FIFTEEN YEARS- shit, that is like the same amount of time-but better- cause you shouted it in ALL CAPS!!!

I’m getting a little verklempt….talk amongst yourselves, I’ll give you a topic. Neil C. Reinhardt is neither agnostic nor an activist…..discuss.

There are some 300 brands out there, this is not a ad, it is VALUABLE information.  It is the juice of a fruit grown in the tropics all around the world and thus has many names. The one it is most known as NONI JUICE!  I am 76, started drinking it when I was 62 and I have NOT had any of the typical Aches and Pains of age since! Still do not need eye glasses, no more sore muscles or any Flu. Better Sleep and Dreams, STOPS the pain of burns when it is applied!

And, drinking Noni Juice will decrease a persons desire to smoke to where they have NO Desire left!   My experience is that it is around 80% as effective as morphine for pain and it BOOSTS our immune systems OVER  150%!!

I’m glad, Neil, that this is not an ad- because if it was- it would be the equivalent of parking a sausage cart outside a PETA convention.  VALUABLE, when spelled in ALL-CAPS, must have a different meaning than “valuable”- since one can hardly call the information you offer even “somewhat helpful”.

I’ going to, for the sake of fairness, investigate your claims about the tropical swill known as Noni Juice.  You do want us “skeptics” to be “skeptical”, right?  To not just brush aside a claim but honestly and forthrightly investigate it, correct?  Or are you saying that people should be rightly skeptical of some things, like Gods, but ignorantly credulous whenever you cough out a personal anecdote? My next post will cover this in more depth, but let’s have an overview, shall we?

Noni Juice- The Slightly Useful Juice From A Mildly Useful Fruit

Noni (M. citrifolia) is a tropical tree related to the coffee plant.  The tree bears fruit all year round with a disgustingly foul odor while ripening.  It is affectionately known to locals as “cheese fruit” or “vomit fruit” since the fruit smells vaguely like a teenager’s unwashed socks after drunkenly stumbling through the puke stained hallways of a week-long house party.  Sounds tasty already!

Turns out, the fruit is primarily considered a famine food, used by people only when they are so hungry that they would eat just about anything- one step below eating half rotten rat carcasses but one step above drinking goat urine.   Some cultures use the fruit as a staple food, and almost all cultures in M. citrifolia’s indigenous range use it for the purposes of traditional medicine.  I intend to write a follow up post that discusses this at more depth.

Neil says that noni juice is a cure all for various ailments that he has never experienced since sacrificing his taste buds to woo.  What he doesn’t tell you is that he is a very active senior- someone who has various other reasons not to expect poor health.  Noni is just the woo that gets the false positive.  Let’s look at his laundry list of claims:

  • No aches and pains of age- Physically active seniors do not experience “aches and pains” in either degree or frequency as compared with sedentary seniors.  Unless you can offer several comparative studies or have a parallel universe twin who does everything else the same save drink Woo Juice, this claim means nothing.
  • Still do not need eye glasses- Yeah…about that- my 83 year old grandfather had smoked since he was 8 years old and had subsisted on a diet of fast food for roughly 20 years.  He died last spring, but he never needed glasses.  His eyesight was sharper than mine, 50 years his junior.  Does that mean that Big Macs- or Big Macs combined with Marlboros- are the key to great eyesight?
  • No more sore muscles- Again, regular exercise acclimatizes muscles to regular strain.  I played football for 6 years and had few if any muscle aches, but when I got a desk job I was in pain from carrying my toddler.  When I started exercising regularly again, my muscle pain stopped, and I can now take a two and a half hour hike with my now seven year old son on my shoulders and not feel a thing.
  • No flu- Anecdotally, my grandmother (84 years young) has not had the flu in 25 years.  She doesn’t drink noni juice- though she does drink brandy infused with garlic every morning.  I bet that tastes better than your vomit-fruit smoothies.
  • Stops the pain of burns- Yeah, water does that too.  I consider the covalent bond of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom to be a “Junior miracle”….next.
  • Reduces desire to smoke- So does brushing one’s teeth.  At least that tastes good and prevents cavities.
  • Your experience as a morphine substitute-  Here is where it gets interesting, because you said earlier that you have been in top shape since taking Magic Woo Juice, yet you have direct experience using it as a painkiller?  Orly?
  • Boosts Immune System- This is classic woo code for “It does something, but I don’t want to get specific”.  If you did get sick, then you would have been sicker.  If you get sick often, you would have been sick oftener.  It is a phrase that means absolutely nothing. 150% implies that you have data to back this up.  Do explain….

So can someone give me a good reason WHY something which many MILLIONS KNOW what I have said about it is true is NOT as well known as I sumit somthing this great should be?  I believe if every person did know all about the really fantastic things Noni Juice does, the Drug companies would lose MANY TRILLIONS of Dollars!

I can give you a good reason Neil.  Because your claims are anecdotal and not backed by any reputable research or science.  What studies have been done on Vomit-Fruit Juice have shown it to be not much better than placebo in treating various illnesses.  It is a scam, one that you believe because you invested you hard earned money in.   But I’m a generous guy.  I’m about to give your swill the treatment it deserves. My next post will be a compilation of all the unfounded claims and scientific information I can gather on your unpalatable Magic Woo Swill.  I’ll make it my life’s work to get my post on noni juice to page one on a Google search.

You, Neil C. Reinhardt, are a credulous asshole troll, and you barked up the wrong fucking tree.



Death Of A Statesman: Thoughts On Jack Layton.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

-Jack Layton, In his last letter to Canadians.

Yesterday morning Canada lost a great voice for social justice.

Jack Layton, leader of the New Democratic Party of Canada, died surrounded by friends and family- not of the prostate cancer he very publicly battled over the past few years- but of a new cancer that he was diagnosed with just one month ago.

Jack’s legacy can not be overstated.  His tireless work during his 30 years in public office of fighting for the poor and homeless- first as a Toronto City Councillor and later as an MP and Leader of the NDP harken back to the days when politicians were guided into politics out of principled idealism to make Canada better for Canadians.  In an age where politicians seem to care about staying the course, Jack asked us to abandon the well worn trail and search together for a better path.  He sought public office not just to win but to be a voice for those most affected by policies and most disaffected by politics.

Jack laboured his entire career for those who needed a voice the most.  He was an advocate for Aboriginal issues, and helped craft the Government letter of apology for the horrors of residential schools.  He was instrumental in starting the White Ribbon Campaign in response to the Montreal Massacre in 1991- raising awareness of violence against women.  He offered up his home as equity to keep the campaign running, and its first headquarters was the bedroom of Jack’s son, Micheal, now a Toronto city Councillor himself.   He was instrumental in putting Toronto at the forefront of AIDS activism, becoming one of the greatest political champions of the issue. He lobbied Council for a Gay and Lesbian Pride Day in Toronto as early as 1989. His advocacy in Parliament of Same-sex Marriage is no doubt the reason Canadians today can boast of our strides in social equity.

In Toronto, Jack fought and won the battle to make the city one of the most accessible in North America for cyclists.  His commitment to the simple ways we can help the environment will have a lasting impact in Toronto in particular and Canada as a whole.  He was one of the architects behind the Toronto Atmospheric Fund, which diverted monies from the sale of City land toward green initiatives.  His legacy includes wind power initiatives in Toronto, and Enwave, an environmentally sustainable energy company half owned by the City of Toronto- a company that uses Deep Lake Water Cooling to air condition highrises in the city center.

I think that, in politics as in life, we need to be guided by an ideal and govern in reality.

Perhaps the most important thing Jack did was show Canadians that we could be a community of equals, people who work together and for each other; that we could be a country proud of how we treat each other- that social justice and equity were not Utopian pipe dreams, but responsible and attainable goals.  He convinced enough of us that we could do good to make his party the official opposition in the last election.  He did this with a party that was, when he took the helm in 2003, a marginalized socialist labour party that was a perennial also-ran in the Federal landscape.  Who knows what he could have accomplished if his life were not cut short.

The last week or two, I had been mulling over writing a post about what I want to see in my political leaders in response to some of the talk with Americans about the upcoming 2012 elections.  I think if I had have thought long and hard about it, I would have told them to look up Jack Layton.  I think that, in politics as in life, we need to be guided by an ideal and govern in reality.  Jack did this better than anyone, and he made both look possible.  There is always an ideal- a society that exemplifies all those things that are best in humanity- but the real world doesn’t always make it simple or practical to get there.  When you look back at a career that spans almost my entire lifetime, Jack never sacrificed his vision- he never lost sight of Shangri-La.  He was always moving in the direction of Better- always inching toward the best city- the best Country- he could give his fellow Canadians.  Yes, there were realities.  Yes, there were stumbling blocks.  It would be so easy to just lose sight of where you are going and settle for what you have.  The great leaders get it.  They see the reality and ask how they can shape it, they see the stumbling block and ask how they might remove it.

  An Ideologue goes charging blind headlong toward the precipice, a Politician tries to keep us happy on our own side, a Leader asks how we might bridge the gap.  Jack was a leader. 

Here is to you, Jack.

Here is to Heroes, those whose spirit transcends mortality.
Here is to Leaders, those whose determination brings us together.

Jack Layton: July 18 1950- August 22 2011

Here is to Visionaries, those whose eyes are fixed on a better tomorrow.
Here is to Great Men, those whose ranks have lost another.
My Hero. A Leader, a Visionary, a Great Man,
history can do you no justice- it is up to us-
to make our future a testament to your life,
to your vision, to your spirit.
Here, my friends, is to Heroes,
and a man who saw a Hero in us all.
I’ll miss you Jack.