Archive for June, 2006

More Creationism Museum Fun

Published
by
Holy Prepuce
on June 12, 2006
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I recently was privileged to introduce to you Petersburg, Kentucky's pride and joy, the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum. I know you are revving the engines of the John 3:16-Mobile as we speak, but if you examine the museum's website carefully, you will notice a small obstacle to your pilgrimage: the damned thing isn't actually built yet.

How is a poor sinner to help, you wonder? Well, donations are of course appreciated, as are charter memberships. But if you really want to save our children from the Luciferian cesspool of "evolutionary natural history," why not sign up to pray for the museum? By entering your email address, you'll make a one year commitment to fast one day per month, and pray daily that God will "glorify His name in the specific requests relayed to me."

These specific requests, conveniently available online or by weekly email, are grouped by department. So, for instance, the Warehouse Department makes this request:

Pallet-Wrapping Machine

Department: Warehouse

Purpose: Purchase of a pallet-wrapping machine.

Specifics: Please pray as we look into purchasing a pallet-wrapping machine--that we would find the best price.

Deadline: ASAP


...while Museum Operations asks the following:

Scheduling and Tracking of Museum Projects

Department: Museum Operations

Purpose: To develop a system in an effort to track high-volume tasks for specific projects (i.e., 55 video productions, 160 exhibit areas, etc.)

Specifics: Please pray for the Museum Team to have wisdom and discernment in building the schedule and tracking system to ensure the museum will add areas of each exhibit accurately to portray the intended message and that we can meet our scheduled deadlines.

Deadline: November 30, 2005

...and don't forget Video Production, busily at work on "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made," and thus hoping you'll join them in prayer that the post-production editing will be completed on schedule.

Now, it’s true that those Godless cardiologists up at Harvard may have debunked the whole prayer-speeds-recovery-from-heart-surgery thing. But they can't prove the Almighty won't get you the Kaufman Pallet Master EXPA 25 below invoice, if you ask Him nicely.

© 2007. Visit Holy Prepuce! to read and post comments, to search archived posts by topic (e.g. Culture, Smut), and for "fair use" disclaimer regarding use of copyrighted works.

Trump Taj Mahal

Published
by
Holy Prepuce
on June 6, 2006
.
If one is to keep company with Mrs. Prepuce on certain nights of the week, one must subject one's self to certain television programs, of a sort to which one might not otherwise subject one's self.

Tonight, the program was the season finale of "The Apprentice." This show follows the adventures of aspirants to moguldom, and therefore includes such common MBA tasks as engaging Michael J. Fox to play ice hockey at the Trump Taj Mahal hotel/casino in Atlantic City.

Two things occurred to me during this stunt. First, it may not be entirely wise for a visibly dyskinetic Parkinson's patient to engage in contact sports. That said, Mr. J. Fox is 45 years old and presumably can make his own decisions. What troubles me more is the very existence of a casino patterned after the Taj Mahal. Last time I checked, Islam regards gambling as a sin of the gravest magnitude. (See Qur'an 2:219 and 5:90-91.) Was it perhaps a bit insensitive, then, for Mr. Trump to install his gambling den inside a replica of the most famous Muslim building on earth?

© 2007. Visit Holy Prepuce! to read and post comments, to search archived posts by topic (e.g. Culture, Smut), and for "fair use" disclaimer regarding use of copyrighted works.