“Thomas Effing Jefferson”

Episode twenty-six of the Atheist News Podcast has posted.

Texas keeps threatening to secede from the union, and at this point you wouldn’t catch me trying to talk them out of it. The Texas Board of Education has just voted to remove Thomas Jefferson from the state history curriculum.

Thomas.

F*cking.

Jefferson.

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

If you aren’t an American, you probably already know who Thomas Jefferson is and can skip ahead a bit, but for those of you educated aboard this sinking ship of a country I live in, Thomas Jefferson was a humanist and enlightenment thinker that penned the Declaration of Independence, the Jefferson Bible and served as a US congressman twice, was the second governor of Virginia, was the US Ambassador to France and aided the French Revolution, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington, the second Vice President of the United States under John Adams and served as the third President of the United States during which time he bought the Louisiana Territory (which INCLUDED PARTS OF NORTHERN TEXAS, you fucking cocksuckers) from France, DOUBLING SIZE OF THE UNITED STATES. After that he founded the University of Virginia, which he designed himself.

And if after all that, if you still doubt he was a patriot, he DIED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

So, in honor of one of the most forward-thinking men in history, I have decided to against writing a summary for the Atheist News podcast this week. Rather, I would like to honor one of the greatest testaments to free-thought ever committed to paper: the US Declaration of Independence. I’m not going to post it in its entirety, in fact, I am not going to post anything from the actual Declaration; you can find that easily enough online (and if you haven’t read it, I strongly urge to you to so.) What I am going to do is post a snippet of Jefferson’s first draft of the Declaration that was so radical it was ultimately struck from the final draft by his peers in Congress, despite his protests.

So–without further ado–I give you Thomas Jefferson on King George III and slavery:

He has waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating

it’s most sacred rights of life & liberty in the persons of

a distant people who never offended him, captivating & carrying

them to slavery in another hemisphere, or to incur miserable

death in their transportations thither. This piratical warfare,

the opprobrium of infidel powers, is the warfare of the Christian

king of Great Britain, determined to keep open a market where MEN

should be bought & sold

If you live in Texas and you aren’t a glossy-eyed revisionist historian, I strongly suggest that now is the time to invest yourself heavily in local politics.

Atheist News this week: this, this, this, this, this and this.

Subscribe (FYI: it’s NSFW): [ iTunes | Zune | RSS ]

Stream the latest episode here.

Want to participate? Join the Atheist News Group.

Brother Richard

Take that Ken Hamm!

Also, Brian if your reading, I was about to send you an email suggesting the equation should be on a t-shirt. Glad it is! My order is coming soon.

Brother Richard

From the TED site:

From the Questions of good and evil, right and wrong are commonly thought unanswerable by science. But Sam Harris argues that science can — and should — be an authority on moral issues, shaping human values and setting out what constitutes a good life.

Great stuff! In my opinion this is the next arena freethinkers must do battle with the religious. We truly do have the ethical high ground.

Brother Richard

Check out this YouTube video:

Wow! First, the Sabbath is on Saturday.

Second, zero of the founding fathers were Catholic. Therefore, Lent was meaningless to them.

Third, neither of these men should be take seriously. King is a creationist who believes the Earth is 6,000 years old, and Beck is follows a religion based on mythologies not even 200 years old and a conspiracy theorist.

Forth, see one, two, and three.

Brother Richard
(props: Atheist Media)

In the below TED video, Dan Ariely does a great job explaining other factors that influences on our decisions.

Brother Richard

You can stream the episode here. Or listen to the two part YouTube version below:

Please join me in contacting Governor Crist’s office and other media outlets. At the very least, voters deserve to know how the Chief Executive of Florida feels about his non-theistic constituents. His office number is: (850) 488-7146. His email address is Charlie.Crist@MyFlorida.com.

Brother Richard

“A prayer to Elmer, patron saint of lost socks”

The twenty-fifth episode of the Atheist News Podcast has posted.

If someone wants to bother trying to explain the Holy Tri-Force to me–and they manage to convince me that three things can be three things and also be one thing at the same time–I’ll stop calling Catholics polytheists; until then they are out of luck. The saints and angels business doesn’t do much for your cause, I might add.

Polytheists or no, they are still jerks. Another thing that needs to be explained to me is what the hell orphans and spousally-abused women have to do with giving health care to the married partners of gay people. Or how giving health care to the married partners of gay people could possibly crack the $22 million dollar piggy bank that the District of Columbia gave the church. Just how many openly gay people is the Catholic Church employing these days? I wonder if they hire atheists, I could use some health care.

Speaking of Texas (like that segue?): they are plagued by a brand new tidal wave of stupid. If you are an atheist / skeptic / normal person and live anywhere near Amarillo, you should stake out the local army surplus store and ambush these goons with an impromptu theatrical performance of “Tear Me Down” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Speaking of stupid goons (woah, this one actually made sense): if you live in Virginia, keep your eyes peeled for a van load of Christians handing out fliers blaming women for being raped. Yay ChrIslam.

Yet another anti-gay politician got busted courting mansex. I think Iago said it best.

I know it’s not particularly “atheist news” but you get two–not one–but TWO weeks of Jenny McCarthy News. Why? Because I am a sadist. But the biggest news of all is that apparently Richard likes his ladies a bit on the grotesque side. Who knew?

Last but not least, we did record an ATHEIST NEWS SPECIAL REPORT</reverb> interview with Michael Middlebrooks, the man that the governor of Florida allegedly spazzed out on for being an atheist. I am editing it now and it should be posted within a day or so.

The Governor was unavailable for comment.

Subscribe (FYI: it’s NSFW): [ iTunes | Zune | RSS ]

Stream the latest episode here.

Want to participate? Join the Atheist News Group.

Brother Richard

I would love to see one of these about atheists. Those tolerant of other religions feel the same way about us.

Brother Richard
(Props: Cyanide & Happiness)

Good stuff! And you didn’t even have to get a degree in Biblical Studies like me to enjoy it.

Brother Richard

The time is long past to fully honor atheism as a viable understanding of reality and a philosophy that can provide meaning for engaging in a moral and productive life. The continuing prejudice against atheistic proponents is tantamount to racial bigotry, gender bias or homophobia. One hopes that more national leaders will come out of the theological closet and admit their religious reservations and resistance. Hopefully, last week’s meeting was a courageous first step in that process.

From your mouth to Darwin’s ears Rich!

Brother Richard

Religion, the original debt consolidation program.

Brother Richard

via Atheist Alliance International:

US Florida Governor Charlie Crist has been accused of assaulting an individual for identifying himself as an atheist during a campaign event held in St. Petersburg, Florida.

A member of Atheists of Florida – an AAI affiliate – reported that he unexpectedly came across a campaign event being held for Governor Charlie Crist upon leaving a pizzeria in St. Petersburg on Friday, March 5, 2010.  At the event, the individual found a chance to introduce himself to the governor and, shaking his hand, asked the Governor if “he really believes that the letters he sent to Jerusalem prevent hurricanes from hitting Florida”.

After a heated and brief discussion with the Governor, the individual identified himself as not believing in God; to which the Governor assulted the individual, tearing off a “Charlie Christ for US Senate 2010″ from the individual’s chest, then screaming at the victim that he “feels sorry for” him before turning his back to the assaulted victim to continue his campaign event.

Atheists of Florida is demanding an official apology for this outrageous behavior. Imagine if any public official had reacted this way to a Jew or a Muslim expressing their worldview, by invading their personal space to rip off a campaign sticker, then screaming that he “feels sorry” for them!

For more information, contact:  info@AtheistsofFlorida.net.

As I post this, there has been no reports of this in the media. If this happened there sure should be.

Brother Richard

Who would have thought that in 2010, it would still be acceptable to be bigoted toward a group of Americans?

I am proud of my friends at the SCA, and happy that Atheist Nexus is one of their endorsing organizations.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(Props: ChannelATE.com)

This is classic.

I love the expression on the guy’s face in the background.

Brother Richard

A Bill of Rights coffee mug with certain rights that disappear when hot liquid is added.

What a great way to pay tribute to the wonderful Patriot Act.

Brother Richard

I’ve always been a fan of Mother Angelica.

Brother Richard
(Props: Jackaraia)

Brother Richard
(Props: Luke Surl Comics)

For when you are just starting out, just follow the rules of Mega-Church Pastoral Care 101:

Once your successful, remember the motto of  Mega-Church Pastoral Care 201:

Then your set until your first scandal.

Brother Richard

From the Dallas Morning News:

The men were charged with a single count of arson involving a house of worship, a crime punishable by five to 99 years in prison. But authorities say more charges will soon be filed against the two men in 10 church fires and three church break-ins in Van Zandt, Henderson and Smith counties.

Search warrants filed late Monday and Tuesday in Tyler indicate that authorities began collecting a wide array of evidence within weeks after the fires began. They spotted the same pairs of shoe tracks at several of the fires and break-ins, and later connected those tracks with shoes or boots worn by Bourque and McAllister.

After several attacks, authorities recovered matching DNA samples from rocks or bricks used to break into church buildings. Several of the warrants were used to obtain DNA samples from the two men.

A search of Bourque’s home after his arrest recovered books titled Demon Possession and The Atheist’s Way.

Also seized from Bourque’s residence were a Chinese-made SKS assault rifle, a Ruger 7 mm rifle and two .22-caliber rifles, a GPS and several pairs of brown shoes.

To my dear friends who were planning on forwarding this article to me as an example of the consequences of atheism, let me save you some time.

First, this idiot should go to prison for a long time. His alleged actions are despicable and an excusable.

Second, don’t forget Bourque had a book on demon possession, and left graffiti on the wall of a store bathroom of a flaming upside down cross. Why does this matter? Because atheists not only don’t believe in god(s), they don’t believe in demons or devils! How many times must I get e-mails from you asking why I hate God. Or why I love Satan? I consider them equally not real!

Finally, if the presence of an atheist book is worthy evidence of crime, let’s investigate how criminals have copies of the Bible in their homes.

Brother Richard

I’ve always loved this question.

Brother Richard
(props: LOL god)

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”

Needless to say, this has spawned quite a bit of controversy.

Sir Elton now says that he didn’t know Parade was going to make this a sidebar in the article and told Chicago’s WGN-TV, “Parade magazine did a kind of a sneaky thing and put it on their website that I said this.”

Here’s a video interview of John commenting on the article:

First, all I can say is, why not? Parade would be crazy not to promote this kind of statement. They are about selling their magazine, and controversy sells.

Second, while I respect Elton and love his music, his reinterpreting of Jesus to be a “man for all people” is quite silly. But a perfect example of what Christians have been doing for 2000 years. I personally like the Jesus in Elton’s classic: Levon.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(Props: lolgod)

via lolgod.blogspot.com

Either this kid can’t spell, or she has a future as a screamo headbanger.

Brother Richard

While attending, and speaking, at the TED Conference, Sam Harris was interviewed by Southern California Radio. In it he does a great job explaining the origin of our morals.

February 15, 2010 on Southern California Public Radio:

According to the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, an amazing 92% of Americans believe in God or a universal spirit—even one in five of self-identified atheists believe in a higher power. Ardent secularist Sam Harris isn’t deterred by those numbers, and in fact has made it his life’s mission to force the faithful to question their religious faith—Harris would even argue that the future of civilization is dependent on it. Questioning commonly held assertions and wisdom found in the Bible; seeking out debates with theologists across the spectrum, from Judaism to Christianity to Islam; and all but picking a fight with God, Sam Harris takes his secular crusade to Patt’s microphone.

Download or stream MP3 here.

Good job Sam! It’s good to see you back in the fray.

Brother Richard
(props: Atheist Media)

Brother Richard

Quick, someone toss me some soy milk!

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

via blogs.chron.com

I spend a lot of time bashing the religiously dominated Republican Party. So to be fair, here’s a reminder that they don’t have the corner on crazy.

Brother Richard

I wish I had the patience to make something like this.

Brother Richard

I guess our designer made us with a screw loose.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(Props: Monsignor PZ)

Brother Richard

“Deaf and Dumb -or- How not to kidnap 33 children”

The twenty-forth episode of the Atheist News Podcast has posted.

I am sick and high on cold medicine for this show, Richard is… well, Richard.

We had a spot of technical difficulty, but we soldiered through it. I am still sick and high on cold medicine as I post this, so I am going to keep it short.
Don’t forget to check out the new poll I just put up!

Oh, and here is the picture I promised in the show:

Atheist News this week: Christian group utilizes gross misrepresentation to dodge hot lesbians, hate crimes are now belief systems, Jenny McCarthy may have to go back to scratching her crotch and burping for a living, signs are bad, bus + kids + mad dash for the border = ??? and finally, one more state that doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on the federal constitution.

Subscribe (FYI: it’s NSFW): [ iTunes | Zune | RSS ]

Stream the latest episode here.

Want to participate? Join the Atheist News Group.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

I love it!

Brother Richard

via lolgod

Hilarious! I want this shirt.

Brother Richard

Texas Constitution, Article 1, Section 4:

“…nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being.”

My very good friend Noelle (President of the Secular Center) was interviewed by Fox News Houston about the issue. Here’s the news-clip:

Transcript available here.

Great job Noelle!

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

PRNewswire:

The “Best of Penn Says: Religion” DVD, a compilation of episodes from “Penn Says,” the original web series from Crackle.com, Sony Pictures Entertainment’s online video network, is the ultimate collection of Penn Jillette’s most controversial, completely uncensored assessments. The DVD, now available for purchase on Amazon.com, also includes three never-before-seen episodes.

The self-described “larger, louder half” of veteran magic-and-comedy team Penn and Teller has pioneered the Art of the Rant in the age of blogging and vlogging. Penn is considered and describes himself as verbose on and offstage and is obsessed with the truth and how people distort it. Recently, Penn Jillette has been an outspoken voice among the political community; voicing his belief in a smaller government and peace. Whether it be his discussion of “Glenn Beck’s Tea Party at the Alamo” or his belief that Madonna is entitled to adopting Mercy from Malawi, Penn Jillette always speaks his mind and won’t hold back, especially on one of his favorite subjects…religion.

SYNOPSIS
In this up close and personal web series, Penn the Magician, Inventor, Philosopher, Social Critic and Celebrity Atheist discusses, teaches, and tears apart common misconceptions and bares his brain for all to see. What’s the difference between Agnosticism and Atheism? How much of a role should religion play in the major political races? Is proselytizing an act of kindness or just an obtrusive annoyance? When Penn Jillette has an opinion, it’s a safe bet he won’t hold back. Each episode is a new insight or agitation.

DVD Special Features Include:
Bonus Episode: Glen Beck (Magic Underwear)
Bonus Episode: Jerome Horowitz Theory of Politics
Bonus Episode: Caucuses are Stupid

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(props: WTTF)

Blogger and freelance editor, Shaun Usher has found a little gem which should make the skeptics proud.

In November of 1905, an enraged Mark Twain sent this superb letter to J. H. Todd, a patent medicine salesman who had just attempted to sell bogus medicine to the author by way of a letter and leaflet delivered to his home. According to the literature Twain received (p1,p2,p3,p4), the ‘medicine’ in question – The Elixir of Life – could cure such ailments as meningitis (which had previously killed Twain’s daughter in 1896) and diphtheria (which had also killed his 19-month-old son). Twain, himself of ill-health at the time and very recently widowed after his wife suffered heart failure, was understandably furious and dictated the following letter to his secretary, which he then signed.

Below is a copy of the actual letter (each can be clicked to enlarge). Below them is a transcript.

Nov. 20. 1905

J. H. Todd

1212 Webster St.

San Francisco, Cal.

Dear Sir,

Your letter is an insoluble puzzle to me. The handwriting is good and exhibits considerable character, and there are even traces of intelligence in what you say, yet the letter and the accompanying advertisements profess to be the work of the same hand. The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. It puzzles me to make out how the same hand could have constructed your letter and your advertisements. Puzzles fret me, puzzles annoy me, puzzles exasperate me; and always, for a moment, they arouse in me an unkind state of mind toward the person who has puzzled me. A few moments from now my resentment will have faded and passed and I shall probably even be praying for you; but while there is yet time I hasten to wish that you may take a dose of your own poison by mistake, and enter swiftly into the damnation which you and all other patent medicine assassins have so remorselessly earned and do so richly deserve.

Adieu, adieu, adieu!

Mark Twain

Brother Richard

via atheistrev.com

Sometimes he hits the nail on the head perfectly.

Brother Richard

Download MP3 (28:23min, 13MB)

Thanks to David Driscoll for editing the show together. And thanks to Tom Melchiorre for giving me the opportunity to write the article.

Let me know what you think.

Brother Richard

via pictureisunrelated.com

Insert your own Catholic priest joke here.

Brother Richard

Click to stream live.

From the website:

In this month’s audio podcast, Jende Huang drops in on the HEADS meeting and speaks to some leaders from across the movement about their upcoming plans for 2010.

Links from this month’s episode:

FreeThoughtAction: FreeThoughtAction.org

United Coalition of Reason: UnitedCor.org

Atheist Nexus: AtheistNexus.org

Center for Inquiry: CenterForInquiry.net

The Brights Net: The-Brights.net

Brother Richard

Click image to enlarge.

Well I guess if Batman, a mere human, could take down the entire Justice League if needed, he could handle deities.

Brother Richard

Here’s a great quote from him:

I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn’t do it. I can’t always pray when I feel like it. In the first place, I’m sort of an atheist. I like Jesus and all, but I don’t care too much for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoy the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He was alive, they were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did was keep letting Him down.”
— J.D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye)

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(props: Ape Not Monkey)

“Haiti, Haiti, Haiti HEY!”

The twenty-third episode of the Atheist News Podcast has posted.

This is pretty-much the “Haiti Show.” When disaster strikes, so–apparently–do the disingenuous and the mentally unsound.

We talk a lot about the atheist “identity” and toss around some ideas and opinions about the place where charity and the nebulous identity of atheism meet. Not that we actually reach any conclusions, mind you.

And hey, I promised on this show that I’d paste in a link to the official form for complaining to the IRS about the abuse of tax exempt status. Well, here it is! http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f13909.pdf

Atheist News this week: You can’t eat bibles, Pat Robertson drools on himself incoherently, Stayin’ Alive: Scientology style, Canada knows how to deal with naughty churches, Veil or Vote and finally, someone notices that electrostatic magnetic ion attraction technology doesn’t work.

If you want to give money to help Haiti, you could do worse than checking out what Richard Dawkins has set up: http://givingaid.richarddawkins.net/

Like it? Share it.

Want to participate? Join the Atheist News Group.

Remember, as always, it is NSFW.

Download Episode 23

Brother Richard

via blog.cagle.com

Brother Richard

Why aren’t there more TV shows about atheism?: I think I’ve covered this topic before, but I’m going to cover it again because I think it’s important since we’re allegedly in the midst of an ongoing culture war (Fox News and the religious channels claim this daily). If Hollywood is in the business of pushing an ultra left wing Godless atheistic secular humanist homosexual agenda on America’s children, where are the good atheists on TV? Heck, where are just the plain old atheists?

Bones is an atheist. Most of the people behind “Family Guy” are atheists (at least Seth MacFarlane is). Leonard and Sheldon are atheists on “The Big Bang Theory.” Those are the only shows that I can think of right now that feature atheist characters (or atheistic themes) in a somewhat positive light. The rest of television is full of “believers.”

And why is that? Why are there so many “believers” on TV if there are so few in evil Hollywood? Could it be that Hollywood, like the rest of America, is chock full of religious people that believe in stuff and they want to reflect that not only because it’s what the majority of the audience believes but it’s what they, Hollywood, really believes?

Think about it. Where do the people that work in Hollywood come from? They come from everywhere else. Yeah, they may go to work in Hollywood and wear black turtlenecks all day, but they keep the fire and brimstone they were taught in Sunday school and it comes through in their work, even if they’re not aware of it. Atheistic characters, by and large, always have to get their comeuppance because they don’t believe in the truth (or the show has the atheistic characters praying out loud in a stressful situation, “proving” that atheism is just contrarianism and nothing else).

So, in conclusion, we’re probably never going to see much in the way of widespread positive atheism depicted in anything. So what exactly is this culture war about anyway?

Enjoy, and feel free to comment.

The New Atheists

Brother Richard

Speaking of restoring people’s faith, I think this recent Ape Not Monkey comic strip sums it up best:

Click image to enlarge.

Brother Richard

via thenewatheist.blogspot.com

Oh boy this is messed up? Maybe it is just my dirty mind, but those abs do look like another body part.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard
(Props: New Atheist)

Brother Richard

via thefrogman.me

Brother Richard

via myconfinedspace.com

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

This interview with Jewish reporter Sam Rubin is very revealing:

Props to Sam. Gibson is obviously a very intimidating individual.

So do we the rational community have a dog in this fight? Do we boycott his movies?

Brother Richard

Brother Richard

Can help go to far?

The people of Haiti need our help. No question about it. I personally don’t care if  the help comes from atheists, Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. But how are we supposed to handle this situation?

From WENN.com:

John Travolta is using his air miles to help the Haiti relief effort by planning a mercy mission to the earthquake ravaged nation.

The movie star and celebrity member of the Church of Scientology has become the latest big name to dig deep to help the victims of Tuesday’s 7.0-magnitude tremor.

He says, “I have arranged for a plane to take down some volunteer ministers and some supplies and some medics.

Is it correct to tell someone to bring their aid, but keep their proselytizing to themselves? What if it prevents them from helping at all? The Bible says what do it benefit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul. Is there a freethinking antithesis to this?

While we ponder these questions, we should donate to the Non-Believers Giving Aid fund.

Brother Richard

via comicblasphemy.com

Brother Richard

The plight of nontheists is nothing compared to that of African-Americans and the homosexual community. However, we piggy-back on their dreams so our sons and daughters can also enter the promised land of equality.

Brother Richard

The saying, “shooting fish in a barrel” comes to mind.

I Almost feel sorry for the guy.

Brother Richard

You should see it when her head spins around.

Brother Richard
(via: Awkward Family Photos)

Okay, I’m a nerd.

Brother Richard

“Poopzilla”

The twenty-second episode of the Atheist News Podcast has posted.

Richard is back from the “Heads VI” meeting and we talk a bit about what went on during this pow-wow of the high muckity-mucks of atheism. We didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend on it during the show, but I promise we’ll get Richard either on the Chariots of Iron podcast or on a special “extra” edition of the Atheist News Podcast to talk more about the meeting.

As an extra-special treat during our closing credits, ALROmega agreed to let us turn you out with a cheeky little track he just dropped called “Original Front Hug.” [NSFW] which includes a shout out to Atheist News! BAM.

And probably not something you want to let your kids listen to, but if they are already listening to the damn show I don’t suppose that they have much of their innocence left to tear away from them… so uh…

Atheist News this week: Irish posse isn’t going to take this shit lying down, Jesus battles the living dead, Bloomberg finally starts pandering to us, the BHA also isn’t going to take this shit lying down, tickets to heaven, I am tired of Uganda, crazy prophet should have seen this coming and DON’T GO TO DUBAI. SERIOUSLY, DON’T.

Want to participate? Join the Atheist News Group.

Remember, as always, it is NSFW.

Download Episode 22

Brother Richard

Show your support! Buy the shirt here.

Brother Richard

In the meantime, Happy New Year to you all! It is hard to believe that is was only 10 short years ago that the world ended.

I don’t remember all of this, but Spock is not capable of such a human emotion as lying.

Brother Richard

Brother Richard